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Re: LisaFrom: anonymous@obgyn.netTue Nov 30 15:40:28 1999
Jenn and Michele... I hear ya! I felt the same way, and I counted the days I was pain free in the beginning...then I had a setback, and after that I never counted them again and try not to think too hard about it! lol Of course, JENN, there are always those other little nuisances that we get, huh? Did someone say shopping??? I will be out there this weekend...Michele, I wasn't as smart as you to take advantage of the after Thanksgiving sales! My best to both of you and all you angels out there. Love, Lisa << Hey Michele! I just wanted to butt in here.....I can totally relate to how you are feeling about being scared to feel good. Last year was my worst year and i wanted to die because I was in so much pain. Well in September last year I had my left ovary removed. I was so scared when one month went by with NO pain at all.....then two months.....and then before I knew it 6 months had gone by and it has now been like 14 months!!!!!!! I also felt guilty for feeling so good when all my friends here were in the same place i had just been....but then I realized I could offer some window of hope for them. this summer I did have some spells of really bad pain but I believe the continuous bcp has worked. I just can't believe how good I am doing. I managed to graduate from college too with the pain but now life feels so good. I feel free. Some days I felt like I could just run and jump high to the clouds. I could actually go to the mall without taking pain killers with me and I could stay more than 30 minutes b/c I was not doubled over in pain. I can lay on my tummy when i go to sleep now. I am not living with a heating pad glued to my pelvis. I am not at the drs weekly (well not for the endo and pain anyway LOL :O) and when i took some more college courses last year after graduating and after surgery, I did so well.....I made the dean's list at the university (not just the community college that I went to and made the dean's list....even with pain....this was exciting for me)....I went to the beach like every weekend this year....I jumped the huge waves at the ocean which I have not done in years.......I forgot how life really was supposed to feel.....without pain at all.... Am I concerned that the pain could come back with a vengence? Yes. I don't dwell on it but if I get any cramp at all I start to freak but then I realize that it went away with over the counter meds and I know that is still improvement and far from the lowest place i was last year...... I hope that you have a long period of time like me without pain. I just had to share that with you and with anyone else who might be feeling the same way. I think it is natural to feel that way too. for so many years life is nothing but pain and then one day that is gone and just when you thought you didn't know life any other way....life gives you a break. I guess the only advice I could offer, if I may, is to enjoy each day you have without pain and to try not to think about the pain you had before.....take it one day at a time until you can take it a week at a time and then eventually a month or 6 months at a time.....hang in there and know I am cheering for your pain free days! Jenn
At 04:56 PM 11/29/99 -0600, you wrote:
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