Re: Donna regarding bullying PLEASE READ
From: Amy (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Fri Sep 28 10:59:16 2007
Thanks for sending this Andrea. I am a long time poster (10 years or
better)on the forum but have taken a step back from it over the last
couple years for the reasons you state below. I finally decided today
to hop on and see what was going on at the forum and find that the same
old bullying is still going on! Sad that some have nothing more to do
than "torture" others! I will stop back by from time to time but the joy
and support I used to get from this has long been tainted by those who
think they know it all, yet post under the name anonymous! Thanks for
speaking up!
--
Amy Meyer
At Fri, 21 Sep 2007, andrea wrote:
>
>Donna,
>
>I am pleading with you to figure out this bullying mess. For God's sake
>this is not high school. It is still ongoing and I think the problem is
>still caused by the same anonymous person. So many of us feel we can no
>longer post, without being attacked in some way, judged or told to have
>excision. We've head it a hundred times! This has got to stop. We have
>already lost so many valuable members because of this. This Anon person
>feels like they must take over the forum. There are still women on here
>who I feel have become my friends, so I don't want to leave them, but
>this anon stuff has got to stop. I think I am just going to ignore all
>Anon posts and responses from now on and the women who have been hurt by
>this should do the same. Why give them ths satisfaction of knowing that
>they've upset us? I've really enjoyed the time I've had on this forum,
>it's been very rewarding and hope it can get back to the way it used to
>be. Thanks for listening. Here are some just some of the
>inappropriate, hurtful posts that may be helpful to you in figuring this
>out. If it is in fact the same person, this forum would be better off
>without them.
>
>Sincerely,
>Andrea
>
>This is the first mean post I recieved:
>
>From: anonymous (anonymous@obgyn.net)
>Fri Aug 10 21:16:42 2007
>
>To Andrea:
>This is NOT true for all women with endo!!! Please do not make women
>feel guilty for taking pills that have relieved their pain. I know you
>are seeing a specialist, however you have not even had a lap to get a
>true diagnosis so you are not an expert. I appreicate your info, but
>there has not ever been proven one perfect way to treat all women with
>endo. For example, I myself would never take Lupron. My best friend
>did and though it was hard it helped enough to allow her to get
>pregnant. I would never tell her she is wrong, she has a child now.
>Perhaps you should have had a lap years ago to have your endo diagnosed
>and excised!
>
>At Thu, 20 Sep 2007, anonymous wrote:
>>
>>not starting posts with the word 'sorry' and putting people down
>>
>>not telling people they have adeno when that person they're telling has
>>not had a hyst, which is how you diagnose it, and you can't diagnose
>>cyberly
>
>From: anonymous (anonymous@obgyn.net)
>Mon Jul 16 22:24:25 2007
>
>To Paige:
>don't focus on it anymore. I thought surgery would help, but nothing's
>changed. Just have more doctors bills and problems at my job. My
>advice - give up going to the docs. They are just a waste of time. Suck
>it up and suffer. That is what life is - suffering.
>
>This is what you posted this to Ada a few days ago:
>
>YOU ONLY KNOW IF YOU HAVE ADENO, IF YOU HAVE A HYST, YOU CANNOT SAY YOU
>HAVE IT IF YOU DON'T KNOW IT!! doctors can only SUSPECT it, I AM SORRY
>TO TELL YOU
>
>And this to me:
>
>Now, you're not being nice or supportive, and Ada was rude
>
>--
>Anonymous,
>
>Being supportive does not include typing like you are yelling at someone
>who is now recovering from a hysterectomy. Ada just did have a
>hysterectomy, so that's how she knew she had Adeno! And I have had a
>sono also that indicates uterine symptoms of Adeno.
>
>Just because you disagree with her, you had no excuse to yell at her and
>make her feel bad. She is in recovery right now, and you have no
>compassion for that. Starting a post with the word sorry, is fine.
>Sorry for how you feel....ect. Maybe you don't do that.
>
>I have never been unkind or not supportive on this forum, so if you
>think I'm being rude to you, maybe so, but you attacked one of my
>friends who is in a fragile state right now and she did not deserve
>that,
>so obviously you don't know the definitions of nice or supportive.
>Things YOU say on here have made people cry, including me. Does that
>make you feel good? It seems all you do is preach about how everyone
>else on this forum is wrong or stupid and preach about excision! Gee, I
>think we know that's the answer by now, but many of us can't afford it
>or can't find a good enough doctor, like I couldn't til now.
>
>Is this YOU TOO? Because all of your posts sound the same. Telling
>people they are wrong and preaching excision, taking over the forum!
>
>YOU ALSO WROTE THIS TO ADA:
>
>Sun, 26 Aug 2007, deirdre wrote: >
>>If you haven't had success stopping the drug and being pain-free for
>>some months you have no right to tell others it's worked.
>>
>>What do you know about biology?
>
>Ada wrote:
>
>You asked what I know about biology? To be honest, not a great deal.
>However, I do have a masters degree in social work. Therefore, I know
>telling a woman who is doing a treatment that she feels is best for her
>based on her experiences and her doctors advice that she is wrong can
>cause all kinds of feelings, including guilt and depression. I do know
>that is not your purpose but each woman has to find their own path
>through this awful disease. We should support ALL women here even if
>the treatment is one we would never choose for ourselves. If it turns
>out awful for them we need to encourage them to continue searching for
>the answer to their pain. Telling them they are wrong just adds another
>element of emotion that many are not prepared for. It is not a question
>of knowing biology but respecting and caring for each woman.
>
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