Re: 15 yrs with no sex drive
From: SONNENSTUHL (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Tue, 09 Nov 1999 08:35:40 -0800
You raise an excellent point here, and I am glad you said it. The
concern I have is that when I see a woman with no sex drive, the last
thing I want to do is suggest 'it's in your head', as that is what women
hear, or are frequently told by other provides.
Some women aren't aware of past sexual abuse, so this is always a
question I gently pose. Some women get upset being asked, as it suggests
that you are thinking it is 'in your head'. Once a relationship is
established, sometimes this can be discussed. On my sign in form, I ask
about sexual abuse. This allows women who've been abused to state it,
and provides for a good interaction.
For some women, they've not been sexually abused, and still have
decreased libido. My suggestions were for this group of women. The
person that asked this question didn't suggest there was a history of
sexual abuse, and I don't start out assuming this is the case.
I think you might agree, this is a touchy area, that needs to be handled
delicately.
I'm sorry if I offended you. I believe every provider should address
this in their practice, and be out front about discussing it. Whenever
someone indicates abuse, I gently remind them the impact on many aspects
of their life, from libido to problems in labor and childbirth.
Pat Sonnenstuhl, ARNP, CNM
"L.S." wrote:
>
> For Pat and any other Drs:
>
> I really hate to tell you this, but, ALL womens problems are not
> strictly MEDICAL problems but Psychological as well. There are MANY
> women out there who seem to have the same symptoms but no reason(s) for
> their symptoms. Well, I emailed some of those people w/symptoms related
> to mine and have found out that almost ALL of these people were sexually
> abused as a child. A NON abused person will never know what we have had
> to deal with from beginning to end and they can't possibly know the
> physical damage(s) that can occur to "SURVIVORS". I suggest to anyone
> that if they have been abused in the past to mention that in their posts
> so the doctors are aware of it prior to trying to give "ADVICE" online.
> Then I suggest counseling....that is what I found that I need to move on
> and get rid of the pain that isn't a MEDICAL condition at all.
>
> Sorry for sounding so rude but this makes me mad and I just thought I'd
> express myself.
>
> Thank you in advance for listening.
>
> At Mon, 25 Oct 1999, SONNENSTUHL wrote:
> >
> >Not being 'in the mood' is a common feeling for women, and could be
> >indicative of a hormone imbalance. Some feel adding Testosterone to your
> >hormones might help. Others feel progesterone might help. There are
> >several good books by Lonnie Garfield Barbach. One is:
> >For Yourself : The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality. It's been around
> >awhile, but quite good. There are also several other good books:
> >Before the Change is a good one by Ann Louise Gittleman:
> >http://members.home.net/cnmpat/bkrevchg.htm
> >as is Natural Woman, Natural Menopause, by Laux.
> >
> >I think this lack of desire is very common in our overexploited society.
> >You didn't mention your age, nor other activities. Some couples just
> >become so busy, it's just not a big deal.
> >So yes, some hormonal things you can do. Discuss this with your health
> >care provider and see what they recommend. And don't let them tell you
> >"it's all in your head."
> >Pat Sonnenstuhl, ARNP, CNM
> >Sue wrote:
> >>
> >> I have read just about every question on the "forum" trying to find some
> >> answers to my problem. I have had counselling, been on
> >> anti-depressants, been on and off the pill and had my thyroid
> >> checked...but nothing has helped. I love my husband very much and our
> >> marriage is perfect except for this. He is lovable, understanding,
> >> patient (to a certain degree, we can talk about anything but neither one
> >> of us can figure out why this is happening to me. I have kids and my
> >> problem started around the time of my 2nd child. If I can force myself
> >> to "do it", once I get going I'm fine but I just can't get the urge or
> >> desire to start anything. I make up excuses all the time because I just
> >> can't be bothered. Does anyone know why this is happening, is it a
> >> hormonal thing. Is there a herb or "anything" that is out there that
> >> can make my "brain" turn on!. Like I said once it gets going I'm fine
> >> and I wonder if there's a hormone or something somewhere that needs a
> >> "boost". After 15 years I need some answers so desperately because I
> >> just can't go on like this...Please someone help me.
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