ENDO Messages for September, 2008: Re: Harassed at work because of health

Re: Harassed at work because of health

From: anonymous (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Mon Sep 29 17:13:48 2008

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Reply: Kathy: "Re: Harassed at work because of health"

Kathy,

I am actually having the same problem. However, I have hardly missed any time from work at all. I make numerous trips to the ER (I am really racking up bills that I just cannot pay) just so that I do not have to miss work & deal with the crap & the worry that I will be fired. This is really bad. I went to HR at my job a few days ago & then my boss called me in & basically started asking me why I could not finish my work. I missed an hour or so a few weeks ago to go to the pain doctor because the pain is just killing me. I then got an infection & had to go to the Urologist for that. He is following up with a Cystoscopy in approx 1 week. I then went to the doctor a few weeks ago & missed another hour or so for a pelvic infection that I had. I then missed more time to go to the Gastro doctor for appts & tests to see what was going on with my stomach (he could not find out what the problem was). It just seems like one thing after the other. And the FATIGUE is horrible. I sometimes get so bad that I am almost narcoleptic. I just fall asleep at the wheel, while sitting at my computer, while eating at home, etc.

I do stay behind (& I have told them this numerous times) because I do have one of the hardest jobs (funny isn't it to have the hardest job & to be so sick. lol.). I also had to fill out FMLA because I gotten written up over missing too much time from work for doctor's appointments & such. I have not even had a vacation from work in over 3 years (because all my PTO time is used for sick leave & doctor's appt.s & procedures, etc.). Now I am on my tippy toes at work. I was just crying today at work worrying that I am going to get fired.

I am married but it takes both our incomes to pay bills & such (we are barely making ends meet right now). I am now 35 years old & also want to desperately have a child. I have had 2 surgeries for Endometriosis (& set up to have another one here soon), Fibromyalgia, (they think I might have possibly either Interstitial Cystitis or Endo in my bladder---I am having a Cystoscopy tomorrow to find out) & I have 4 bad discs in my back, along with quite a few other ailments.

I want a child so bad & I just do not think anyone understands. I constantly have coworkers telling me to just get a hysterectomy (of course a hysterectomy is not going to get rid of all this---especially when they keep finding my Endo on my bladder, bowel, etc.). And why on earth would I get a hysterectomy when I want a child so bad. Then, if I get fired I will not have insurance to keep going to the doctor (& go to my coming up surgery) so that I can get better to be able to have a child. It is so horrible.

Sometimes I hate even living. It seems so hard sometimes. I really think others just do not understand what we go through.

I am SOOO worried about getting fired. I have been at my job now almost 4 years & I really do not want to change jobs. I am just not like that. I like to stick with things. And, if I do try to get another job then I have to worry about pre-existing & not being covered for all these problems.

Being a female just really sucks sometimes.

What really gets me is the fact when I was younger (I had problems then but managed) I was able to work 7 days a week (even work overtime time & time again), work holidays, also go to college full time & not have a problem at all. I never missed a day of work.

Now, I barely get out of bed each day to go to work. And, the funny thing is that I really like working. I really wish that I could work at home or go back to school & get a degree to get another job but I just can't afford it. My husband & I have not even been able to have a television, phone, cell phone or computer now for over a year. The medical bills (& I am trying to eat right---when we get groceries it cost so much for all the healthy nutritious food----I sometimes have to delay paying electric & mortgage just to eat good & I cannot keep doing this---it really does not help that much either) are horrible. Even though I have insurance I owe so many doctors SOOO much money that I cannot pay & it bothers me to have that hanging on my shoulders.

I am just rambling here. I better go before I write a book. Please know that I REALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH. I THINK I MIGHT REALLY NEED TO SEE A PSYCHIATRIST OR SOMETHING BECAUSE THE STRESS IS ABOUT TO KILL ME.

I cannot offer any advice because I am going through the same thing & do not know what to do either.

Take care of yourself!! Lots of hugs!!!

At Fri, 26 Sep 2008, anonymous wrote: >
>I would file a complaint with the EEOC equal employment opportunity
>center? I think is what it stands for. I think the web address is
>http://www.eeoc.gov Your boss has no right to pressure you into making rash
>decisions about your health or to "threaten" you regarding your health.
>Deffinately contact the EEOC and see if they can help you. Many people
>have sued their employers for this very same issue and won. They can
>not descriminate against you because you have health issues. Im not
>sure what type of work you do but if its customer service would you be
>able to work from home for that company? I would go ahead and file for
>social security disability as well especially with you having to miss
>work because of your health. It can take years to get approved so go
>ahead and apply now.
>
>As far as FMLA your only allowed 12 weeks of FMLA leave a year. So yes
>it does run out. Unfortunately!
>
>Im sorry your having to deal with a crappy work environment. I would
>also seek counseling to help you deal with everything. It will also
>help with the eeoc case especially if work is causing you undue stress,
>plus dealing with two very debilitating illnesses is hard on your
>emotions as well! Many ((HUGS)) and I hope your able to either find a
>new job or have a better work environment with the one your in now!
>Niki
>
>At Fri, 26 Sep 2008, anonymous wrote:
>>
>>Just do the best that you can. If you can stay at work, it is
>>definitely better. I was let go because of my illness and absence, and
>>my FMLA ran out. I was part of a union and it did nothing for me. This
>>disease really stinks. See if you can work from home perhaps run your
>>own business? I wish I had more to offer you in way of suggestions.
>>Please take care. I am going to get a hysterectomy myself - perhaps
>>this is not such a bad suggestion?
>>
>>Wishing you pain free days.
>>
>>Mel
>>At Fri, 26 Sep 2008, Kathy wrote:
>>>
>>>Hello all,
>>>
>>>I'm currently on an Intermittent FMLA leave from work. This was
>>>originally due to my endo. I was diagnosed a couple of weeks ago with
>>>Fibromyalgia, which explained even more why I have been feeling so
>>>miserable and like my entire body is breaking on me. On average, I miss
>>>about a day a week of work due to pain from one or the other (sometimes
>>>both). I try very hard to go in as I'm not married and living on my own
>>>so if I don't pay my bills, I'll be living in a box on the corner, lol.
>>>However, this week has been horrendous and I have missed 3 days because
>>>of it. My problem is this. I feel like I'm being a little...harassed
>>>at work because of this. I'm not sure if harassed is the right word,
>>>but that's what it feels like. I'm a quiet person at work and I try to
>>>always keep a smile on my face and be friendly to people. I think it's
>>>for this reason that people doubt me or don't believe me. But I work in
>>>customer service, so I basically HAVE to be that way. Every time I'm
>>>out for more then a day at a time, my supervisor calls me in to her
>>>office to "talk" about what I'm going to do "about my health". She
>>>keeps telling me I need to "do something" but I keep explaining to her
>>>that realistically, there's nothing that CAN be done...it's not like
>>>they can just do something and I'm all fixed. Lately she's really been
>>>talking about how I need to get a hysterectomy if they can't do
>>>anything. I'm only 28 years old and I have no kids. I'm not sure if I
>>>want kids (I always have, but have prepared myself in case I can't have
>>>them). But I am definitely not ready to just cut everything out and say
>>>"Oh well, guess no kids for me"...especially when a hysterectomy doesn't
>>>always get rid of endo. She also doesn't understand the severity of my
>>>Fibromyalgia and told me my docotr must be a "quack". She also keeps
>>>telling me I need to "figure this out" because when my FMLA runs out, I
>>>can't go on it again, which doesn't seem right to me. Also, the girls
>>>at work are constantly making loud comments about how I won't be able to
>>>have kids...this is usually after I've missed a day at work and they're
>>>mad about it (I guess). Between my health and this other mess at work,
>>>I am miserable. Does anyone have any suggestions? My HR department is
>>>pointless and doesn't do anything to help anyone. Not to mention, my
>>>supervisors a little "opinionated and loud", so I'm not really good at
>>>approaching her. I would love to work from home so I can deal with
>>>this, but most likely they'll come up with a reason I can't.
>>>
>>>Any suggestions??? PLEASE help...so miserable...

Next message: SFMom: "Hot all the time"
Previous message: Caitlin: "Re: Depo Provera and Endometriosis"
In reply to: anonymous: "Re: Harassed at work because of health"
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Reply: Kathy: "Re: Harassed at work because of health"

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