lawyer humor
From: Charlie Chambers (cchamber@IC.Owatonna.MN.US)
Sun Aug 11 12:26:13 1996
Considering the current sentiments of the group, I thought these would be
well-appreciated.
>
>> Subject: Re[1]: LAWYERS SAY THE DARNEST THINGS
>>
>> From the Salt Lake Tribune:
>>
>> "Lawyers typically aren't funny -- unless by accident.
>> Case in point: The following questions from lawyers were
>> taken from official court records nationwide...
>>
>> 3) Q: What happened then?
>> A: He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because
>> you can identify me.'
>> Q: Did he kill you?
>>
>> 4) Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?
>>
>> 5) The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
>>
>> 6) Were you alone or by yourself.
>>
>> 8) Do you have any children or anything of that kind?
>>
>> 9) Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize
>> that picture.
>> A: That's me.
>> Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?
>>
>> 11) Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage
>> terminated?
>> A: By death.
>> Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
>>
>> 12) Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
>> A: I'll be three months on November 8.
>> Q: Apparently, then, the date of conception was
>> August 8?
>> A: Yes.
>> Q: What were you doing at that time?
>>
>> 17) Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
>> A: Yes.
>> Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
>>
>> 18) Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
>> A: Not yet.
>>
>> 19) A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of
>> unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself
>> and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next
>> question."
>>
>> 20) Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you
>> examined the body of Mr. Edington at the rose
>> Chapel?
>> A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about
>> 8:30 p.m.
>> Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that
>> correct?
>> A: No, you stupid, he was sitting on the
>> table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!
>>
>
--
##############################################################################
Charlie Chambers, M.D. " No matter where you go...
cchamber@ic.owatonna.mn.us there you are"
Owatonna Clinic, P.A.
(507) 451-1120
############################################################################
##
