Re: When should I try getting pregnant? - To Cassie
From: Ally (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Mon Jul 28 14:26:24 2008
Such a hard decision to make, Cassie. My heart goes out to you. I can
understand why you would want to start now so that you have no regrets.
IMO, the most important thing is that you decide to have kids because
you are both ready for them and not because you feel pressured because
of endo. It just makes me sick what this disease does to people and
their lives. Nothing about this is fair!
Good luck, hun. I hope that you can find peace with whatever decision
you and your partner make. Trying to conceive can be a really tough
journey and I pray that you and your partner are able to handle whatever
comes your way.
--
Ally
At Mon, 28 Jul 2008, Cassie wrote:
>
>Hi All
>
>Would you believe I debated for several weeks about putting my post on
>or not due to the horrible stuff that has been happening on this site of
>late. But I was satisfied it had settled done enough to feel safe
>posting about something that is close to my heart. Out of all the endo
>sites I use I find this one the most user friendly (haha) unfortunately
>nor all of its users are so friendly. I am sorry I have opened up a can
>of worms about morals again!
>
>I would like to say a huge thanks to Ally and Maura for their supportive
>and genuine replies. I thoughts and best wishes are with you as you try
>to conceive I really hope it goes well for you both.
>
>Ally to answer your question my partner knows we have a more limited
>time frame to have children than other couples but I do not think
>realises just how difficult conception can be for some endo sufferers
>(part of the reason I have posted this so I can become more educated and
>to help him understand the difficulities). He will be a fantastic Dad
>and I am sure he would do fine if the opportunity came up sooner than
>expected. However, I think he is hoping we have a little more time and
>his is biggest concern is being able to support us adequately on one
>wage. Naturally he wants us to be set up to give our children the best
>possible opportunities in life.
>
>I would still appreciate any other responses to my original post.
>
>Take Care everyone.
>Cassie
>
>At Sun, 27 Jul 2008, anonymous wrote:
>>
>>You should be concerned for the baby's future by making sure you are
>>legally married to the father of the baby. It's not about finances in
>>one sense, and everything about them in another. It's clear you don't
>>know what's involved with a baby.
>>
>>You do not need to do in vitro. My goodness why do you think you have
>>to go there first? Why not look into endo excision? That's less
>>expensive, and if you have endo, very likely to work. You're not that
>>young, but your attitude towards money and life is very careless.
>>
>>It's not about ''close-minded people'' it's about legality. If you grow
>>up, you'll find that those things matter. And if you are ever fortunate
>>enough to have children, if your maternal instinct ever kicks in, you
>>will have wished you did more to protect the child - and not be so
>>worried about your own desires. You have no idea what can happen with
>>men, either - you owe it to any children to consider them and not think
>>only of your own lack of purpose.
>>
>>At Sun, 27 Jul 2008, Maura wrote:
>>>
>>>Hi Cassie! I am also 25 with much of the same problems as you. I have
>>>been trying to concieve with my now husband of a year for four years and
>>>have been unsuccessful. (not being married did not stop us from trying
>>>for 3 years and i am from the US! lol) Don't wait. Finances will fall
>>>in to place. maybe even think about downsizing...there are ways. I
>>>have still not finished school because of so many medical leaves but my
>>>husband and family have supported me and backed me up the whole way. We
>>>are getting ready to tackle the huge financial disposition of in vitro.
>>>Our savings may be drained completely after we are through but hopefully
>>>not with out the greatest reward of all, a baby. I just think its kinda
>>>funny looking back how careful i was with sexual encounters because the
>>>thought of an opps was unbearable....now my mother and i joke about what
>>>a blessing that opps would have been had it happened. Dont let anyone
>>>make you feel ashamed of wanting to have a baby with someone you love
>>>even if the label of marriage isnt there yet. I only saught that label
>>>for my relationship to lighten the gossip that the close minded and
>>>intolerable people surrounding my family were generating. And I assure
>>>you it was only for my family because I could really care less what they
>>>would have said about me! So I say go for it now...which I tell all of
>>>my girlfriends all of the time....because you just never know when the
>>>option can be taken away from you! Lots of Luck!
>>>
>>>At Sun, 27 Jul 2008, anonymous2 wrote:
>>>>
>>>>Who are you, and why are you always putting people down and judging
>>>>them??? She is not on here asking for your relationship advice. She is
>>>>looking for advice about getting pregnant.
>>>>
>>>>At Sun, 27 Jul 2008, anonymous wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>Not related to you personally, but what happens if the guy meets someone
>>>>>else? or the woman?
>>>>>
>>>>>At Sun, 27 Jul 2008, Cassie wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Hi
>>>>>>
>>>>>>No I am not in the US. I live in New Zealand. Most of us do not tend
>>>>>>to get married young over here and people are often together several
>>>>>>years first. We were together while still at University and have been
>>>>>>getting our careers sorted before getting married.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>At Sun, 27 Jul 2008, anonymous wrote:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Are you in the US? If you've been with someone so long, why wait to get
>>>>>>>married?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Lots of people get married within 6 months.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>At Sat, 26 Jul 2008, Cassie wrote:
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>Hi All
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>I have other posts on here so some of you will know some details of my
>>>>>>>>endo. I am 25 had a major surgery last year to remove extensive stage
>>>>>>>>IV endo from almost everywhere (including my diaphragm) which included a
>>>>>>>>5 inch bowel resection. I recovered really well from the operation and
>>>>>>>>have had relief but would not say things are perfect. I still
>>>>>>>>experience variable symptoms.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>At this stage there has been no endo develop on my tubes and only one
>>>>>>>>bit on my right ovary that my surgeon easily excised. So no major
>>>>>>>>reproductive damage. I was fitted when a Mirena IUCD coil during
>>>>>>>>surgery to give me the best chance of supressing the endometriosis
>>>>>>>>growth to preserve fertility while also providing contraception.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>However I am really scared that the longer i wait to have children the
>>>>>>>>more I am compromising my chances. I have read so many horror stories
>>>>>>>>how when people have decided to get pregnant it has taken years.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>My partner and i have been together nearly 5 years and are looking to
>>>>>>>>get engaged soon and married within 2 years. So ideally we both want
>>>>>>>>this to happen before we have children. We both want children and
>>>>>>>>preferably our own but are open to other options if it is not a
>>>>>>>>possibility. We are in good jobs but have a big mortgage and would like
>>>>>>>>to be a little more setup before starting a family and we are young. But
>>>>>>>>is there ever a right time?
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>I feel ready to be a Mum and it is on my mind a lot. Especially as I
>>>>>>>>have so many workmates who have gotten pregnent and had babies in the
>>>>>>>>last couple of years.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>I would appreciate if anyone can give me advice or stories about what
>>>>>>>>you have experienced and possibly answer the following.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>* Will i need to have another operation before trying to conceive (to
>>>>>>>>get rid of any new endo)?
>>>>>>>>* Once having an lap is it true that fertility can be increased in the
>>>>>>>>few motnhs following?
>>>>>>>>* Has anyone found it easy to get pregnant?
>>>>>>>>* Should I get on with it rather than risking my chances?
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>Any advise greatly apprecaited!
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>Thanks for taking the time to read.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>I hope you are all full of energy today!
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>Thanks
>>>>>>>>Cassie
>>>>
>>>>--
>>>>Wen
>>>>
>>>--
>>>Maura
>>>25 and married
>>>Severe Endo (5 surgeries so far)
>>>Chronic Pelvic/Back Pain
>>>right ovary removed...
>>>
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