Re: Arrogance and Sensitivity (was Sterile too young)

From: Paul Prior MD (pprior@earthlink.net)
Tue Apr 18 23:01:48 2000


On Tue, 18 Apr 2000 22:39:53 -0500, jbulley@cheshire.net (Joanne Bulley, MD) wrote:

>This is not a question of what appears to be total logic (don't marry
>that person, get ou, don't have sex, get a termination or give the baby
>away) - it is a question of mucked up human psychology and CAN each of
>us learn to reconize the signs in our patients that they are living in
>these situations and need help making changes.

Joanne -

I think we have people arguing what each holds as a reasonable and honestly held assessment of a very difficult problem. I would hope that the professionals on this list would be able to discuss this tenacious issue in a professional manner and that we can dispense with some of the ad hominem attacks seen on these couple threads (note: I'm not saying you're at fault here, just plugging this into this reply!).

Having said that, I think Bob's position, which I happen to mirror although far less forcefully and eloquently in some ways, is that the help we should be providing to make changes is one of "tough love" in that we don't provide any support for co-dependent behavior and do not become part of the rationalization process. Quite frankly I believe we should give a single message to our patients: abuse is not acceptable in any fashion and should not be tolerated. Period. The pop psychology of women as helpless victims who cannot escape their social situations IMO is a sign of the current acceptance and rationalization of many types of improper behavior in our society and of our unwillingness to take personal responsibility rather than a fundamental human weakness.

In the end, nobody really knows what the best answer is. The best answer for this list however, is to not develop personal animosity when we are all striving for the same goal. Nobody here is advocating abuse, just debating how we should deal with it.

And as to the comment about the non-layperson list - the ob-gyn list 2 (i.e. by credentials only) was a blossoming version, but seems to have died. I have always been strongly for such a list and this thread is a classic example of why!

Regards.

--
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