Re: For M In Pain at Work ...
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From: Cez (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Thu Sep 13 04:10:05 2007
Hey i'm new to this but i'd liek to put my view across as i feel i can't
talk to no one.
I have been suffering for 8years now with pains in my pelvis etc. I
turn 20 in 2months and have had no teenage life. I was diagnosed with
having endometriosis late last year and still have had no treatment for
this.
I started a new job and am on a 3month probabtion period but i have
spent more time in hospital then i have in work. Obviously not my
fault. I have had an eating disorder for 6months + now and there is
nothing a psychiatrist can do as i have the eating disorder due to
problems in my life with my pelvis i am also depressed as well.
Everytime i have sex it hurts, when i move about it hurts, i constantly
have a dull aching pain but sometimes this increases and i have to go
into hospital and be given morphene which i have now grown to hate. In
the past month i have spent 2 weekends in hospital due to my pain. I am
currently on an injection which has put me into menopause. I believe i
have been unfertile prior to this but doctors can't confirm.
I have had many tests done hence how they found the endometriosis,
pregnancy tests, blood tests, scans and still have foudn nothing and are
unsure where the pain is coming from.
Doctors have ran out of painkillers for me. They have given me the
highest possible and the next level for pain relief is morphene but i
can't live with this all my life. or keep going into hospital. I have
been referred to the pain clinic at my loacl hospital but are stil
waiting to hear from them.
So how has this affected my life... i have had no teenage years at all.
whilst my friends were out socialising i was stuck in doors in bed
crying and wishing my life would end because i couldn't take it and
still i think this. The doctors are now unsure if the pain is pelvic
related or coming from somewhere else. I fear a hystorectomy is heading
my way but i couldn't care no mreo what they did with me. I am the line
of losing my job which means i would lose the house i have just started
to rent. I barely go out and see more of bedroom (and not in a good
way) then i do of my friends, family, work, outside etc.
Nothing helps my pain although i do smoke a bit of the green stuff but
it helps me but then again i can't live on that and i most definitely
can't go to work smoking! wouldn't anyway. There aer no painkillers to
help my pain. I am so scared of losing my job at present more than
anything and my partner is too. If i lost my job i'd lose my home,
repsect, and i would hate myself and get even mre depressed but it is
upto the company and they are going based on my attendance record which
isn't good. They are supportive and said go home if you need to go to
hospital if you need to don't work and be in pain just go but that
lowers my attendance so i stay and i push myself and in the end i makle
myself worse ( i did this and ended up in hospital) i don't want a
repeat. I feel so lost right now and don't know what to do. I feel the
world crashing in on me and there is nothing i can do about this.
I do sympathise with you all and i am out here too reading your stories
and knwoing exactly how you feel. I haven't had a life yet and maybe i
won't. But all i can say is stay strong, i've tried so far and have
done well for 8years and now i can officailly say i can't be bothered no
more and wish they would take it all away btu they won't but one dxay
i'll be ok and be happy once again and live life like i was supposed to.
Thanks for reading, stay strong
Cez
At Mon, 19 Mar 2007, anonymous wrote:
>
>At Mon, 19 Mar 2007, Cari wrote:
>
>I hear your echo!!!
>
>I am sorry to hear you have been having the same problems..I agree with
>you..I think my symptoms start to flare up at ovulation and continues on
>from there..and the in between time..is not that great either.
>
>I hear you..I hear you!! People at work do NOT understand here either!
>There are times I felt maybe my boss did understand...but, now this time
>around (pain started to get worse and now 3rd surgery is coming)..she
>just seems just plain sick and tired of it all! It makes me so upset! If
>she is tired of it...how does she think I feel?? Like I have to
>apologize to her or defend the 3rd surgery!
>
>I know what that whole co-workers comment thing is all about, too! I
>can't stand the comments..or overhearing people talking about
>it.."Wow..she took another day".
>Not everyone here knows...some do and of course human resources and my
>boss.
>
>That is just plain WRONG that you got a verbal warning because of your
>pre--op appts!! Just wrong! I am so disgusted over this! Employers are
>big BULLIES when it comes to this..
>I also think they have forgotten we are HUMAN BEINGS! Human resources
>and my boss bother become some technical about the paperwork (FMLA)
>letters from doctors..etc.
>They hound for them. I know they need this for legal purposes..etc. It
>just becomes so cold!
>Paperwork..paperwork..paperwork. Forget about feelings...etc...just get
>the paperwork in!!
>I could only imagine what would happen in the event that the medical
>leave of absence went past the allowed 12 weeks ( fmla allows you to
>safely take 12 weeks...after that your job may not be safe)....I imagine
>my employer would give me the boot the 1st day into the 13th week.
>Rather than focus on our health..and getting better...we are more
>worried about ..as you said " protecting ourselves"..Which is a terrible
>thing.
>
>I think we need to do something about this cold-hearted, mean spirited,
>and unfair treatment from our employers! There has to be a way....
>
>We are legitimately sick, with a legitimate disease....we are not trying
>to find ways out of working (which I believe some people think)..that
>endo has become our "excuse"!!
>I think there is a lot of discrimination going on...not just with the
>endo women...but with any type of illness in the workplace. We should
>not feel bullied by coworkers to explain our absences..we should not
>have to hear nasty comments about why we were out...
>We should not have to tolerate that tone in our bosses voice when we
>tell her we need to be out for tests, appts or surgeries! I am so
>upset.....I am so tired of being afraid to take care of my health
>because of what other peoples reactions or reponses are!!
>
>My goal, my mission....is to someday change all this!!
>
>Thank you for sharing and replying..
>
>Thank you
>
>>Hello, Happy Monday...
>>
>>I echo your email! I have those days more frequently lately myself. The
>>nausea, the back pain and always the cramping and other fun stuff.
>>Usually for me, it starts with ovulation and doesn't let up until after
>>my period ends...so about half of my month is hell, the other half is
>>just tolerable. Nobody understands at work. I have FMLA that allows me
>>three days per month but every time I take a day because I just can't
>>get up due to pain...my co-workers and my boss give me the "sick again"
>>comment the next day. I don't talk about my condition because it is
>>pretty personal stuff and I know they won't understand. My boss gave me
>>a verbal warning on attendance which included the day I had to take off
>>to do my pre-op work up at the hospital last year. That was when I
>>filed my FMLA paperwork to protect myself. I would have thought she
>>would understand knowing I have endo and knowing I was having surgery.
>>She cited the days I left two hours early or came in late to attend my
>>post-op appointments etc...it was just so unfair and mean spirited.
>>
>>I hope you do have the courage to stand up for yourself and your rights.
>>I'm tired of people bullying me (and others) around for things they
>>cannot control. Maybe if we had cancer or something "serious" we would
>>get more sympathy. But then, a very close friend of mine was just
>>diagnosed with breast cancer and her boss asked her if two weeks off to
>>have a mastectomy was really necessary...couldn't she take only one or
>>something...so I think it is just the work environment some of us are
>>in.
>>
>>Take care,
>>Cari
>>
>>At Mon, 19 Mar 2007, anonymous wrote:
>>>
>>>Hi everyone-
>>>
>>>I just wanted to post...
>>>
>>>Did you ever have those days (I have them a lot) where you just have so
>>>many aches and pains in your body, you just don't know what to do
>>>anymore? I feel this way today...
>>>
>>>I am at work...and am trying to make it through the day. I guess I am
>>>just past mid-cycle..so of course that could be the reason for the
>>>increase in pain and just feeling so miserable today. I have terrible
>>>back pain...abdominal and pelvic pain. Extremely nauseated..Terrible
>>>gag attack this morn.. The pain in my legs is pretty bad today,
>>>too...When I get up from my desk...it is painful to move. I almost feel
>>>flu-like...but do not have a flu. I do feel feverish, too..This is a
>>>familiar feeling to me.
>>>I am having surgery next month...My endo is very severe..they also are
>>>highly suspecting adenomyosis..I have "frozen pelvis"..which could be
>>>the cause of all the pain today..
>>>I am just so upset over this...there is rarely a day when I feel good or
>>>normal..
>>>Even though I know I have endo..I just cannot believe all the problems
>>>it causes sometimes!!
>>>
>>>I wish I could walk over to my boss and tell her I am feeling so
>>>terrible today....but, again, I am worried for my job..Even though she
>>>knows I am having surgery next month and all the fmla and short term
>>>disability paperwork is in place...I still worry about people or my boss
>>>not understanding..There have been sometimes she has been very cold
>>>about my problems and at times she has been very compassionate.
>>>
>>>I am going to try and ride out the day...I hope the pain subsides..
>>>I just wanted to send this out...there maybe many women, like
>>>me...sitting at work..or school...or somewhere...silently suffering. I
>>>pray that I get the courage to stand up for my health and my needs! If I
>>>am in pain...or not well...I want to be able to say to someone...without
>>>fear of what they think...or without fear of loosing my job!!!!
>>>That is why I think it is so important that we give endometriosis a
>>>voice ..so that people know the devastation involved!
>>>
>>>If anyone has any stories to share..about how employers handled or did
>>>not handle your illness...how you made it through the days..or if you
>>>took a stand stand and when you were ill cared for yourself
>>>regardless...
>>>
>>>Thanks for listening...I was just venting and throwing thoughts out
>>>there...
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