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Re: To Candace=Need opinion from women with endo who have had this happen before (Maybe TMI)
From: anonymous (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Sat Apr 26 15:05:29 2008
Hi Candace,
I know what you mean. I am sorry he is not listening to you. I had a
boyfriend similar years back who said he understood, would help me
through it but as time went on he kept pushing the issue and wanting
sex. I couldn't even kiss him without him thinking it was going to lead
to sex. Really made me not want to at all. I was also dealing with my
candida allergy at the same time so I was ALWAYS tired and not well.
Some how you need to MAKE him understand(if that is even possible for
men!)
Personally I think it is not fair for you. Really put your foot down on
this issue.
It really is hard to give advice on this issue because i don't know what
kind of guy he is. I'll just tell you with my guy now, he doesn't
bother me at all with sex when he knows i am not well with my endo. I
don't know where he came from but i know these guys are rare. I give
him a book and we are off the subject!
My advice to you is to listen to yourself, don't have sex when you know
you will pay the consequences! If he loves you and supports you, he
should understand and stick by you. It is your body, mind and spirit.
Keep it sacred.
Just have a nice talk with him. Maybe show him some aweful pictures of
endo so he knows what you are dealing with. Or maybe not. That may
scare him.
Good luck girl and don't feel guilty. We feel bad enough already with
what we have to deal with in our bodies.
Keep us posted.
-Nellie
At Sat, 26 Apr 2008, Candace wrote:
>
>Tonight I got home from work, and I was sitting on the computer. My
>boyfriend came in and said hey wanna watch a movie? I was like okay
>sure. I'm tired from work, feel like I'm going to fall asleep during
>the movie, and just plain want to relax. I asked my boyfriend to tickle
>my back. (one of the only things that will help me relax completely.)
>He does, and we're watching the movie.
>
>Once the movie is over, I just want to cuddle. I was laying there, and
>he put his hand on my butt. First thing that goes through my mind is
>great, he wants to have sex. I hate the fact that, every time I just
>want to cuddle with him, he thinks it's an invitation to have sex. I've
>tried telling him this before, but he doesn't get it. We just had sex
>two days ago, and I'm still rather sore (on the inside) from it. He
>starts asking me things like are you in the mood? How can I make it feel
>better, and junk like that. I'm not really doing any foreplay cause I"m
>just trying to get into the mood. I was starting to when he all of a
>sudden just completely stops.
>
>He starts wondering why I'm not doing things, and he's usually very
>supportive with my endo pain. He knows sex is painful for me. He also
>knows that sex wakes me up. I have to work in the morning. I close on
>Friday nights and open on Saturday mornings.
>
>Was it wrong for me to get upset with him? He always feels rejected when
>I'm not in the mood. In my opinion if we've been together 7 years and
>he feels rejected then something is wrong there. I've only flat out
>said no TWICE!!! TWO TIMES in our ENTIRE relationship, (not including
>tonight which I didn't say no) Was it wrong for me to get upset? It
>takes time for me to get into the mood because I know what will follow
>is not just pleasure, but pain, and a couple days of soreness.
>
>Sorry the post is so long. It just upsets me that he doesn't take into
>consideration that I have to work tomorrow, and that it's going to wake
>me up and cause pain. Should I have handled it in a different way? Is
>there any way that I can possibly explain it better to him?
>
>--
>Candace
>
>Wishing for pain free days for all!
>
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