Re: Technical support document
From: Braun, R. Daniel (rbraun@iupui.edu)
Sun Jan 30 07:51:23 2000
A lot of good advice in this piece of frippery.
Dan
R. Daniel Braun, MD FACOG
Clinical Professor
Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology
Indiana U. School of Medicine
Indianapolis, IN 46202
OBGYN.net
International Representative for United States
Certified AllExperts Expert
Check out my bio/ratings page!
http://www.allexperts.com/displayExpert.asp?Expert=1236
-----Original Message-----
From: DoctorJoe@aol.com [mailto:DoctorJoe@aol.com]
Sent: Saturday, January 29, 2000 6:37 PM
To: Multiple recipients of list OB-GYN-L
Subject: FRI: Re:Technical support document
I'm sure we all remember the female version (or was it the male version...
hmmmm... ça depende...) previously posted, regarding upgrading from
Girlfriend v.3 or whatever to Wife 1.0. Well, this HAD to finally show up...
Joe P.
--
<< > To whom it may concern:
> : >
> : >Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0
> : >and noticed that the new program began making
> : >unexpected changes to the accounting software;
> : >severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower and
> : >jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under
> : >Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this phenomenon was
> : >included in the product brochure. In addition, Husband 1.0
> : >uninstalls many other valuable programs such as
> : >DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1
> : >and installs new, undesirable programs such as
> : >PokerNight 1.3, SaturdayFootball 5.0, Golf 2.4 and
> : >ClutterEverywhere 4.5. Conversation 8.0 no longer
> : >runs, and invariably crashes the system. Under no
> : >>circumstances will it run DiaperChanging 14.1 or
> : >HouseCleaning 2.6. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to
> : >fix Husband 1.0, but this all purpose utility is of
> : >limited effectiveness. Can you help, please!!!! signed
> : >Jane
> : >
> : >Dear Jane:
> : >
> : >This is a very common problem women complain about,
> : >but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many
> : >people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with
> : >no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT
> : >package. However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM
> : >and was designed by its creator to run as few
> : >applications as possible. Further, you cannot purge
> : >Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because
> : >Husband 1.0 is not designed to do this. Hidden
> : >operating files within your system would cause
> : >Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is
> : >gained.
> : >
> : >It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the
> : >program files from the system, once installed. Any new
> : >program files can only be installed once per year, as
> : >Husband 1.0 has severely limited memory. Error
> : >messages are common, and a normal part of Husband 1.0.
> : >In desperation to play some of their "old time"
> : >favorite applications, or to get new applications to
> : >work, some women have tried to install Boyfriend 6.0,
> : >or Husband 2.0. However, these women end up with more
> : >problems than encountered with Husband
> : >1.0.
> : >
> : >Look in your manual under "Warnings: Divorce/Child
> : >Support." You will notice that this program runs very
> : >poorly, and comes bundled with HeartBreak 1.3. I
> : >recommend you keep Husband 1.0, and just learn the
> : >quirks of this strange and illogical system.
> : >Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also
> : >suggest you read the entire section regarding General
> : >Partnership Faults [GPFs]. This is a wonderful feature
> : >of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the parent
> : >company as an integral part of the operating system.
> : >Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL
> : >faults and problems, regardless of root cause. To
> : >activate this great feature enter the command "C:\ I
> : >THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME." Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run
> : >simultaneously while entering the command. Husband 1.0
> : >should then run the applications Apologize 12.3 and
> : >Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.
> : >
> : >TECH TIP!
> : >Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can
> : >create additional and more serious GPFs, and
> : >ultimately YOU may have to give a C:\ IAPOLOGIZE
> : >command before the system will return to normal
> : >operations. Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to
> : >default to GrumpySilence 2.5, or worse yet, to Beer
> : >6.0. Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes
> : >Husband 1.0 to create FatBelly files and SnoringLoudly
> : >wav files that are very hard to delete. Save yourself
> : >some trouble by following this tech tip!
> : >
> : >Just remember! The system will run smoothly, and take
> : >the blame for all GPFs, but because of this fine
> : >feature it can only intermittently run all the
> : >applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran. Husband 1.0 is a great
> : >program, but it does have limited memory and cannot
> : >learn new applications quickly. Consider buying
> : >additional software to improve performance. I
> : >personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and
> : >Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities
> : >can really help keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly.
> : >After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become
> : >familiar and you will find many valuable embedded
> : >features such as FixBrokenThings 2.1, Snuggling 4.2
> : >and BestFriend 7.6.
> : >
> : >A final word of caution!
> : >
> : >Do NOT, under any circumstances, install MotherInLaw
> : >1.0. This is not a supported application, and will
> : >cause selective shutdown of the operating system.
> : >Husband 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2
> : >until MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled.
> : >
> : >I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing
> : >to install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support
> : >wish you the best of luck in coming years. We trust
> : >you will learn to fully enjoy this product!
> : >
> : >Sincerely,
> : >Tech Support >>
