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Re: Men Bashing
From: Allan (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Mon Jun 21 18:33:31 1999
this is hilarious!!! thanks, I needed a good laugh!! LMAO
Emer Gallahar Hall wrote:
>
> lol,,,I saw this,,and I just had to send it on to you all!.....rofl
>
> Emer in ireland
> >
> > Why do little boys whine?
> > Because they are practicing to be men.
> >
> > What do you call a handcuffed man?
> > Trustworthy.
> >
> > What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
> > calling your name?
> > You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
> >
> > Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went,
> >it
> > would be Hell.
> >
> > Why do men like smart women?
> > Opposites attract.
> >
> > How are husbands like lawn mowers?
> > They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the
> > time they don't work.
> >
> > How can you tell when a man is well hung?
> > When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the
> > noose.
> >
> > How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
> > We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
> >
> > How do men exercise on the beach?
> > By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
> >
> > How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes.
> >
> > How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases
> >of
> > beer instead of one.
> >
> > How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
> > All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs.
> >
> > How many men does it take to open a beer?
> > None.( It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch).
> >
> > How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
> > ONE - He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve
> > around him.
> >
> > What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? Any place without a
> > drive-up window.
> >
> > What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted.
> >
> > What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?
> > Exchange him.
> >
> > What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him
> >how
> > to work it.
> >
> > What's a man's definition of a romantic evening? SEX.
> >
> > What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship? Telling you his
> >real
> > name.
> >
> > What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups? Put the remote
> > control between his toes.
> >
> > What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man? Big
> > Foot's been spotted several times.
> >
> > What's the smartest thing a man can say? "My wife says..."
> >
> > Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners? So men can understand them.
> >
> > Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To
> >stop
> > the snoring before it starts.
>
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