Re: To Candace=Need opinion from women with endo who have had this happen before (Maybe TMI)
From: Candace (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Sun Apr 27 22:26:59 2008
Thanks so much for your reply! It's nice to know that other women deal
with this.
At Sat, 26 Apr 2008, anonymous wrote:
>
>Hi Candace,
>I know what you mean. I am sorry he is not listening to you. I had a
>boyfriend similar years back who said he understood, would help me
>through it but as time went on he kept pushing the issue and wanting
>sex. I couldn't even kiss him without him thinking it was going to lead
>to sex. Really made me not want to at all. I was also dealing with my
>candida allergy at the same time so I was ALWAYS tired and not well.
>Some how you need to MAKE him understand(if that is even possible for
>men!)
>Personally I think it is not fair for you. Really put your foot down on
>this issue.
>It really is hard to give advice on this issue because i don't know what
>kind of guy he is. I'll just tell you with my guy now, he doesn't
>bother me at all with sex when he knows i am not well with my endo. I
>don't know where he came from but i know these guys are rare. I give
>him a book and we are off the subject!
>My advice to you is to listen to yourself, don't have sex when you know
>you will pay the consequences! If he loves you and supports you, he
>should understand and stick by you. It is your body, mind and spirit.
>Keep it sacred.
>Just have a nice talk with him. Maybe show him some aweful pictures of
>endo so he knows what you are dealing with. Or maybe not. That may
>scare him.
>Good luck girl and don't feel guilty. We feel bad enough already with
>what we have to deal with in our bodies.
>Keep us posted.
>-Nellie
>
>At Sat, 26 Apr 2008, Candace wrote:
>>
>>Tonight I got home from work, and I was sitting on the computer. My
>>boyfriend came in and said hey wanna watch a movie? I was like okay
>>sure. I'm tired from work, feel like I'm going to fall asleep during
>>the movie, and just plain want to relax. I asked my boyfriend to tickle
>>my back. (one of the only things that will help me relax completely.)
>>He does, and we're watching the movie.
>>
>>Once the movie is over, I just want to cuddle. I was laying there, and
>>he put his hand on my butt. First thing that goes through my mind is
>>great, he wants to have sex. I hate the fact that, every time I just
>>want to cuddle with him, he thinks it's an invitation to have sex. I've
>>tried telling him this before, but he doesn't get it. We just had sex
>>two days ago, and I'm still rather sore (on the inside) from it. He
>>starts asking me things like are you in the mood? How can I make it feel
>>better, and junk like that. I'm not really doing any foreplay cause I"m
>>just trying to get into the mood. I was starting to when he all of a
>>sudden just completely stops.
>>
>>He starts wondering why I'm not doing things, and he's usually very
>>supportive with my endo pain. He knows sex is painful for me. He also
>>knows that sex wakes me up. I have to work in the morning. I close on
>>Friday nights and open on Saturday mornings.
>>
>>Was it wrong for me to get upset with him? He always feels rejected when
>>I'm not in the mood. In my opinion if we've been together 7 years and
>>he feels rejected then something is wrong there. I've only flat out
>>said no TWICE!!! TWO TIMES in our ENTIRE relationship, (not including
>>tonight which I didn't say no) Was it wrong for me to get upset? It
>>takes time for me to get into the mood because I know what will follow
>>is not just pleasure, but pain, and a couple days of soreness.
>>
>>Sorry the post is so long. It just upsets me that he doesn't take into
>>consideration that I have to work tomorrow, and that it's going to wake
>>me up and cause pain. Should I have handled it in a different way? Is
>>there any way that I can possibly explain it better to him?
>>
>>--
>>Candace
>>
>>Wishing for pain free days for all!
>>
--
Candace
Wishing for pain free days for all!
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