WOMENS-HEALTH Messages for August, 1997: A Funny-things you don't want to hear

A Funny-things you don't want to hear

From: AnnMarie (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Thu, 21 Aug 1997 11:45:09 +0000

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Things a doctor should never say in an operating room. >
> -- Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
>
> -- Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop
>
> -- Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness
>
> -- Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
>
> -- Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
>
> --Uhhhh Ohhhhh - I'm feeling Really Sick!!
>
> -- Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie
>
> -- Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
>
> -- Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
>
> -- Damn, there go the lights again...
>
> -- Ya know, there's big money in kidneys.
>
> Hell, the guy's got two of 'em.
>
> -- Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
>
> -- Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my
> concentration off
>
> -- What's this doing here?
>
> -- I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.
>
> -- That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
>
> -- I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
>
> -- Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
>
> -- Sterile, schmerile. The floor's clean, right?
>
> -- What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change...!
>
> -- Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
>
> -- And now we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of
> the ape.
>
> -- OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of
> nature.
>
> -- This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
>
> -- Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
>
> -- Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
>
> -- What do you mean "You want a divorce"?!?
>
> -- She's gonna blow! Everyone take cover!!!
>
> -- FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
>
> -- Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
>

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