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Re: Tracy in Calgary
From: Allan (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Thu Jun 17 21:31:14 1999
Dear Tracy,
my heart goes out to you and your husband for your tragic loss; how
terribly sad for you. you're in my prayers and I'll keep my fingers
crossed for you.
luv, Amy in Sault Ste. Marie, ON
Tracy wrote:
>
> Jenn,
>
> I miscarried in November '98(my 3rd anniversary) and I know how you feel.
> My angel would be named David.
> It is hard to go through loss, I found that it was really hard to come to
> grips that I didn't even know I was pregnant until I lost it. I was taking
> alot of meds at that time and I know that it was a contributing factor.
> Even though I was not ready for children and my husband and I have decided
> to wait (even though that may mean adoption) it was not any easier to face.
>
> You have all of our love going your way.
> Tracy in Calgary
>
> > Upon Making the Decision to Have an Ovary Removed
> >
> > To You, With All My Love:
> >
> > I've dreamed of That Moment.
> > At last we've been formerly introduced.
> > I know Your name.
> > I can't take my eyes off You.
> > I want to hold You; hug You.
> > It's the perfect moment----until
> > I awaken from The Dream.
> >
> > I suddenly realize You aren't here with me---
> > We never met.
> > We never touched.
> > We never hugged.
> > You never spoke to me.
> >
> > I don't understand---
> > It was so real!
> > What is keeping us apart?
> >
> > My heart desperately aches
> > When I think of You.
> > I need You.
> > You need me.
> >
> > I wish You could only begin to understand
> > Why we can't meet--
> >
> > Life has brought me a Great Pain.
> > It has been five years now and I am
> > Ready to try to get my life back without the Pain.
> >
> > I must do something that is so
> > Painful to think about, but---
> > It's my last option.
> >
> > It'll be my fault if we never meet---
> > I made the decision to have an ovary removed.
> > I want You to know that I love You
> > With all my heart.
> > I wish You could love me too.
> >
> > Very soon I will fall sound asleep.
> > I'll be in the hands of the Skilled One.
> > Don't worry;
> > He will take care of me.
> >
> > With a gentle, yet steady, hand
> > He'll guide the blade to make another wound.
> > That's it---there's no turning back.
> > Maybe we'll be given half a chance
> > To meet someday.
> >
> > I look around me and I want what others have:
> > I slip into The Dream.
> > I hear Your phantom cry.
> >
> > I race to help You--
> > To comfort You---
> > Instantly I can feel Your body close to mine.
> >
> > I can feel Your whole being, all dressed in pink,
> > Resting in my arms.
> > The motion of the rocking chair quickly
> > Puts You to sleep.
> > I watch You for a while.
> > Kelleigh, You are so perfect in every way.
> >
> > The Dream is over now,
> > But I know You will be there
> > The next time I want to hold You.
> >
> > For now I've lost something
> > I was never given.
> > And, if one day,
> > We should meet---
> > I'll have EVERYTHING I ever wanted----
> > I'll be Your MOM.
> >
> > this poem was written by Jenn Beaupre' 9/13/98
> >
>
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