Re: Need Help.......Looks like hyst time.... :-( - To KRIS
From: Elisa (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Thu Mar 29 09:31:15 2007
Auh..Kris~
Sorry this Dr. has put you in this position. I am sure this isn't what
you want to hear but get rid of this Dr. Any Dr. who can go from A-Z
without trying dissection isn't worth touching you. That Dr. should be
perserving and not taking the path of least resistance. Your message
reflects that they don't want to do neither but what happens to all that
other active endo near or around the areas removed for the hysterectomy?
That right there tells me that you don't have someone who is taking the
time and precision needed to give you the best possible outcome.
I am sorry your husband is giving you such a tough time on this. I know
it's not acceptable but again you have to let him say and do what he
wishes. We need to get you through this. You carve out your path and
the rest will fall into place. Sounds like a lot of frustration and
fear coming out of him and more will fall on him if you go out for
surgery. If he won't take you do you have a close friend or neighbor to
get you there? If this was a trip to save your life would you let
someone else stop you? (I don't mean that in a bad way but in a
motivating way?) Everyone else sleeps at night and your in deep pain and
sick. You need to get the proper care.
I don't think seeing these other Dr.'s are going to be helpful until you
get this endo dealt with on a deep and proper level. Like with the MS
etc, there are way to many similar symptoms that are coming at you. If
you had your surgery and new for sure that it wasn't that it wuld be
different. You need all your Kris energy to get to the right Dr. and
let them help. I wish I could get there to help you :) I know how sad
and disheartining this can be but you can do it! Get mad, get sad, and
get proactive. It will come. You can be selfish right now because in
the end you will be doing all these other things for everyone else but
you. 2 years from now if these people are not around (not saying they
will or won't) but will you be happy with the choices you made today for
them or for you? That may help you clear this up a bit.
A good Endo Specialist is not in a hurry and can take the reigns and
lead you with this mess. I am sorry you are getting bounced around. I
am praying you will get back to that other Dr. someone suggested.
Pretty soon, your insurance, health or hubby may decide to pull this
option and you will have to settle and that endo can still be in there.
Take the time and do it right and go with a great Dr. I am saying all
this out of frustration for your situation and not you. Please know
that. Only you can change the course you are headed though. People
(including us) will only keep adding to your confusion if you don't make
a plan.
We care about you and are here for you. Please don't settle now and
don't give up. You have that little one and you to think about. I pray
your hubby will come around and help make this happen too. Simplify
this for him and tell him it's like a benign form of cancer. We take
cancer treating drugs, we get things cut out regularly from this disease
and we suffer in the same if not more pain than cancer patients. It
eats at our whole body systems and we have no control and there is no
cure and we will not die from it. You didn't choose this disease it
chose you. It's not anyone's fault it just is what it is...OK?
Keep me posted. Thinking of you..
--
Elisa
At Thu, 29 Mar 2007, PennyDoll wrote:
>
>I know a hyst won't solve anything. That's why I'm so aggrivated. And
>when I suggested that I have another lap done since I haven't had one
>since the baby, she said that if surgery is goin to be done it should be
>a hyst, and that there's no point to do a lap or excision or anything
>else to see how it is right now, since doing another surgery will just
>cause more scarring and adhesions and there's no point in that, and she
>won't suggest or do any smaller surgeries. That's why I was so upset,
>and my husband doesn't understand one bit of all this, so he flipped out
>when I didn't jump to "SURGERY TIME!!!! YAY!" He knows nothing about it
>except what I try to talk to him about, but thinks i'm holding out for
>drugs instead of doin a surgery that will "Cure me," and his response to
>my hesitance about having it done though it won't help is hitting my
>stomache and asking me "what do you need this for? You gonna have more
>kids?"..(pointing to my abdomen) Almost as if it's a completely un-need
>part of a women that's ok to just throw away. And that's his side of
>it..what do you need it for? Just get rid of it and have pain management
>later. Who cares about recovery, hormones, what else it can do to you,
>etc. And they both acted like I was crazy when asking for a lap to be
>done to go in to look and evaluate and get rid of some adhesions. I
>mean common, if you do a lap what's the difference of having hard core
>surgery for the removal of everything right? Well that's how it was
>stated and I looked like an idiot for asking something such as a lap or
>more evaluation before signing me up for surgey. And she was very blunt
>about it. This was a consultation and she just flat out said this or
>this, and no you don't need a lap and it won't be done. Choose pain
>meds then surgery later or vice-versa. Yet hubby storms out yelling at
>me that I'm a liar and indecisive and that I told him I was gonna go in
>and go straight to the hysterectomy, and am left there crying with a
>doctor who is blunt. Then being told in the car that I'm a lieing B***H
>who did a 180 from what I told him, and was talking out of my A$$ and no
>wonder why no doctor wants to treat me. Then told me that my old Ob
>that refused to do anything when bleeding and everything else that "they
>must of been happy and throwing a party when they found out you were
>leaving their office for the new ob! And did you hear them cheering in
>the backgroung?" I just can't believe this. So a dr who believes hyst
>is the only way, though she know it won't cure anything and will
>probably make it worse, and a "hubby" that is like this.
>
>As for Dr. Daiter I had to cancel for now.My hubby refuses to bring me
>since I can't drive and says i've been to enough doctors and just need
>to have surgery and what do I think he's gonna do for me? Nothing so
>just stop doctor searching. I'm not gonna find a miracle worker, and
>i'm tired of taking you doctor shopping. And was pretty much told if I
>don't have surgery and get it over with that I can move in with my mom
>or go somewhere else cause he's sick and tired of dealing with this
>problem and me. So I have no other way to get to Dr. Daiters. His mom
>offered me, but won't get in the middle of us, and he'll flip out on me
>big time. And my mom does absolutely nothing. Like I said she doesn't
>even know about the MS. Plus i'm out of work and have no money, and
>won't get approved for disability or anything else, though I worked my
>whole life and have never collected a dime. And my hubby just complains
>about me not at work and tells me I need to do something and just get
>back to work, otherwise leave since i'm lazy and contribute nothing.
>Taking care of the baby and the house and having health problems is
>nothing. I should have a full tiem job. Then pay for day care for
>someone to be with my son. In the back of my mind is if my ability to
>walk doesn't come back and I get worse or MS is found and is bad, will I
>have much more ability to care for my son normally?
>
>I just don't know what to do anymore. I may have to find a place to go.
>And if i do, my health doesn't mean anything if I don't have my son and
>i'm alone and have nothing else. Things have gotten to the very end for
>me. I never thought things could get worse. Then all my close friends
>are in FL where i'm from, and they're busy with their lives and family,
>and are tired of me griping. What do i do now? I had it. Nobody should
>ever ever ever have to have all this on their plate. And the only place
>i turn is here. I can't see a therapist or anything cause it's his
>insurance, and he doesn't believe in them or depression. I mean "what
>do i have to be depressed about with everything given to me and staying
>home watching movies on my butt and occassionally feeding the baby!"
>right? I have never felt lower or more worthless. Any suggestiong on
>what I can do, please help. I know i'm not in a healthy environment,
>but what do you do when there is NOTHING else, except the happiness your
>son brings you?
>
>At Thu, 29 Mar 2007, Lynn wrote:
>>
>>A hysterectomy WILL NOT cure your adhesions and endo - I had a partial
>>hysterectomy in 1998 - left one ovary and of course facing more endo
>>surgery - you need to schedule a good surgery for the doc to go in and
>>remove as MUCH adhesions and Endo as possible - if for instance he/she
>>goes in and there is NO chance of saving the ovary, ect then that be
>>removed - I would be leary of the doc saying HYSTERECTOMY 100% without
>>saying lets go in laporscopically take a look - you may have to have a
>>laporatomy so that i can get as much ick out as possible - then even
>>though I hate to say it - you might then need to take a class of
>>medication to supress the hormones for say 6 months - Usually a repro
>>endocrinolgist will NOT do a hysterectomy as their field is to preserve
>>not remove - usually he/she will refer you to a GYN for that type of
>>surgery.
>>You have had so much going on - Severe Bleeding Issues (I belive the
>>doctor was suppose to do some type of cervix testing) - abdominal pain -
>>and now the MS issues -
>>I know you have Been on the forever search for a compasionate doctor -
>>but please be cautious at 24 years old having a complete hysterectomy
>>with the doc telling you it will be a cure - at some point you will have
>>to take HRT and that will cause some endo adhesions issues as well - if
>>you do not take HRT you are facing a great deal of other complications
>>as well (bone loss ect).
>>I would retalk to the doctor - have a scope done or laporotomy and get
>>out what needs to get taken out - then deal with the MS issues -
>>We spoke in email and you stated you were going to see Dr. Daiter (who
>>is great) i would get a second opinon from him - he did a great job with
>>cleaning me out....
>>
>>At Thu, 29 Mar 2007, PennyDoll wrote:
>>>
>>>I dunno, went to the endocrinologist yesterday. Wasn't quite what I
>>>expected. Pretty much since I've done every treatment out there and
>>>never had and relief what so ever, even in pregnancy, that my adhesions
>>>are really bad and no matter what is done, i'm gonna be in pain for
>>>probably the rest of my life. So I was given 2 options. Go to pain
>>>management and see how they can help, and go to surgery later....or do
>>>surgery now and deal with pain management afterwards. I really did
>>>think there was going to be some trick up her sleeve for another option,
>>>but of course not. I guess we all hope for that one thing that works
>>>and doctors keep forgetting to tell us about. My hubby and I are
>>>fighting and he ended up flipping out on me in front of the doctor and
>>>walking out. Because at first I chose pain mngmt. and not surgery like
>>>I talked to him about numerous times. So that left me there lookin like
>>>a complete moron. On the way home I pretty much got told that I'm
>>>useless and lazy and just drug seeking and why bother goin to pain
>>>mngmt. to "seek more drugs to suck down". Wow, what great support. All
>>>because I've been to so many doctors who won't help, and don't wanna
>>>prescribe pain meds, and I've asked to go to pain mngmt in the past but
>>>I never would get help or the referral. So I guess this is how he
>>>truelly feels. And that I'm stupid to think pain mngmt will help since
>>>it's meant for "people trying to come off drugs, not for druggies like
>>>you to get bumped up higher and higher on stuff." I just can't believe
>>>it. So I got crap and yelling the whole day, while gettin blood for my
>>>neuro, setting up apts. for my MS tests, on the way to the
>>>endocrinologist, in her office and horribly on the way home. So if i'm
>>>not stressed or upset enough, this should help. And I don't have enough
>>>to cry or worry about. Now I'm alone. Not even my mother will answer
>>>the phone. She has no clue about my MS or the surgery. Today I gotta
>>>face that endoc again to talk about surgery and her methods and what
>>>not. He didnt understand that even though I've talked about a hyat many
>>>times, it's different when you're faced with it. And ya I did say pain
>>>mngmt cause I'm afraid of surgery, recovery, the pain, the time your
>>>disabled, plus bein 24 and going through such rouch hormonal changes and
>>>menopause. Plus I have a 2 1/2 month old son I take care of 24/7. And
>>>who's gonna help me after surgery? I sure won't be able to do everything
>>>for me and the baby while he sits in another room mad at me and sleeping
>>>or watching TV. I really am at my end. I think on top of all this, we
>>>gotta find some way to end this marriage...though we'll only be married
>>>2 years this summer. I dunno, I really need some help, and advice, and
>>>a shoulder to cry on pretty much. Since this is the only place where
>>>anyone seems to care lately. And we don't even know each other! Stuff
>>>like this really shows true colors of people in your life. It's
>>>disheartening when you find out that they think your useless and
>>>horrible for trying to get help and are scared. Anyways, sorry for
>>>venting so horrible like this, but I need to get it out after yesterday.
>>>Plus how can I possibly get through all the tests for MS, then face a
>>>huge surgery like this alone? Except for my son n daughter, I feel
>>>completely useless and alone.
>>>
>>>--
>>>PennyDoll27@aol.com
>>>Kris
>>>
>--
>PennyDoll27@aol.com
>Kris
>
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