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History Repeats Itself..?From: Elaine (anonymous@obgyn.net)Mon Nov 15 19:53:41 1999
Ok guys, please back up a bit and take a deep breath. For some perspective, first of all, this is not the first time this forum has "exploded", nor will it probably be the last. However, possibly we can learn something from this. Consider a couple thoughts I've had in the last few days. *Are you familiar with the concept of "triangling"? Where instead of going directly and immediately to someone with a problem, you talk about it or them with other people? The result over time is major disfunction in any group. (Let me know and I can explain more if anyone is not familiar with this.) *Namecalling is usually done when a person feels threatened. I suggest we consider carefully why we might feel a need to verbally abuse others. (And yes, I consider even non-profane namecalling to be inappropriate to a place where we want participants to feel safe. There are already a lot of unsafe places on the internet. And can you imagine hearing some of the things we've said here being read back to you in a courtroom?!! This is a public forum.) *How do we get back to being supportive? Maybe we could make a list... An idea: It does appear that we continue to have new posters nearly every day--can we make a concentrated effort to answer their questions, give them support, tease out the real problems behind the questions, do all those things we (as a group) are so good at? *A question for consideration: Does being supportive mean you have to be "best friends"? Is the forum the place to discuss the daily ins and outs of your "best-friendship"? *Another idea: On another forum where I participate, some of the old regulars have developed a standard saying: "Blame Stout". When things heat up, someone can usually be counted upon to remind everyone that "it's Stout's fault". They've even developed an icon for it! In that spirit: You are welcome to "Blame Good" (BG) or tell someone that "it's that Good's fault" :) ! *A wise woman at my church once observed that when she most disagreed with the other people at her church (and felt the most like leaving) was when she was most needed (and likewise, the ones she disagreed with were most needed). *Conflict = growth. Is this true? In some cultures conflict is expected and used. Can we do that? Whew! Time to get off my soapbox and go back to work! Thanks for listening! Elaine in IL
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