Y'all UN-American types could add some of your own regional ideas and we
could start a chain... Interested?
--
Subject: POLITICS and CHICKENS
WHY DOES THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
VICE PRESIDENT GORE
I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens
right now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will
fight
for the chickens and I will not disappoint them.
GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say give
the
road to the chickens and let them decide. The government needs to let go
of
strangling the chickens so they can get across the road.
SENATOR LIEBERMAN
I believe that every chicken has the right to worship
his or her God in his or her own way. Crossing the road is a spiritual
journey and no chicken should be denied the right to cross the road in his
or her own way.
SECRETARY CHENEY
Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They could fly if they
wanted to. Chickens don't want to cross the road. They don't need help
crossing the
road. In fact, I'm not interested in crossing the road myself.
RALPH NADER
Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by the evil tire
makers.
Chickens aren't ignorant, but our society pays tire makers to create the
need for these roads and then lures chickens into believing there is an
advantageto crossing them. Down with the roads, up with chickens.
PaT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side."
That's what "they" call it-the "other side." Yes, my friends, that
chicken is
gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal
media
whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That
chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as
that.
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross without having
their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
enough for us.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have
to
cross before you believe it?
FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the
chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads,
butwill
lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook -and
Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
chicken?
BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by "chicken"?
Could you define "chicken" please?
GEORGE BUSH
I don't think I should have to answer that question.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the
"black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou
shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much
rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?
