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Re: Do I tell Him? - ALL MUST B4 JUDGING ME
From: anonymous (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Mon Sep 3 12:47:02 2007
Hi Jessica...
I was the one who wrote the comment about the nonsense happening on here
lately...I totally did not mean that against you - it is against the one
or two people on here lately who I am shocked are still allowed to post.
My comment was against the person making comments on her opinion on
knocking someone up. It is ridiculous and again, I'm amazed that her
post was allowed. I'm very sorry if you thought I was directing that at
you. I'm writing under anon as I worry about the direction some of the
posts have been going lately.
Enjoy your day.
At Mon, 3 Sep 2007, D wrote:
>
>Hi Jessica,
>
>I just wanted to say I hope you won't take what a few people say here
>too hard! I know I pretty much try to ignore the bickering that
>sometimes happens, and I think most of the women who come here do the
>same. I don't think your reputation is ruined, although I know it can
>feel pretty bad and seem like that. When I read through the thread, I'm
>not even clear on who is complaining about who, to tell you the truth!
>
>Hope you are having a good holiday, please don't let a couple posters
>get you down!
>
>At Sun, 2 Sep 2007, Jessica wrote:
>>
>>I do not like my reputation being ruined because of one comment I made.
>>I simply said that I thought it was rude that the anonymous person
>>replied to a women in need that the man she was with was rude and
>>selfish for wanting to have a baby with her before being deployed and
>>before they were married.
>>
>>I think I was quite polite in my response telling her I thought it was
>>inconsiderate that she wasn't here to support the women with kind advice
>>but was here to pass judgment on her lifestyle. It was her first time
>>here and she came to get support in her struggles with Endo and how it
>>effects her life. She was not here to be passed judgment against
>>because she was out of wedlock. I hope you have went through all the
>>posts on this subject and not just read the most recent ones and are
>>just assuming I was being mean to this anonymous person. I'm sorry if
>>what you think I was doing was unsupportive and mean spirited. I
>>however will stand by what I said and was just trying to let the women
>>who posted and needed help know that not all of us would pass judgment
>>on her. I have always been here to support the women on this site, and
>>not once started an srgument or for that matter been part of one. I'm
>>sorry if you do not think I was doing the right thing by what i felt was
>>sticking up for this women. There are a lot of women here who have
>>commited far worse crimes and have not recieved this kind of negative
>>attention. I'm sorry if I sound a little upset right now but I'm pretty
>>sure I did not do anything wrong here and have no been caught up in
>>something I didnt deserve to be
>>Thanks for taking time to here me out and for reading all the posts
>>pertaining to this matter, for only then do you know whats truly going
>>on.
>>Jessica
>>
>>At Sat, 1 Sep 2007, anonymous wrote:
>>>
>>>I agree with this poster and am wondering what has happened to this
>>>forum. I am depressed enough when i am in constant pain after two
>>>surgeries with no real answer still, and it is even more depressing to
>>>read all this bickering that has been going on here for the past month
>>>or so when women come to this site for comfort....At first I was just
>>>really surprised that people are so sure of themselves that they resort
>>>to fighting about treatments or seem like they somehow have all the
>>>right answers because they've had the disease long enough to be an
>>>"expert."
>>>
>>>I am new to this disease process and the pain (since January) and have
>>>often turned to this forum for helpful advice or just plain old friendly
>>>support from women in similar situations. It has made me feel better to
>>>read the posts and see the advice and support. But it seems that lately
>>>there has been a large amount negativity that has absolutely nothing to
>>>do with being supportive.
>>>Why have people become so snippy and self righteous. This is a disease
>>>support forum, isn't it? With the emphasis on the word SUPPORT. Anyone
>>>who doesn't want to take part in making people feel better should take
>>>it out on people who can handle it better (those not in constant pain).
>>>
>>>Please stop or women will stop coming here for help. We get put off
>>>enough by doctors and nurses. We don't need to feel belittled by others
>>>here.
>>>
>>>At Fri, 31 Aug 2007, anonymous wrote:
>>>>
>>>>Can someone please stop this nonsense? Is this really a productive way
>>>>to help people with their endo issues?
>>>>
>>>>At Fri, 31 Aug 2007, anonymous wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>You're being rude. Go by what the woman wrote, not what you want to
>>>>>make up in your head.
>>>>>
>>>>>She used certain words, and she means them. He is being territorial and
>>>>>selfish. He wants her to be pregnant so she is 'his.' The way you do
>>>>>that nicely is ask the woman to marry you.
>>>>>
>>>>>At Fri, 31 Aug 2007, Jessica wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>>I doubt he looks at it like Hes just going to knock her up and leave
>>>>>>her. They've probably talked about having kids before this. He's also
>>>>>>going to be deployed so maybe he thinks this is the best time for him to
>>>>>>have a child in case something happens over there. I think you being
>>>>>>rude was kind of selfish, Your not thinking at all about what this women
>>>>>>is here for. She's here for your advice and a kind word. She's not
>>>>>>here to have us judge her lifestyle. We are suppose to support one
>>>>>>another.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Now to the women who needs help:
>>>>>>This is just my opinion but if it were left up to me I'd tell him. If
>>>>>>he loves you he's going to understand and I think he should know if you
>>>>>>are going to be able to have children with him someday. Especially if
>>>>>>its after your married and bio children are so important to him he might
>>>>>>end up resenting the fact you knew this whole time and didn't say
>>>>>>anything. Im just thinking of all possible reactions. Women with endo
>>>>>>can have kids and if you do end up telling him I think he should come to
>>>>>>one of your Dr.s appts and your Dr. can talk to both of you about the
>>>>>>statistics and options. I found it easier to bring my boyfriend in and
>>>>>>have it explained from a proffesional point of view. Men are good with
>>>>>>numbers and statistics, they can relate to that it seems. Your
>>>>>>Boyfriend could be a very important support system for you, but its
>>>>>>ultimately up to you if you feel comfortable telling him. Good Luck I
>>>>>>hope things turn out for the best. I'm pretyt sure if this man loves
>>>>>>you enough to marry you, he'll love you enought o go through the ups and
>>>>>>downs with you too.
>>>>>>jessica
>>>>>>
>>>>>>--
>>>>>>jessicarozez@hotmail.com
>>>>>>
>>>>>>At Thu, 30 Aug 2007, anonymous wrote:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>What kind of man loves you that tries to 'knock you up?' and leave you
>>>>>>>pregnant? Don't you think he's selfish?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>You can certainly have children
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Have you had your hormones measured? That's so easy
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Bellevue Pharmacy does it, so does Women's International, and so does
>>>>>>>another one listed below in texas, they work with natural hormones
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>At Thu, 30 Aug 2007, anonymous wrote:
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>Do I tell my boyfriend I have a disease. He knows of my pain as bad
>>>>>>>>cramps and a "time out week". I know my chances are practically non
>>>>>>>>existant as far as pregnancy. I have had the surgery and the photos of
>>>>>>>>my uterus looks like lung cancer. I dont want to be dramatic but my
>>>>>>>>hormones are so out of wack. My best friend is pregnant. My boyfriend
>>>>>>>>is going away on deployment and I have a feeling he is trying to knock
>>>>>>>>me up before he leaves. I know he is saving for a ring to engage. Do I
>>>>>>>>tell him now before he gets on one knee? Selfishly I want to keep it a
>>>>>>>>secret.....afraid of never being loved by anyone again:[
>>>>>>>>Can I hide it forever I wonder sometimes.?.
>>>>>>
>--
>Find an endo specialist in the ERC's EndoDocs group:
>http://groups.yahoo.com/group/EndoDocs/
>
>Try an excellent endo support group:
>http://groups.yahoo.com/group/erc/
>
>Info on pain management:
>http://www.painfoundation.org/
>
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