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Re: insensitive friend question (sort of long and involved!)
From: jodi (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Thu, 31 May 2001 14:52:39 -0500 (CDT)
Oh man... THAT is what you call NO TACT. I'm sorry you had to endure
anyone
asking you such a question... it's really not the kind of thing that
should be done!
:-(
At Thu, 31 May 2001, Anonymus wrote:
>
>Same thing happened to me other day in my office. A female colleague of
>mine commented do I shave under my chin as she can see hair sometime. I
>am basically a very sensitive person and I was so embarassed by her
>question. That too she aksed me in front of other colleagues. I had to
>tell her about the medical condition of me having PCOS. She didn't even
>care to listen properly. I felt so bad. Well I could have commented
>her on her height she is barely 4'9''. I just ignored. It hurts when
>people point to your most personal things. Well my DH is so good that
>he consoled me and told me to tackle such people than and there only
>instead feeling bad or getting hurt.
> Thanks for listening :(
>
>At Thu, 31 May 2001, Susan C. wrote:
>>
>>I love that solution Sonnet! And I could think of a few times that could
>>come in handy. And don't worry about your evil side... it's one of our
>>favorites! lol
>>Susan C.
>>
>>At Thu, 31 May 2001, Sonnet wrote:
>>>
>>>*giggle* Okay, maybe this is my evil side coming out, but wouldn't it be
>>>too good to find one of his flaws that you know shames him (and from
>>>what you say, I am sure you could find one!) and then next time you're
>>>out, have the same conversation with him except flip flopped. I.e.,
>>>tell him there's this freak guy you always see who has _____ (nose hair,
>>>a bad smell, insensitivity, a gimpy leg, whatever) and you're just so
>>>grossed out by having to share the world with a person like that, I mean
>>>can you IMAGINE! Maybe he'll pick up on the subtle point, hey? Heh.
>>>Don't ever let anyone make you feel like you're worth any less because
>>>of PCOS! You and every other woman (and every person, for that matter)
>>>all deserve space on the earth.
>>>
>>>At Thu, 31 May 2001, Alicia wrote:
>>>>
>>>>This is more of a personal situation semi-related to PCOS, but I am
>>>>looking for opinions on how to handle it.
>>>>
>>>>I have a male friend with whom I talk quite a bit. (He used to like me,
>>>>but I decided we were better as friends.) He does not know about PCOS
>>>>and I don't think he needs to know. He's just a friend after all. Well,
>>>>the other day we were sitting and drinking coffee at Starbucks and he
>>>>brings up this woman he saw with a full beard. He said he always sees
>>>>her when he's leaving work and she looks at him with a crazy expression.
>>>>He goes on and on about how there are creams and things to help with
>>>>that. And that, definitively, women should not have beards. He almost
>>>>sounded offended by her existence.
>>>>
>>>>My response was to smile and say, "Oh, really?"
>>>>
>>>>My own paranoia and experience has caused me to examine this
>>>>conversation in several ways.
>>>>
>>>>One, was he telling me this to try and tell ME something, as in, "I
>>>>notice something on your face, too. So what's up with that?" (It could
>>>>be spiteful, seing as I turned him down as a romantic interest last
>>>>year.)
>>>>
>>>>Or is he just a misinformed and insensitive man (who is far from a
>>>>perfect specimen himself) voicing his opinion about women (as some men
>>>>feel they are entitled to do)?
>>>>
>>>>And how should I have handled this? I could have launched in to a story
>>>>about PCOS, and how it's a common and "legitimate" reason for a woman to
>>>>have a beard. (But I didn't want him to start staring at my chin and
>>>>asking me if I have it.)
>>>>
>>>>Any opinions? I am slightly annoyed by his comments and next time he
>>>>says anything like that I want to be prepared. I guess I am offended
>>>>that HE seemed so offended by this woman's face!
>>>
>>>--
>>>Email always welcome to: sonnet_fitz@hotmail.com
>>>
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