ENDO Messages for February, 1999: Re: Doing Better-Was Good Intentions/Venting (Long)

Re: Doing Better-Was Good Intentions/Venting (Long)

From: anonymous@obgyn.net
Tue Feb 9 11:43:07 1999

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Reply: Danielle: "Re: Doing Better-Was Good Intentions/Venting (Long)"

> How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world
> does it take to do the dishes?
> *Both of them.
>
> Why did the man cross the road?
> *He heard the chicken was a slut.
>
> Why don't women blink during foreplay?
> *They don't have time.
>
> Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
> *They won't stop to ask directions.
>
> What do men and sperm have in common?
> *They both have a one in a million chance of becoming a human.
>
> How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
> *He buys two cases of beer.
>
> What is the difference between men and government bonds?
> *The bonds mature.
>
> Why are blonde jokes so short?
> **So men can remember them.**
>
> How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
> *We don't know; it has never happened.
>
> Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and
> good looking?
> *They all already have boyfriends.
>
> What do you call a woman who knows where here husband is every
> night?
> *A widow.
>
> When do you care for a man's company?
> *When he owns it.
>
> Why are married women heavier than single women?
> *Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
> Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
>
> How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
> *His hand caught fire.
>
> How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
> *Put the remote control between his toes.
>
> What did God say after creating man?
> * "I must be able to do better that that."
>
> What did God say after creating Eve?
> * "Practice makes perfect"
>
> How are men and parking spots alike?
> *Goods ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped
> or extremely small.
>
> What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in
> common?
> *They're married.
>
> Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
> God says: " So you would love her."
> "But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
> God says: "So she would love you."

Just thought on that note we could all use a good laugh!!

Next message: Danielle: "Re: Doing Better-Was Good Intentions/Venting (Long)-Tina"
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