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Re: Mother at 63 Let The Debate Begin!From: Roberta (anonymous@obgyn.net)Sat, 26 Apr 1997 01:43:09 -0500 (CDT)
>Dear Roberta (and all), > >Are we really debating the woman's right to chose again? How many times >must we revisit >this issue of whether or not women should be able to chose what, when, >and how to do things >with their bodies? > >OK, 63 is a bit old to think of raising a child in most people's eyes. Very eloquently stated. Thanks for taking me up on my offer. I enjoy these types of conversations because there is no right or wrong. It is all open for interpretation. I like hearing the stimulating thoughts of others. My Mom had me at 45. Forty one years ago that was very unusual. None of my friends had "old" parents and at times that was difficult when I got old enough to worry about what the world thought. My father got sick when I was nine and died at 59 when I was 13. Mother and I were extremely close and she lived until I was 39. My point is that I think it was difficult having parents older than all my friends. But isn't ther always something difficult in growing up? My parents had more time for me than they did for my older sibs. I was babied. I'm not sorry I was born. There were some good things and some very sad ones about havin older parents than my peers. Yes, I agree women have the right to do what they want with their bodies. One point to consider personally though is that the loss of a parent at an early age is a life altering tradgedy to a child. Many young parents die too, but surely the odds go up the older you are when you have the baby. Twenty one of my thirty nine years on earth with one or both of my parents were spent dealing with them while they suffered with chronic ilnesses that finally killed them. Dealing with sick and dying parents is surely never easy but having it absorb all your young years is very sad. I am sure that the Mom loves her little girl. And like me the little girl loves her Mom. So what will she do when Mother and Dad need to be cared for? Probably love them and take care of them. The fact is it is very likely that this job will begin at the same time she is naturally wanting to test her wings and start a life and family of her own. This will tear her emotionally in two directions. Believe me I know this happens. Usually with younger parents it happens during middle age when you have already settled down. I am not suggesting legislation or to restrict women's right to choose. I'm only suggesting that very few people live to be healthy, vibrant 90 year olds, and losing your Mom and Dad before your 30th birthday or sooner is devastating emotionally. Caring for them or feeling guilty because you don't want to is the only other sad alternative. It's kind of like deciding to have a baby when you know you have a terminal illness. Life itself being a terminal condition it stands to reason the older you are the more terminal your condition. I would personally not choose to have a baby at 63 because I would be sad at the thought of leaving it at such a tender age. But that is my personal opinion and I do not chide her. I hope she and her baby are happy and enjoying their lives. Roberta But, all that said and done. I'm glad to be here. :-) Roberta
-- Roberta F. Speyer Founder of OBGYN.net President and CEO roberta.speyer@obgyn.net Elecomm Corporation http://www.obgyn.net 1900 West Koenig Lane (512) 451-2842 Austin, Texas 78756 (512) 377-5626 FAX
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