|
Re: Acute/complete loss of libido 10 years ago--never revived.
From: betty (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Thu, 26 Aug 1999 08:31:30 -0500 (CDT)
Seeing no one has replied. Try the boards at http://www.pathfinder.com/ddrruth
and http://www.parentsplace.com. You might find some good advice there. Go to
these sites and look for the "boards". Let me know if you have trouble
finding them.
At Sun, 22 Aug 1999, Mark wrote:
>
>Please bear with me because this doesn't seem to fit the stereotype
>usually associated with this. I'm also not sure my posting is welcome
>here since this is a woman's forum.
>My wife lost any libido she may have possessed 10 years ago with the
>birth of our daughter (my wife was 32 at the time). Along with it,
>interest in showing *any* affection, sexual or non-sexual, has also
>disappeared. Prior to this, we had two years of warm, blissful
>marriage.
>I've asked her how she perceives the rest of the relationship and she
>answers "great." When I asked her what she would change about me if she
>could, she answered, "nothing."
>For the last 4 years, she's been through counseling (actually, we both
>have), depression therapy (she took Serazone for 2 years), and we're now
>seeing a marriage counselor. The reason we waited so long to look for
>help is we weren't really sure we could afford it. Now we can't afford
>not to.
>Anytime there is a sexual encounter, she is incapable of any arousal. In
>fact, the whole experience has become something to avoid--she doesn't
>get anything out of it; and I feel more like a rapist than a lover when
>it's over. There's so many negative feelings, and more restrictions
>than I care to mention.
>I'm only 40 years old and am not looking forward to a life of married
>celibacy. She is presently taking Estratest (has been for 2 months).
>There is still no revival of any sexual interest; although there was one
>time when she did have what she termed as a satisfying orgasm. But this
>only happened after an hour of stimulation.
>If this problem only pertained to the actual sex act itself, maybe it
>would be bearable; but it invades every aspect of our lives. There is
>no other sign of affection sought after, except maybe the occasional
>hug. No kissing, no carressing, no sitting close, little conversation
>(she's got her head crammed in a book most of the time), etc. Anything
>on that order has to be initiated by me, and quite often is not welcome.
>Yet she seems totally satisfied (other than our sexual incompatibility)
>with the marriage.
>
>What do we do? Her doctor didn't think this was hormonal, but what else
>could it be? She did respond a little to the Estratest. There's no
>drive, but there was a satisfying orgasm (not that any attempt to
>duplicate it has been sought).
>By the way, I need to add that we've had another child 9 months ago. The
>reason for this was so that my wife "could have something to enjoy in
>this marriage" (her words, not mine). As a result, the gap has only
>widened, since I've been shoved to the outermost part of her world due
>to the fact that she's now breast-feeding and caring for a new-born.
>
>My question is: Is there a hormone treatment plan that works? Or, what
>other alternatives do we have to restore some normalcy to this "business
>arrangment" we call a marriage. It's like being married to your sister.
>
>Mark
|
|
![[ Women's Health Forum ]](http://www.obgyn.net/images_women/wh-forum.gif)