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Fri: Why did the chicken cross the road?From: John Robertson M.D. (john.robertson@obgyn.net)Fri Feb 26 07:55:17 1999
>Subject: Why did the chicken cross the road? > >A Feathered Friend >-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- > >Why did the chicken cross the road? > >KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side. > >PLATO: For the greater good. > >ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. > >KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability. > >TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would >let it take. > >SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were >quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. > >RONALD REAGAN: I forget. > >CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone >before. > >HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas. > >ARTHUR ANDERSEN CONSULTANT: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the >road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was >faced with significant challenges to create and develop the >competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen >Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the >chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and >implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), >Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, >capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and >technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program >Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse >cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson >consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage >in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal >knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to >synergize with an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum >of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like >setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was >strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, >clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's >mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the >creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting >helped the chicken change to become more successful. > >LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The >chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him >down. > >MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will >be free to cross roads without having their motives called into >question. > >FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many >more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it? > >RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the >chicken did NOT cross the road. > >MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who >cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive >there was. > >JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't >anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking >around all over the place, anyway? > >FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken >crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. > >BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which >will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important >documents, and balance your checkbook. > >OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the >road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, >whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?" > >DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally >selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross >roads. > >EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved >beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. > >BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature. > >RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road ....it >transcended it. > >ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. > >COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one? >
-- J.G.M.Robertson MD, 109-9181 Main St. Chilliwack, B.C. V2P 4M9, Canada (604) 793-9988 e-mail john.robertson@obgyn.net Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. James 3 vs 13, NIV
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