Re: FRI: HUMOR - Real Doctor Stories...
From: mark decker (mdecker@nconnect.net)
Mon May 28 22:43:08 2001
i was in medical school - on a FP rotation. the plastic specs with fiber
optics first came out then - i suspect 1983 or so - senior year -
since the first batch of these specs came in and we were to all use them
the FP resident i was assigned to asked the 19 y/o college student there
for a cpe and ocp refill exam of she would mind if another FP doc could be
there to see how the spec worked - he explained they were new and we were
just starting to use them that very morning..she said yes...
when he placed the spec and then applied the fiber optics the visualization
was so much superior to the lamp over the shoulder the other FP doc in the
room noted the improvement by saying..
"boy that's really nice!"..
she lifted her head of her pillow and said , "thank you."..
we looked at each other and thought better of saying anything - knowing we
would only make matters worse if we tried to point out to her that we were
commenting on the spec and not her.
we made a point to explain what happened to the dept chair right after the
exam.
true story..
mark d.
At 08:26 PM 5/28/2001 -0500, you wrote:
>The last one should really make you smile!
>Joanne
>
>REAL DOCTOR STORIES
>
>A man comes into the Hospital's E.R. and yells, "My wife's going to
>have her baby in the cab! "I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab,
>lifted the lady's dress, and began to quickly take off her underwear.
>Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong
>one!
> Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX
>----------------
>At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and
>----------------
>slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I
>----------------
>instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsed the patient.
> Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA
>----------------
>One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her
>----------------
>husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five
>----------------
>minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he
>had died of a "massive internal fart."
> Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada
>------------
>I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test.
>I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your
>right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your
>left." Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was
>silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned
>and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was
>standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to
>finish the exam.
> Dr. Matthew Theodropolous Villanus, Worcester, MA
>--------------
>During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist,
>he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his
>medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch." The nurse told me to
>put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to
>put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I
>wouldn't see... Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now
>the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new
>one.
> Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA
> --------------
>While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long
>have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she
>answered.... "Why, not for about twenty years-when my husband was
>alive."
> Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR
> ------------
>I was caring for a woman from Missouri and asked, "So how's your
>breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for that Kentucky
>Jelly... I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. I
>then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled
>"KY Jelly".
> Dr. Leonard
>
>--
>Joanne Bulley, MD, FACOG
>Keene, NH, USA
