Re: Need Help.......Looks like hyst time.... :-( - To KRIS
From: Lynn (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Thu Mar 29 09:58:21 2007
Also please do not make a choice to have a hysterectomy because your
HUBBY says you have to - I hate to say this but if he someday is OUT of
the picture this is a decision that will effect the rest of your life.
Ladies I am almost sure of this but I firmly belive a repro endo doc
will NOT do a hysterectomy? They will deal within their specialty and
then refer u to a GYN for a hysterectomy.
At Thu, 29 Mar 2007, Elisa wrote:
>
>Auh..Kris~
>
>Sorry this Dr. has put you in this position. I am sure this isn't what
>you want to hear but get rid of this Dr. Any Dr. who can go from A-Z
>without trying dissection isn't worth touching you. That Dr. should be
>perserving and not taking the path of least resistance. Your message
>reflects that they don't want to do neither but what happens to all that
>other active endo near or around the areas removed for the hysterectomy?
>That right there tells me that you don't have someone who is taking the
>time and precision needed to give you the best possible outcome.
>
>I am sorry your husband is giving you such a tough time on this. I know
>it's not acceptable but again you have to let him say and do what he
>wishes. We need to get you through this. You carve out your path and
>the rest will fall into place. Sounds like a lot of frustration and
>fear coming out of him and more will fall on him if you go out for
>surgery. If he won't take you do you have a close friend or neighbor to
>get you there? If this was a trip to save your life would you let
>someone else stop you? (I don't mean that in a bad way but in a
>motivating way?) Everyone else sleeps at night and your in deep pain and
>sick. You need to get the proper care.
>
>I don't think seeing these other Dr.'s are going to be helpful until you
>get this endo dealt with on a deep and proper level. Like with the MS
>etc, there are way to many similar symptoms that are coming at you. If
>you had your surgery and new for sure that it wasn't that it wuld be
>different. You need all your Kris energy to get to the right Dr. and
>let them help. I wish I could get there to help you :) I know how sad
>and disheartining this can be but you can do it! Get mad, get sad, and
>get proactive. It will come. You can be selfish right now because in
>the end you will be doing all these other things for everyone else but
>you. 2 years from now if these people are not around (not saying they
>will or won't) but will you be happy with the choices you made today for
>them or for you? That may help you clear this up a bit.
>
>A good Endo Specialist is not in a hurry and can take the reigns and
>lead you with this mess. I am sorry you are getting bounced around. I
>am praying you will get back to that other Dr. someone suggested.
>Pretty soon, your insurance, health or hubby may decide to pull this
>option and you will have to settle and that endo can still be in there.
>Take the time and do it right and go with a great Dr. I am saying all
>this out of frustration for your situation and not you. Please know
>that. Only you can change the course you are headed though. People
>(including us) will only keep adding to your confusion if you don't make
>a plan.
>
>We care about you and are here for you. Please don't settle now and
>don't give up. You have that little one and you to think about. I pray
>your hubby will come around and help make this happen too. Simplify
>this for him and tell him it's like a benign form of cancer. We take
>cancer treating drugs, we get things cut out regularly from this disease
>and we suffer in the same if not more pain than cancer patients. It
>eats at our whole body systems and we have no control and there is no
>cure and we will not die from it. You didn't choose this disease it
>chose you. It's not anyone's fault it just is what it is...OK?
>
>Keep me posted. Thinking of you..
>
>--
>Elisa
>
>At Thu, 29 Mar 2007, PennyDoll wrote:
>>
>>I know a hyst won't solve anything. That's why I'm so aggrivated. And
>>when I suggested that I have another lap done since I haven't had one
>>since the baby, she said that if surgery is goin to be done it should be
>>a hyst, and that there's no point to do a lap or excision or anything
>>else to see how it is right now, since doing another surgery will just
>>cause more scarring and adhesions and there's no point in that, and she
>>won't suggest or do any smaller surgeries. That's why I was so upset,
>>and my husband doesn't understand one bit of all this, so he flipped out
>>when I didn't jump to "SURGERY TIME!!!! YAY!" He knows nothing about it
>>except what I try to talk to him about, but thinks i'm holding out for
>>drugs instead of doin a surgery that will "Cure me," and his response to
>>my hesitance about having it done though it won't help is hitting my
>>stomache and asking me "what do you need this for? You gonna have more
>>kids?"..(pointing to my abdomen) Almost as if it's a completely un-need
>>part of a women that's ok to just throw away. And that's his side of
>>it..what do you need it for? Just get rid of it and have pain management
>>later. Who cares about recovery, hormones, what else it can do to you,
>>etc. And they both acted like I was crazy when asking for a lap to be
>>done to go in to look and evaluate and get rid of some adhesions. I
>>mean common, if you do a lap what's the difference of having hard core
>>surgery for the removal of everything right? Well that's how it was
>>stated and I looked like an idiot for asking something such as a lap or
>>more evaluation before signing me up for surgey. And she was very blunt
>>about it. This was a consultation and she just flat out said this or
>>this, and no you don't need a lap and it won't be done. Choose pain
>>meds then surgery later or vice-versa. Yet hubby storms out yelling at
>>me that I'm a liar and indecisive and that I told him I was gonna go in
>>and go straight to the hysterectomy, and am left there crying with a
>>doctor who is blunt. Then being told in the car that I'm a lieing B***H
>>who did a 180 from what I told him, and was talking out of my A$$ and no
>>wonder why no doctor wants to treat me. Then told me that my old Ob
>>that refused to do anything when bleeding and everything else that "they
>>must of been happy and throwing a party when they found out you were
>>leaving their office for the new ob! And did you hear them cheering in
>>the backgroung?" I just can't believe this. So a dr who believes hyst
>>is the only way, though she know it won't cure anything and will
>>probably make it worse, and a "hubby" that is like this.
>>
>>As for Dr. Daiter I had to cancel for now.My hubby refuses to bring me
>>since I can't drive and says i've been to enough doctors and just need
>>to have surgery and what do I think he's gonna do for me? Nothing so
>>just stop doctor searching. I'm not gonna find a miracle worker, and
>>i'm tired of taking you doctor shopping. And was pretty much told if I
>>don't have surgery and get it over with that I can move in with my mom
>>or go somewhere else cause he's sick and tired of dealing with this
>>problem and me. So I have no other way to get to Dr. Daiters. His mom
>>offered me, but won't get in the middle of us, and he'll flip out on me
>>big time. And my mom does absolutely nothing. Like I said she doesn't
>>even know about the MS. Plus i'm out of work and have no money, and
>>won't get approved for disability or anything else, though I worked my
>>whole life and have never collected a dime. And my hubby just complains
>>about me not at work and tells me I need to do something and just get
>>back to work, otherwise leave since i'm lazy and contribute nothing.
>>Taking care of the baby and the house and having health problems is
>>nothing. I should have a full tiem job. Then pay for day care for
>>someone to be with my son. In the back of my mind is if my ability to
>>walk doesn't come back and I get worse or MS is found and is bad, will I
>>have much more ability to care for my son normally?
>>
>>I just don't know what to do anymore. I may have to find a place to go.
>>And if i do, my health doesn't mean anything if I don't have my son and
>>i'm alone and have nothing else. Things have gotten to the very end for
>>me. I never thought things could get worse. Then all my close friends
>>are in FL where i'm from, and they're busy with their lives and family,
>>and are tired of me griping. What do i do now? I had it. Nobody should
>>ever ever ever have to have all this on their plate. And the only place
>>i turn is here. I can't see a therapist or anything cause it's his
>>insurance, and he doesn't believe in them or depression. I mean "what
>>do i have to be depressed about with everything given to me and staying
>>home watching movies on my butt and occassionally feeding the baby!"
>>right? I have never felt lower or more worthless. Any suggestiong on
>>what I can do, please help. I know i'm not in a healthy environment,
>>but what do you do when there is NOTHING else, except the happiness your
>>son brings you?
>>
>>At Thu, 29 Mar 2007, Lynn wrote:
>>>
>>>A hysterectomy WILL NOT cure your adhesions and endo - I had a partial
>>>hysterectomy in 1998 - left one ovary and of course facing more endo
>>>surgery - you need to schedule a good surgery for the doc to go in and
>>>remove as MUCH adhesions and Endo as possible - if for instance he/she
>>>goes in and there is NO chance of saving the ovary, ect then that be
>>>removed - I would be leary of the doc saying HYSTERECTOMY 100% without
>>>saying lets go in laporscopically take a look - you may have to have a
>>>laporatomy so that i can get as much ick out as possible - then even
>>>though I hate to say it - you might then need to take a class of
>>>medication to supress the hormones for say 6 months - Usually a repro
>>>endocrinolgist will NOT do a hysterectomy as their field is to preserve
>>>not remove - usually he/she will refer you to a GYN for that type of
>>>surgery.
>>>You have had so much going on - Severe Bleeding Issues (I belive the
>>>doctor was suppose to do some type of cervix testing) - abdominal pain -
>>>and now the MS issues -
>>>I know you have Been on the forever search for a compasionate doctor -
>>>but please be cautious at 24 years old having a complete hysterectomy
>>>with the doc telling you it will be a cure - at some point you will have
>>>to take HRT and that will cause some endo adhesions issues as well - if
>>>you do not take HRT you are facing a great deal of other complications
>>>as well (bone loss ect).
>>>I would retalk to the doctor - have a scope done or laporotomy and get
>>>out what needs to get taken out - then deal with the MS issues -
>>>We spoke in email and you stated you were going to see Dr. Daiter (who
>>>is great) i would get a second opinon from him - he did a great job with
>>>cleaning me out....
>>>
>>>At Thu, 29 Mar 2007, PennyDoll wrote:
>>>>
>>>>I dunno, went to the endocrinologist yesterday. Wasn't quite what I
>>>>expected. Pretty much since I've done every treatment out there and
>>>>never had and relief what so ever, even in pregnancy, that my adhesions
>>>>are really bad and no matter what is done, i'm gonna be in pain for
>>>>probably the rest of my life. So I was given 2 options. Go to pain
>>>>management and see how they can help, and go to surgery later....or do
>>>>surgery now and deal with pain management afterwards. I really did
>>>>think there was going to be some trick up her sleeve for another option,
>>>>but of course not. I guess we all hope for that one thing that works
>>>>and doctors keep forgetting to tell us about. My hubby and I are
>>>>fighting and he ended up flipping out on me in front of the doctor and
>>>>walking out. Because at first I chose pain mngmt. and not surgery like
>>>>I talked to him about numerous times. So that left me there lookin like
>>>>a complete moron. On the way home I pretty much got told that I'm
>>>>useless and lazy and just drug seeking and why bother goin to pain
>>>>mngmt. to "seek more drugs to suck down". Wow, what great support. All
>>>>because I've been to so many doctors who won't help, and don't wanna
>>>>prescribe pain meds, and I've asked to go to pain mngmt in the past but
>>>>I never would get help or the referral. So I guess this is how he
>>>>truelly feels. And that I'm stupid to think pain mngmt will help since
>>>>it's meant for "people trying to come off drugs, not for druggies like
>>>>you to get bumped up higher and higher on stuff." I just can't believe
>>>>it. So I got crap and yelling the whole day, while gettin blood for my
>>>>neuro, setting up apts. for my MS tests, on the way to the
>>>>endocrinologist, in her office and horribly on the way home. So if i'm
>>>>not stressed or upset enough, this should help. And I don't have enough
>>>>to cry or worry about. Now I'm alone. Not even my mother will answer
>>>>the phone. She has no clue about my MS or the surgery. Today I gotta
>>>>face that endoc again to talk about surgery and her methods and what
>>>>not. He didnt understand that even though I've talked about a hyat many
>>>>times, it's different when you're faced with it. And ya I did say pain
>>>>mngmt cause I'm afraid of surgery, recovery, the pain, the time your
>>>>disabled, plus bein 24 and going through such rouch hormonal changes and
>>>>menopause. Plus I have a 2 1/2 month old son I take care of 24/7. And
>>>>who's gonna help me after surgery? I sure won't be able to do everything
>>>>for me and the baby while he sits in another room mad at me and sleeping
>>>>or watching TV. I really am at my end. I think on top of all this, we
>>>>gotta find some way to end this marriage...though we'll only be married
>>>>2 years this summer. I dunno, I really need some help, and advice, and
>>>>a shoulder to cry on pretty much. Since this is the only place where
>>>>anyone seems to care lately. And we don't even know each other! Stuff
>>>>like this really shows true colors of people in your life. It's
>>>>disheartening when you find out that they think your useless and
>>>>horrible for trying to get help and are scared. Anyways, sorry for
>>>>venting so horrible like this, but I need to get it out after yesterday.
>>>>Plus how can I possibly get through all the tests for MS, then face a
>>>>huge surgery like this alone? Except for my son n daughter, I feel
>>>>completely useless and alone.
>>>>
>>>>--
>>>>PennyDoll27@aol.com
>>>>Kris
>>>>
>>--
>>PennyDoll27@aol.com
>>Kris
>>
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