Re: MY HUSBAND IS AN A-HOLE!!!! (Hurt my feelings really bad)
From: anonymous (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Sat May 10 16:54:18 2008
This is to anyone who has ever been hit by their spouse -
Your life is at risk. Get out as fast as you can!! Do not become
another statistic. Give your children the best gift you can - a Mom
that is ALIVE to see them graduate high school and perhaps get married
too someday.
Go to a shelter if you have to - just get out and FAST. This is not a
joke. My prayers are with you.
At Fri, 9 May 2008, anonymous@obgyn.net wrote:
>
>At Sun, 19 Feb 2006, Vanessa wrote:
>>
>>You don't ever have to put up with any guy treating you like that. I
>>just got out of a similar type of relationship where I kept justifying
>>his bad behaviour because he had emotional issues. It doesn't matter
>>what emotional issues he has... he has no right and no excuse for
>>treating you like that! Men like this use every excuse in the book to
>>give themselves permission to treat you like shit. I bet he's told you
>>a million reasons why it was your fault too. My recent ex always seemed
>>so sympathetic with my condition and I thought he really understood but
>>then one night he tried to tell me I could think my endo issues away and
>>when I told him that I cannot he was livid. Like Jeckel and Hyde. He
>>told me he was sick of me and my bullshit. He told me no one could ever
>>live with someone like me (eventhough I did everything for him and his
>>kids, sick or not, while he did nothing for me). He told me I was
>>impossible to live with cause I won't accept the fact that I can make
>>myself better, that I think I am so perfect cause I won't accept that
>>it's all in my head. This coming from a guy who once said he doesn't
>>understand how men could have been so insensitive to me and my issue in
>>the past. These men are fine until your disease and suffering affects
>>their comfortable life. He started getting rude and ignorant once I
>>became sick for a bit and couldn't do all the things I use to be able to
>>do for and with him. He's called me the 'C' word, bitch, fat, etc. This
>>all happened so gradually and he made me believe that it was my fault
>>that he said those things cause I know how he is so I shouldn't provoke
>>him by having my own opinion or whatever he thought I was doing to
>>provoke him. He was like your husband and was fine when we weren't
>>argueing. Eventually he just starting arguements to give himself
>>permission to take his anger out on me. If your husband has issues and
>>he is taking them out on you...IT'S NOT OK. Our last arguement ended up
>>with him giving himself permission to lay his hands on me. I couldn't
>>move for 2 days he hurt me so bad. He always took the most intimate
>>things that I told him about my insecurities and agressively used them
>>against me in arguements.
>>
>>I would much rather live alone and happy with myself than with a man who
>>has no idea what the real meaning of love is... With a man who gives
>>himself permission to put me down and rip my heart out like it's no big
>>deal. He does not deserve you. I am so sorry if this seems harsh but
>>things are only going to get worse. By staying with him you are telling
>>him it's ok to treat you like that. You words probably tell him it's
>>not ok but your actions (staying and forgiving) are telling him it is
>>ok. You can't help this man by staying with him because he will suck
>>the life out of you and he won't stop until he's sick of what he's made
>>you into. Then he'll either cheat, leave or beat you up. None of these
>>actions are worth it.
>>
>>I have realized that I didn't love my ex. I loved who he pretended to
>>be at first, who he said he was trying to be, and who he said he would
>>be in the future. I actually hated the real him for a while but I was
>>fooling myself into thinking he was the man I was hoping he would be
>>behind his issues and anger... but he was not that guy. He was never
>>that guy. He's just a mean, angry guy who uses every excuse in the book
>>to blame others for his problems and take it out on those who would put
>>up with it. He was a user and an abuser.
>>
>>Please think long and hard about what he's giving himself permission to
>>do to your spirit. He may apologize sometimes but when he does it again
>>you have to know the apology was a fake. He was just saying what you
>>want to hear. You need love and support. Stress only will make you
>>worse. You will never get better with an a-hole like that working
>>against your best interests.
>>
>>Good luck and I hope you find the strength to do what's best for
>>yourself. When I read your post it was like I was reading my own story.
>>I hope yours doesn't end like mine.
>>Vanessa
>>
>>At Sun, 19 Feb 2006, Kristina wrote:
>>>
>>>I'll try to keep this short, because I know I could type all day about
>>>it...so here it goes.
>>>
>>>My husband and I get along great as best friends, but when it comes to
>>>emotional support he is sorely lacking. So, when I'm down, he's not the
>>>person to talk to. Last night he could tell something was wrong, but I
>>>told him it was nothing I really wanted to talk about (in a pleasant
>>>way). He basically got mad and gave me the cold shoulder the rest of
>>>the night. So, I slept on the couch, but as I was going to bed I said
>>>something about how I can't talk to him about my problems because he
>>>tend to make me feel like he doesn't care...He made some kind of hurtful
>>>smart-ass remark and I went to bed without responding to it. (usually I
>>>will fight with him for hours, and keep us both up all night if he says
>>>something mean).
>>>
>>>This morning, he acts as if everything is fine. I said "Don't talk to
>>>me" and started to tear up. I always have bad nightmares when I go to
>>>bed with stuff on my mind, so I wake up upset and he wakes up all happy
>>>and fine. So, he didn't talk to me for a while. He got ready for work
>>>early and as he was about to leave (this was about 45 minutes after I
>>>woke up) and I ask if he is leaving early. I ask why, he says "Because
>>>you have been yelling at me all night and all f*ing day" I'm like, are
>>>you crazy. I wouldn't talk to you. I said one sentence before bed and
>>>one sentence today, how is that yelling at you? I've only been awake for
>>>45 minutes!
>>>
>>>He says "SHUT UP, YOU'RE F*ING CRAZY WITH YOUR FAKE PAIN, COMPLAINING
>>>ALL THE TIME WITH A PROBLEM THAT NO ONE CAN FIND AN ANSWER TO!"
>>>
>>>I won't say where it went from there, but I can say it wasn't nice. I
>>>can't believe the one person that is supposed to be there for me can say
>>>such hurtful things. He really knows how tot kick me when I'm down.
>>>Whenever I tell him something I worry about, he does this. One time I
>>>told him I felt bad that I don't make much money, so later that week he
>>>started talking about how my job was pathetic. Another time I told him
>>>I was afraid nobodyy else would ever want me because I have irritable
>>>bowel, and I have to go to the bathroom a lot....so that was the next
>>>thing he used against me. I told him I felt stupid once in a fight, so
>>>he says "well, you're stupid"
>>>
>>>He says these things whenever we are fighting, he never says them any
>>>other time, and I know I shouldn't take it from him, but at the same
>>>time I know he has his own emotional problems that cause him to attack
>>>me in such a way. I just don't know what to do...my feelings are hurt
>>>beyond belief.
>
>my husband is exactly the same. He is such a a hole. he always twists
>things and always makes it look as if its my fault. He is so full of
>shit he thinks he is always right and always says im a stupid wife who
>cant do anything. I look after our two kids i do all the cleaning and
>cleaning for him and he always puts me down. I 6 years of marriage he
>has never brought me a birthday present or a christmas present until i
>ask him why he starts shouting at me and says i dont know what you would
>like. Hes been a driving instructor for 3 years and he wont even give
>me driving lessons because i wont pay him, how can i pay him if i havent
>got any money. I hate having sex with him i always feel used because he
>is always nice to me just to have sex then afterwards he goes back to
>his horrible self. He always says something realley nasty which realley
>hurts me and when i stop speaking to him he says that i am creating an
>arguement. He has been violent with me in the past and i have stayed
>with him because of our two children i love them to bits and even though
>i hate him so much my kids love him. i dont know what to do i realley
>want to divorce him but i am trying to do what is best for my children.
>I am crying every night and i am getting so depressed i dont know what
>to do.
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