[Fwd: Fwd[2]:FW: Upgrade joke]
From: Allan (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Mon Jul 26 11:40:47 1999
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Date: Fri, 09 Jul 1999 15:59:40 -0500
From: Steve <anonymous@obgyn.net>
Subject: Fwd[2]:FW: Upgrade joke
To: anonymous@obgyn.net
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Hey Bud,
All I can say is Women!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chow
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Subject: Fwd:FW: Upgrade joke
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Author: Marjorie Chang
Date: 7/9/99 1:53 PM
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Subject: FW: Upgrade joke
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Author: "Ryan LeeAnn (Atlanta)" <anonymous@obgyn.net>
Date: 7/9/99 2:35 PM
This is cute.
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Gustafson, Louise [SMTP:Louise.Gustafson@solvay.com]
> Sent: Friday, July 09, 1999 1:40 PM
> To: Pearson, Kristin; Charlotte Walsh (E-mail); Diane Finkel (E-mail);
> Daniel Roccapriore (E-mail); Janet Fishman (E-mail); Jim Baer (E-mail);
> Jim Potts (E-mail); LeeAnn Ryan (E-mail); Phil Beninato (E-mail); Tory
> Cenaj (E-mail); Tina Baer (E-mail 2)
> Subject: FW: Upgrade joke
>
> > Dear Tech Support:
> >
> > Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that
> > the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
> > space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was
> included
> > in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all
> > other programs and launches during system initialisation, where it
> > monitors
> > all other
> > system activity.
> > Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and
> > Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever
> > selected.
> > I can not seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting
> > to run some of my other favourite applications. I am thinking about
> going
> > back to Girlfriend 7.0, but un-install does not work on this program.
> >
> > Can you help me, please!!!
> > Thanks, Joe
> > =============================================================
> >
> > Dear Joe:
> >
> > This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due
> > to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to
> > Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES &
> > ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and
> > designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be
> > able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0.
> > Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0
> > to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to
> > un-install, delete, or purge the program files from the system once
> > installed. You can not go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is
> not
> > designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or
> > Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the
> > original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child
> > Support."
> >
> > I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having
> > Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire
> section
> > regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all
> responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of
> their cause.
> > The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\ APOLOGIZE. In
> any
> > case avoid excessive use of the "Esc" key because ultimately you will
> > have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will
> > return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the
> > blame
> > for all the GPFs.
> >
> > Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying
> > addition software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend
> > Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install
>
> > Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for
> > Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating
> system.
> >
> > Best of luck.
> > Tech Support.
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