ENDO Messages for August, 1998: Re: Confused and hurt

Re: Confused and hurt

From: Chandra (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Sun Aug 30 08:26:41 1998

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Kelly:

There are some good men out there that do not think of Endo as an obstacle in a relationship. As for your ex-boyfriend...honey, I know it's hard, but let it go. At least now you know what the driving force was in your relationship, and where he stood. It was much better for you to find out now, than further down the road when the break-up could be even more painful.

Everyone needs that feeling of love, acceptance, emotional comfort, etc. Do not let that be your primary goal. Concentrate on healing the pains of your heart and Endo, the romance will come later when you least expect it.

Chandra Manassas, VA mrscmartin@hotmail.com

----Original Message Follows---- Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1998 13:00:20 -0500 Reply-To: anonymous@obgyn.net From: "Heather" <anonymous@obgyn.net> To: Multiple recipients of list <anonymous@obgyn.net> Subject: Re: Confused and hurt

>
>Hi, my name is Kelly and I'm 19. Was diagnosed with endo of May this
>year. I was with my fiancee for 3 and a half years, then last month he
>decided he didn't love me anymore. I believe he found someone else who
>could have children and intercourse with him. It just really hurts,
now >I'm in the dating scene, which is so hard. I just don't now how to
feel >anymore. How do you get over someone you've been with for so long. I
>can't seem to forget him, but he's out parting every night and dating
>all these girls. My mom keeps telling me to not worry, he was no good
>anyway. Which he wasen't, now that I'm not with him I relieze how bad
>he treated me. But that still dosen't fix my broken heart. I guess
>what my question is, are thereany nice guys out there who dosen't
matter >if you have endo?
>
>Thanks for listening!!!
>
>Kelly
>
>>
>>Lori and Di:
>>
>>Just last night, I felt the way you describe about your mates. My
>>husband is also quite understanding when we can't do things or be
>>intimate when we may want to because I am hurting. He says there are
>>more things to life and we'll get to them when we do. In the back of
my >>head, I wonder if he'll ever leave me because it might get to him,
but, >>I think it is insecurity and desire to not want to be a burden on my
>>part. I can turn inward when I feel bad or tired of going through the
>>ordeal any more, but I try to remember that things could be worse.
It's >>too bad that intercourse, which is supposed to be a fantastic thing,
>can
>>be painful for me and adds to the mental feelings of insecurity,
>>abnormality and unreliability, like last night when I cried because of
>>the pain on my left side. Oh, well, I thought I'd share the blessing
of >>having a supportive mate; I hope it will always last (our first
>>anniversary is November 1).
>>
>>Best wishes,
>>
>>Susan
>>

kelly,

a good man is hard to find, that's for sure. but when the love is real, i think everything else works out. my fiance (we've been together almost two years) is sexually hyper-active; but he is very understanding that sometimes i just can't. that kind of understanding is not common, but it does exist. you'll find it.

i think the biggest thing i've had to deal with is forgiving myself, and valuing myself, even though i'm "abnormal". that has helped immeasurably. Just don't blame yourself for the piggish way he's acted. Remember the fact that guys at that age have their heads you know where, and very rarely recognize a good thing when they see it. I know that you're in a terrible spot right now, but this, too, shall pass. Hang in there and remember that you ARE beautiful and valuable.

heather

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