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Re: Lawyers, lawyers, everywhere!! From: Brian Hackman (brianhackman@easynet.co.uk) Mon Aug 12 14:37:04 1996 Messages sorted by: [ date ][ thread ][ subject ][ author ] Next message: Terrence.Jones@ncal.kaiperm.org: "Re: Lawyers and screening" Previous message: Wayne H. Persutte: "(no subject)" In reply to: David Zimmerman: "Re: Lawyers, lawyers, everywhere!!" Next in thread: MNudel@aol.com: "Re: Lawyers, lawyers, everywhere!!" >I wholeheartedly support tightening the credentialing process for list >membership, but it would be a grave injustice to limit admittance to >"phsycians only". This list is an excellent forum for sharing information >with ALL who provide health care to women. I am physically isolated in a >small community and the opportunity to trade thoughts with a large number >of experienced care providers provides a great advantage for my patients >and probably affects the lives of many more women by disseminating >information to all types of caregivers. > >Geoff Klein is to be congratulated on the superb creation he has forged. > >Terri Rosenbaum, M.D. >private practice >Lihue, Hawaii > >"A true measure of one's character is the health of one's spouse." This has my vote. And now to cheer you all up I send the bithplan of one of our midwives: -- Brian Hackman <underline><fontfamily><param>Times</param>BIRTH PLAN FOR MRS. SUSAN XXXXXXX</fontfamily></underline><fontfamily><param>Times</param> <bigger>Contact my friends at the Fitzwilliam (<italic>the local hunt</italic>) at the onset of labour to invite them along for support At the onset of contractions | (a) place 2 - 4 bottles of Moet & Chandon on ice and keep cool throughout labour. The champagne should not fall below the level of 2 bottles minimum. I shall need to sip this throughout my labour as will the obstetrician & my friends ; (b) Contact the Consultant Anaesthetist who will administer my Epidural immediately - I must experience NO pain at all. (c) I shall be bringing in my Take That CD's to play during this time and will need the necessary equipment to play these (d) I must not be allowed to perspire - (e) The delivery room should be full of flowers to match my specially designed birthing outfit (f) I should like pastel coloured bed linen which has been laundered in plenty of fabric conditioner 3. On no account do I wish for any of my bodily hair to be removed nor do I wish that any part of my body be exposed other than is necessary towards the end of labour. I shall be wearing a specially designed birthing outfit 4. I may decide to give birth in a warm birthing pool. If I do decide this at the onset of my first contraction I shall need to be transferred to the Thomas Cook Leisure Centre, together with the obstetrician and my supporters and the ice cold Moet & Chandon. Arrangements for this eventuality should be arranged in advance and staff are advised to bring their swimming costumes 5. I <bold>shall need my make-up </bold>and Anais Anais applied every 30 minutes to ensure I am in pristine condition to meet my unborn child. 6. I do <bold>not wish to hear the </bold>words "relax", "push", "bear down" or "nearly there"at all during my labour. I just want the baby delivered as quickly and as painlessly as possibly 7. I would like to order some smoked salmon sandwiches with a small green salad if I am in labour during Lunch and a selection of canapes for my supporters. I can only eat comfortably off fine bone china. 8. If my unborn child has red hair it should be discreetly swapped with another (white skinned) child. 9. I don't wish to see any mess (i.e. blood placenta etc.) or to experience any unpleasant odour. </bigger></fontfamily> Mr.Brian Hackman, Butts House, Church Road, Glatton, Cambridgeshire, PE17 5RR. U.K. Tel.(+)1487830645 Fax.(+)1487832949 Next message: Terrence.Jones@ncal.kaiperm.org: "Re: Lawyers and screening" Previous message: Wayne H. Persutte: "(no subject)" In reply to: David Zimmerman: "Re: Lawyers, lawyers, everywhere!!" Next in thread: MNudel@aol.com: "Re: Lawyers, lawyers, everywhere!!"

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