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Re: Vaginal Ultrasound for a Virgin
From: anonymous (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Thu Oct 23 11:43:24 2008
This is a disgrace that they should treat you like this. There are
wands for paediatric gynaecology which are of course a lot smaller -
insist on one of these which will cause less discomfort. Many people
with endo have problems, not just virgins and they need a smaller probe.
I am sorry for what you have been through. You need to find someone
more understanding.
At Wed, 22 Oct 2008, bren wrote:
>
>Hi "Z",
>First of all, good for you for you choice in "saving" yourself for that
>special someone. If your obgyn does not respect this or is not treating
>you the way a "doctor" should be, I would look into finding another
>obgyn until you find one who respects you and treats you well. As for
>the ultrasound, I only ended up having the "transvaginal" u/s because my
>bladder was not full enough. Initially I was supposed to just have a
>regular pelvic ultrasound in which the tech just puts the "wet gunk"
>onto your pelvis and rubs the "thingy" (sorry I don't know what it's
>called) on top of your pelvis. My instructions stated that I drink
>certain amount of water 2 hours before the u/s so that by the time of
>the appt. the bladder is full. However, I guess I didn't drink enough
>and the tech said that my bladder wasn't full enough after trying the
>ultrasound on top of my pelvis, so then she had to go in vaginally w/
>that "stick"..lol..sorry about my vocabulary...You should ask about
>this...but if you do have this u/s, make sure you drink A LOT of water 2
>hours before (right before or even an hour before will not work)...You
>HAVE TO have a full bladder or else the tech won't be able to proceed w/
>the u/s except for the vaginal way. Also, it's normal to have some pain
>or discomfort w/ anything going up your cervix, but "excruciating" pain
>where you are in or near tears is not normal...Also, endometriosis
>usually cannot be diagnosed through an ultrasound...even an MRI is not a
>good tool for diagnosing endometriosis. The only way to get a 100%
>diagnosis is by laparscopy, which is determined by your doctor once he
>suspects endometriosis by a pelvic exam, your medical history, and
>symptoms and @ times after trying med. treatments such as birth
>control, etc once endometriosis is suspected. As for me, the ultrasound
>and MRI only detected a retroverted (tilted) uterus & some free fluid in
>my cul de sac and didn't even detect the adhesions & scar tissue I had.
>Also, even after getting a 2nd opinion & had a pelvic exam along w/ the
>rectal-vaginal exam, I was "unofficially" diagnosed w/ endometriosis
>because of a lot of tenderness and nodules that were felt posterior my
>uterus. My doctor also went by my medical history and symptoms. He was
>going to initially have me on Lupron & then last minute changed his mind
>and had me start a higher dose of Yasmin BC, which I couldn't handle b/c
>of the side effects. Then he had me switch to progesterone only BC 5mg,
>which didn't give me any noticeable neg. side effects and also decided
>that it would be best to schedule a laparoscopy surgery to check for
>endo. Well, hope this helps and remember, if u are not happy w/ your
>obgyn or any dr. in that matter, I really think you should find a new
>one until you are happy. He/she should not be making you feel
>uncomfortable or worse than you already are feeling. Sorry for such a
>traumatic experience(s). Hope things get better. Take care & let me
>know if you have any questions & keep posted of any news. =) Wishing
>you luck & everyone better & pain free days.*** Sincerely, Bren-
>At Wed, 22 Oct 2008, Z wrote:
>>
>>My first transvaginal ultrasound happened this morning and it was a
>>traumatic experience, in the string of many unpleasant OBGYN experiences
>>that I've had as a virgin. I'm treated with less kindness and less
>>respect because of my choice, rather than more consideration and
>>gentleness. I have to get this exam in order to diagnose endometriosis.
>>When the technician pulled out the wand, a good twelve inches long and
>>over an inch wide, I knew I was in trouble. It looked more like a
>>dildo, with a flat head, and I knew we weren't going to get anywhere.
>>
>>She asked me if I would like to insert it, but since I had no idea what
>>to expect, I said she knew what she was doing, it would be best if she
>>did it. So she inserted, and only got it an inch or two in, and started
>>twisting it. The pain was excruciating, as if she was grinding up the
>>wall of my vagina. I was in tears. Finally she took it out and led me
>>out, and said we hadn't even been able to do the exam. She didn't even
>>look me in the eye.
>>
>>I dressed automatically, totally shocked, feeling humiliated, like a
>>failure, like I had been violated. I felt I'd blown my last chance at
>>having a fair diagnosis, and was met with no warmth or kindness after
>>this experience. I feel dejected, scared. I wasn't prepared for this.
>>Now I don't know what options I have. Are there ultrasound machines for
>>virgins like me, who are in their thirties (I'm 31) and can't take that
>>big probe? Was that machine old, are there more modern ones?
>>
>>At Fri, 8 Jun 2007, D wrote:
>>>
>>>Yes - there are guys out there who can be understanding and even helpful
>>>dealing with endo! I got together with my boyfriend just weeks after my
>>>pain started a couple years ago, and although when we first got together
>>>sex wasn't too painful yet, it was only a few months until it started to
>>>become a problem. Of course, endo is a progressive disease, and I've
>>>been waiting for my insurance to change so I can have a lap with a
>>>specialist. In the meantime, the pain including with sex has just
>>>gotten worse and worse. We've had sex once in the past 4 months, and
>>>probably once in the 4 months before that, and I initiated it both times
>>>- he won't make "demands" on me because he doesn't want to hurt me. He's
>>>never complained, not once - and I know he's got to miss it!
>>>
>>>So YES! You can find man who will want to be with you, no matter what!
>>>And really, you shouldn't ever settle for anything less than that. There
>>>is NOTHING wrong with being a virgin - I lost my virginity when I was
>>>16, and have often wished I didn't do it so early - I didn't love him,
>>>and it wasn't like the sex was any good anyway! All I did was set myself
>>>up for more meaningless encounters I rather regret. It's pretty easy
>>>for me to imagine that those who talk virginity down may have some
>>>regrets about how they lost their own...
>>>
>>>About the pain - I doubt you have a low pain tolerance because endo can
>>>be excruciatingly painful! You don't say here is you are having other
>>>problems with pain, but just in case, this is site has a lot of info
>>>about pain and pain management:
>>>http://www.painfoundation.org
>>>
>>>When you are with a partner you love and trust who will work through it
>>>with you, it will be a lot easier - and a LOT more fun than an
>>>ultrasound!
>>>
>>>At Fri, 8 Jun 2007, anonymous wrote:
>>>>
>>>>Hi Nisi
>>>>Your not the only one with these fears. A couple months back I needed a
>>>>transvaginal ultrasound and it was painful and we couldn't do it. I'm
>>>>sure the large endometrioma I had didn't help the situation at all.
>>>>I'm also a virgin(26)iop and have been petrified at the thought of
>>>>loosing my virginity. I think I have a very low pain tolerance. I hate
>>>>to admit it but I've never even had a pelvic exam. This is not usually
>>>>something I really talk about at all.
>>>>I'm glad someone brought this topic up.
>>>> At Fri, 8 Jun 2007, Nisi wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>I stumbled on this topic today. Wow it is so comforting to hear someone
>>>>>else has this same fear. Although I wish we didn't. Every time I have
>>>>>a vaginal ultrasound the pain is HORRIBLE. It makes me feel that my
>>>>>body is not meant to be sexual because I can't imagine feeling anything
>>>>>but pain "down there." The responses to "wait for the right guy" is
>>>>>encouraging. I hope he's out there. In this society there is so much
>>>>>stigma surrounding virginity after a certain age, couple that with the
>>>>>pain of endo and then I just get depressed. I keep wondering how the
>>>>>first time will be in comparison to the ultrasound. I'm really glad to
>>>>>read the responses on here.
>>>>>
>>>>>At Sat, 5 May 2007, Eve wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>>I agree with Jessica and the pap. It has always hurt me. I have found
>>>>>>that the worse my endo gets, the worse the pap feels (or maybe my new
>>>>>>doc is a little rough).
>>>>>>My last Vaginal Ultrasound hurt too! The tech was looking for endo cyst.
>>>>>>I thought is was normal for it to hurt cause my endo was so bad. Maybe
>>>>>>I'm wrong.
>>>>>>Don't worry about the sex for now. Like the girls have said, you
>>>>>>definitely need to wait for the right guy. You need someone who will be
>>>>>>patient and understanding.
>>>>>>Eve
>>>>>>
>>>>>>At Sat, 5 May 2007, Jessica wrote:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>The Vaginal ultrasound should not have hurt, yes a little uncomfortable
>>>>>>>but not hurt, and like kristy said I think its normal procedure for the
>>>>>>>tech to let you insert the probe. The pain you felt is not normal. I
>>>>>>>think you should def talk to your gyno to get to the bottem of things.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Now onto sex and paps. I lost my virginty at 17. I remember it hurting
>>>>>>>so bad my hands and feet went numb lol. Little did I know that I had
>>>>>>>endo at the time and my boyfriend was more "well endowed" than most. Sex
>>>>>>>hurts a lot less now but thats because there are positions and diff
>>>>>>>techniques you can use if you do find yourself in pain(We can get
>>>>>>>further into that when the time comes if you like)
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>As for pap smears. My first was def uncomfortable and hurt slightly.
>>>>>>>This was performed by my GP. when I started getting endo symptoms and
>>>>>>>saw a real gyno they started getting worse. Maybe its all in my head or
>>>>>>>maybe the dr.s performing them are trying to see how bad my pain
>>>>>>>actually is. I dont know if I agree with Kristy when she says they
>>>>>>>shouldnt hurt at anytime because mine do. That could just be me though
>>>>>>>because they prob are not ment to hurt and like she said if they do tell
>>>>>>>them to stop. Sex, paps, and U.S. are diffrent for everyone. Those
>>>>>>>are my opinions. I also think if you wait and have sex with someone you
>>>>>>>are completley comfortable with the pain will be minimal and less akward
>>>>>>>to tell him to slow down or stop if there is pain : ) Dont be scared
>>>>>>>about your first time everyone goes through it with the same fears
>>>>>>>Jess
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>At Sat, 5 May 2007, Kristy wrote:
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>You are still a virgin hun, even though you had a transvaginal
>>>>>>>>ultrasound. What you felt with pain there was the breaking of the
>>>>>>>>hymen. The hymen can break because of a fall, or as in my case a pelvic
>>>>>>>>exam and pap smear at age 18 when the dr I had at the time used a
>>>>>>>>regular sized speculum to do it. We didn't know then what we know now
>>>>>>>>that there are speculums designed for doing exams on virgin women.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>A virgin in the proper sense of the term is a woman who has never had
>>>>>>>>sex although I know the word means different things in different
>>>>>>>>cultures. But in this sense of the word you are still a virgin.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>I am a 35 year old virgin and I have gotten transvaginal sonograms on a
>>>>>>>>number of occasions. When I have had them done in the dr's office the
>>>>>>>>tech inserts the probe but knows how far she can go so that it doesn't
>>>>>>>>hurt so much as far as insertion and it actually didn't hurt.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>When I had to have an ultrasound on Wed of both the abdominal and
>>>>>>>>vaginal kind the tech handed the probe to me so that I could insert it
>>>>>>>>myself.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>A pap smear should not be hurting at any time. If it does that means
>>>>>>>>that either one is tense (because of nerves at getting it done so they
>>>>>>>>need to relax), the dr is too rough (you can tell them to stop) or there
>>>>>>>>is something wrong such as an infection.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>The pap smear is a very simple test to do. They take a special brush to
>>>>>>>>get some of the cells from the cervix to send off to a lab for analysis.
>>>>>>>>The test only takes a few minutes to do. There may be a bit of bleeding
>>>>>>>>for two days afterward but this is normal because the brush has
>>>>>>>>irritated the cervix a bit.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>But as I said a pap smear and even a pelvic exam should not hurt but if
>>>>>>>>they do it is for the reasons I gave above. I'm sorry you were
>>>>>>>>traumatized by this experience but what you felt was your hymen (the
>>>>>>>>thin layer of skin that is around the vaginal opening) break. You may
>>>>>>>>notice a bit of bleeding from this too and that is normal.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>--
>>>>>>>>=====
>>>>>>>>Kristy :)
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>http://www.geocities.com/sokokl/Kristysstory.html
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>--
>>>>>Nisi
>>>>>
>>>--
>>>Find an endo specialist in the ERC's EndoDocs group:
>>>http://groups.yahoo.com/group/EndoDocs/
>>>
>>>Try an excellent endo support group:
>>>http://groups.yahoo.com/group/erc/
>>>
>>>Info on pain management:
>>>http://www.painfoundation.org/
>>>
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