ENDO Messages for September, 2004: Re: ally tough day

Re: ally tough day

From: margaret (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Sat Sep 18 18:30:56 2004

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In reply to: Kim: "really tough day"

Hi Kim....I read your story and burst into tears because I relate in some ways with you so much,like seeing the women with their babies and watching the father watch over them and thinking I will never have that. When I watch a woman rub her pregnant belly and I know the closest thing I will come to is rubbing my bloated belly. I am also 25 (or will be in Oct) and I've been married for 5yrs. I also, will never have children, it is just something I feel in my heart and have accepted it. I am ready to get a hysterectomy, but no doctors can/want to do it because I am either to young and without children (and I live in a place where that rarely exists) or they want to do it, but I have to get up and leave again. I had a doctor going to do it here (I moved here in June and thought I would stay for at least a yr), but I just found out last month that I will be moving again in mid Nov (I'm not in the circus, but the military. I don't really know the difference sometimes.hahaha) It is the hardest thing sometimes to look at women with babies and unfortunately, everywhere I turn their are babies and mommies or pregnant women and I think why not me. To give you an understanding, I live in Baby Capital, USA. I live at Ft. Campbell, Ky and when the troops of the 101st returned from their deployment it caused a baby boom. It is so big that Oprah is coming next week to throw the World's Largest Baby Shower. It's crazy, I had to live without my husband for a yr, but of course I didn't get to be apart of the boom. Man, you want to talk about a bad day; I live in a nightmare(its just ironic & kind of funny that this is where i am meant to be at this time of my life). Please don't think bad of me I am very happy for all the women that are pregnant, but I guess I get little jealous at times. Sorry, I was going to have a point, but got carried away with my own frustrations. Anyways, what I have learned is that my husband loves me unconditionally and whether I have my own child or we adopt he will look at me and that baby with those same loving eyes that I have seen on other husbands/fathers. Sometimes, it gets a little crazy and especially when I have a bad day and I sometimes I get a little jealous, but its ok I will have my day and so will you. God has a plan for us all and right now you have to try and calmly look at the situation you are in with school and the hysterectomy and do talk to your professor before you cancel your hyst. and hopefully the both of you can work something out, but if you can't then maybe look at all of this as a sign and wait. That is what I learned to do, I look at it one of two ways. One, miracles are possible or Two, maybe the doctor that was willing to do it wasn't the doctor that should. We have to remember that our time isn't always the right time. I wish you much luck with everything and it will all work out for the best. Take care, God bless, and you are with me in my thoughts and prayers.

Margaret

At Fri, 17 Sep 2004, Kim wrote: >
>Hi guys.... just thought I'd write for a minute to get some stuff off
>my chest. I know at least one of you had to have as bad of a day as I
>did (hope not.) I have come on here before and said how tough it has
>been lately to stay in school and put in all the insane clinical hours
>and late nights for study for this last year of nursing school.... but
>today took the cake. I have recently scheduled my hysterectomy for
>december.... not that I am looking forward to it or anything, but it is
>at least something concrete that may help with the pain (since Lupron
>and everything else has not.) So, I started my "mother /baby" rotation
>this morning and I didn't think it would bother me. I am 25 and have
>been married for about 7 years, no kids. My husband really wants kids
>but I have known for some time that it just wasn't going to happen. So
>today was a little tougher than I thought it would be; we have to spend
>alot of time in the nursery and then some time with the mothers and the
>babies in their rooms. It wasn't the actual baby part that made me
>sad.. strangely enough it was the way that the fathers were looking at
>their wives.... they were in awe and seemed so proud and loving... it
>just broke my heart to know my husband won't ever look at me that way
>(yes... I'm having a pity party right now.) To top it off we went over
>the clinical schedule and the final exam schedule and classes are going
>to go all the way into december instead of just the beginning, so now I
>have to either cancel the surgery because we start back in January and
>the only way I would have enough time to heal is if I did the surgery in
>the beginning as planned. SO.... I am trying to figure out what to do
>and will have to break down and tell my professor what is going on and
>see if she will work with me etc. I am just sick of worrying about this
>whole thing- Thanks for listening. Usually I would have whaled to my
>husband but he is at a Red Sox game and isn't too sympathetic when it
>comes to the "kids" issue because he gets so sensitive. Thanks again,
>KIM

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In reply to: Kim: "really tough day"

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