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Re: I need help...From: n/a (anonymous@obgyn.net)Sun, 28 May 2000 19:46:55 -0500 (CDT)
Well, after writing this post...I realized I shared everything anyway (hopefully nobody I know will stumble upon this)...it's pretty long...so this is the forwarning.. :) Robin, in response to your post, I've had a couple of cysts before and also had them drained, but what I found this week was different. Absoluely NO pain from it and it feels...just different, I really don't know how to explain it. But anyway, I'm really not looking for a diagnosis here...I just need someone to talk to about it I guess. For years I've been living with these problems and haven't had anyone to talk to. As far as finding a doctor, I'd really like to..but I don't know how to go about it. I had a very bad experience before..where the doctor at the free clinic was the father of a friend of mine. I guess he assumed she knew of my problem (had an STD) and he talked with her about it. She knew nothing, but after he told her..you can bet the whole school knew. I switched doctors after that and the new doctor kept having me come in switching his diagnosis from one STD to another. He had to do 3 different paps. I never went back. They even called to say something was wrong and I needed to come in, but I didn't. A few months after that I went to the hospital for a cyst I had on my vaginal area. While there, I questioned the doctor about itching and a discharge I had (the same thing the clinic was calling me back in on). After checking it out, he told me it was only a yeast infection. Well...that was 6 years ago and I haven't been to a doctor since. About a year after seeing the doctor for the cyst, I started getting a rash on my labia..it really itched. I thought it would just go away, but of course...it didn't. It eventually started spreading down the inside of my legs. It was then when I became too embarrased to see a doctor for it. As of now, the rash is still there..all over the outside of my vagina and down both legs (about 2 inches down)...it itches every single day, it's red, flaky, and slightly bumpy. Also, every once in awhile...I get a painful bump/sore on my labia. I'm guessing that could be herpes or something...I have no idea. I have really irregular periods. I also read an article on PCOS and notice that I have 7 of the 9 syptoms listed. I was convinced that I have that as well. Then, about 3 weeks ago, I had a lesion sort of thing pop up on my neck...HIV first came to mind. Then, this week...I had the abdominal pain like I've never felt before and the strange lump. I'm scared of going to the doctor and finding out I have the worst case scenario...which is everything all at once! HIV, PCOS, herpes, cancer, and some other STD's all together. Whatever it is, I'm convinced I'm gonna die (sooner than normal). Well, onto the doctor part... Now, I wasn't having sex at this time. I broke up with my sexual partner when I had went to the clinic in the beginning and didn't have sex with anyone else. SO, whatever problem I have..if it's an STD, I know I got it 6 years ago and have had it all this time. I sit here trying to diagnose myself every single day and trying to convince myself to see a doctor. But...I live in a small town now and my greatest fear is going to the doctor, having them look at me with disgust...and then having a chance of seeing that doctor at the grocery store or wherever. How do I explain to someone why I have walked around like this for 5-6 years? And..I'm new to this area and don't have friends or family to suggest a doctor. What I would wish could happen is...I meet a doctor, who is VERY friendly and caring. I speak with her about my problem...explaining in detail why I haven't been to a doctor and how extremely embarrased I am. Then, have her reassure me that she's not gonna look at me in disgust. Then, after getting to know her and feeling comfortable, I disrobe and let her see. BUT...that's not how it works. And, I can't afford to just pay for office visits to just go in and see if I like and can trust the doctor. So, how do I find the right doctor? I thought maybe through the net...thought I could find a doctor...talk to them about my problem through e-mail or phone and then when I feel comfortable, go see them. But...no such luck finding anything like that. I'm even willing to travel to a close bigger city...but again, how do I get to know and feel comfortable with a doctor before the actual testing? Another thing...usually a receptionist and nurse of some sort deal with you first. They ask you all about your problems. I don't want to deal with those people. I can barely face going in and telling a doctor my problems, much less all the other people. How can I get around that? AND...which doctor do y'all suggest I see...an OBGYN? That's what I was thinking because most of my problems seem to be of that nature. Oh well...so there you have it...the whole story. And this is my cry for help. Again, any help will be greatly appreciated.
At Sun, 28 May 2000, Robin wrote:
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