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Re: anonymous!! 2 My baby making days are over :( - to Jess
From: Amy (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Wed Dec 26 09:18:28 2007
Jess-that is the same thing I had an issue with when I replied and
agreed with Anon Dec 19th (in reply to Anon December 18th), - "I don't
want to join your pity party." It just came off wrong and sounded like
Niki was getting bashed for asking for support. I was not replying to
your comment on adoption. I was replying to whoever posted under
anonymous-you always sign your posts. I am catching back up on forum
messages after being away from it for a week or so and didn't want you
to think my reply was directed at you.
Hugs!
Amy Meyer
At Wed, 19 Dec 2007, anonymous wrote:
>
>This is what I have an issue with:
>
>>>>>No, I do not want to join your pity party. Did you read the post below
>>>>>about hyst's, about how they affect your hormones? Do you know you might
>>>>>have MORE pain post-hyst than before? Have you read Dr Redwine's site
>>>>>(and no I do not work for him, I read his site).
>
>Perhaps it came across wrong, but is devestating to be given the news
>that original poster did. Saying no you didn't want to join her pity
>party insinuated that she shouldn't be looking for a shoulder to lean
>on. I have been to Dr. Redwine's site many many times. However, he is
>out of reach for many people. I am not jumping to conclusions. What
>you should have said is hey, here are some other options in a more
>supportive way. Not immediately start off with no I am not joining your
>pity party. It came across as she didn't have anything to be upset
>about.
>
>Perhaps next time you can try a nicer approach? If you want to help
>someone, just offer the options. Don't go and insinuate that she
>doesn't have anything to be upset about. Getting that kind of news is
>hard. You are faced with the decision of should I be happy for what I
>have; what if something happens, will everyone say I told you so? She is
>grieving for what she can't have and yes it is a grieving process.
>Apparently, I am not the only one that felt that way in reading your
>post.
>
>To the original poster, if you want another child, find yourself a
>damned good perinatologist (obgyn that specializes in high risk
>pregnancies). Find one that you trust with your life and go from there.
>If they are good, they will lay out the risks of pregnancy to you. But
>they won't tell you no. They will support you in what you decide. The
>ones that tell you no way are not comfortable in your care. You need to
>find someone that will be. If you feel that you shouldn't risk it, then
>please make peace with your decision.
>
>At Wed, 19 Dec 2007, Jess wrote:
>>
>>WOW,
>>how was I being mean. I was suggesting an alternative that might work
>>very well. I never said it was wrong to have a another baby, I just
>>said it might be a better option. I was trying to be supportive and let
>>her know she might not be able to make a baby but she can still have
>>one. If you did ever come to this forum you'd know I've never been
>>judgemental or rude. I think you need to stop jumping to conclusions
>>and don't assume I'm being rude. Thank You
>>
>>But now that you mention it I don't think I could risk my life to have
>>another baby when if something goes wrong my kids would have no mom at
>>all. Thats how I feel but I would never tell her what to do or that she
>>shouldnt have another kid.
>>
>>At Wed, 19 Dec 2007, anonymous wrote:
>>>
>>>WOW how supportive you are anon Dec 18th! First there are two issues, 1)
>>>being endo 2) being lupus. Now I happen to have experience with high
>>>risk pregnancies. WHY? I have had Severe PE/HELLP Syndrome and Severe
>>>PIH. What she is talking about with problems with kidneys,blood clots,
>>>etc is that she is high risk for pre-eclampsia/hellp syndrome/pih. That
>>>is why one of the reasons they are doing the hysterectomy and it has
>>>actually been suggested to me by 3 drs for the same reasons (one of them
>>>an internationally recognized pelvic pain specialist). I have suspected
>>>adenomyosis and confirmed endometriosis. Lupus is an auto-immune
>>>disease and now that she has been diagnosed with it, makes her very high
>>>risk for pregnancy. Lupron probably did not cause the lupus.
>>>
>>>Hearing this kind of news is very upsetting to women. I was told to
>>>never have another child again after my first because I almost DIED. I
>>>did have another 6 1/2 years later but again that was a hard complicated
>>>pregnancy and also ended in an emergency delivery.
>>>
>>>Here I am again 4 1/2 weeks pregnant. However, I have a team of drs
>>>following me (opthamologist, obgyn, endo specialist, perinatologist,
>>>pcp, etc). My dr when hearing that I was pregnant again (I do love her
>>>and she was looking out for my best interests) said congratulations. So
>>>are you getting that uterus removed after this one so that there are no
>>>more?
>>>
>>>Geez, have a little compassion. One of the reasons I only check in
>>>every couple of months now because of the nastiness on this board. I
>>>thought we were supposed to SUPPORT women here. Instead all I find is a
>>>bunch of know it alls who recommend treatments that are out reach for
>>>most women due to health insurance, costs, and very few excision
>>>specialists around. What you should have done was encourage her to
>>>explore her options. While she already has 2 children, why can't she
>>>wish to have more? There is nothing wrong with that. Did you ever think
>>>that if she could afford to adopt a child, maybe she could afford to
>>>have the endo excision treatment to begin with?
>>>
>>>I'm sorry your baby making days are over with. It is something that I
>>>am coming to terms with myself and have had a difficult time with. This
>>>baby now will be the last. I will be looking at permanent options after
>>>the baby is born.
>>>
>>>At Wed, 19 Dec 2007, anonymous wrote:
>>>>
>>>>i think lupron harms your immune system for sure,isn't it
>>>>immuno-suppresive?
>>>>
>>>>save your fertility if you want to, you are the only one who can know if
>>>>you want to adopt
>>>>
>>>>Doctors can be brutal, and have rough methods of dealing with things. If
>>>>you feel so strongly about this that you are crying, you have GOT to get
>>>>real second opinions, from experts
>>>>
>>>>Have you ever heard of this doctor? He's supposed to care very much
>>>>about preserving a woman's fertility, and in helping them
>>>>
>>>>http://www.naprotechnology.com/surgical.htm
>>>>
>>>>At Wed, 19 Dec 2007, Jess wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>> Are you saying Lupron caused Lupus?
>>>>>I think people with Endo are mroe likley to have auto-immune diseases,
>>>>>even without Lupron use. Maybe I miss understood you. Anyways I've
>>>>>prepared myself with the realization I might have to adopt and I came to
>>>>>realise that was a blessing all in its own. You already have biological
>>>>>children why don't you adopt? So many children so little homes. I feel
>>>>>you'd be doing an even better thing by adopting then getting pregnant
>>>>>but thats just my opnion.
>>>>>Jessica
>>>>>jessicarozez@hotmail.com
>>>>>
>>>>>At Tue, 18 Dec 2007, anonymous wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>>No, I do not want to join your pity party. Did you read the post below
>>>>>>about hyst's, about how they affect your hormones? Do you know you might
>>>>>>have MORE pain post-hyst than before? Have you read Dr Redwine's site
>>>>>>(and no I do not work for him, I read his site).
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Progesterone might help you SO Much with some of these problems,incl
>>>>>>early delivery.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>it's not going to cure the endo, but it sure as heck might help you
>>>>>>
>>>>>>i'll look for some info on doctors
>>>>>>
>>>>>>At Tue, 18 Dec 2007, niki wrote:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>ive seen my rheumatologist and gyno. Both agree with my ana pointing
>>>>>>>towards lupus (thanks lupron!) that me getting pregnant would be way to
>>>>>>>risky. I am already a high risk pregnancy due to both kids coming
>>>>>>>early. The risks of me getting pregnant would be passing clots thru the
>>>>>>>placenta to the baby and baby dying in utero. me going into kidney
>>>>>>>failure, or passing blood clots to myself. They both agreed pregnancy
>>>>>>>would be way to risky. So its gonna be planned for the first week of
>>>>>>>Jan. It will be done laprascopic. They will remove uterus and both
>>>>>>>ovaries. He also will burn off any endo that has grown back. I will
>>>>>>>not be put on any hormone replacement as the estrogen feeds endo. This
>>>>>>>saddens me to no end. then to put the icing on the cake i go to leave
>>>>>>>and in the waiting room is a lady with her newborn baby. I lost it. I
>>>>>>>spent 15 min sobbing in my car. I am blessed to have the two babies I
>>>>>>>do have. But I would love to have another baby. Im waiting on dh to
>>>>>>>call at 1130. Anyone wanna join my pity party????
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