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Re: NEED SUPPORT - GETTING READY TO BE ON LUPRON TREATMENTS
From: Lisa (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Thu Jul 27 16:38:37 2006
Inny,
I really appreciate your response. The ideas that you gave me, I have
already tried. Our regular doctor who we have had for 6 years now, (she
is also the one that knows everything that is going on with me), has
tried to explain to him while I was at my last visit, before she sent me
to the specialist. I try to sit down with him several times. It just
is not working. I have even been accused of having an affair, because I
don't want to have sex. I try telling him all the time that it is not
him, that it is the pain, plus for some reason these past couple of
years my sex drive has gone way down. My husband has always been a very
sexually active person, me on the other hand have not (probally due to
what I went through as a teenager), but even when we first go together
he knew how I was. Yes we used to have sex at least 4 times a week, but
now we have 3 kids with the oldest being almost 8 & the youngest being
almost 2, & I am going through this crap. I always ask why me? I am not
a bad person at all. I will keep those website in mind though, maybe if
I put it in front of his face he would actually sit & look at it. The
doc & I have even tried showing him pics, so he can see what it does. I
don't know, it is just so frustrating. I would love to keep in contact
with you. I am not sure if you can get into my profile & start emailing
or not. If not let me know & I will drop you an email with my email
address. Thanks again for listening & giving me your suggestions. Take
Care! - Lisa in KC
At Thu, 27 Jul 2006, anonymous@obgyn.net wrote:
>
>Lisa,
>
>I'm so sorry you have to go through all that, and I'm sorry that the
>horrible thing happened to you while you were still so young (I can
>totally relate to that, something similar has happened to me too). I
>will offer some of my thoughts after reading your post and maybe you can
>find what works for you...or at least think about what I have to say.
>
>Maybe it could help sitting down with your husband, explaining him
>gently what Endo is, and how painful it is for you, or even taking him
>with you straight into the doctors office while you have one of your
>Endo exams, so that he can hear it all from the doctor, have you thought
>about that? That way he would take you way more seriously. The doctor
>can explain how much pain sex can cause for women in your condition. You
>have given him three children, you both are so lucky and he should be
>very grateful. A lot of women with Endo can't ever have kids.
>
>I would not go as far as kicking him out, at this time of your life you
>need all the help you can get, and who better to give it than someone
>you love and who loves you, no matter how not-understanding he might be
>now...there are ways to make him understand. Please consider asking him
>to help you out through these difficult times, explaining what you are
>going through and generally not letting Endo ruin your relationship (for
>your sake and children's, if this is the only problem - the
>misunderstanding about Endo). Instead - try to get him on your side!!
>
>Most of all - whatever you do, try and minimize stress in your life,
>because Endo, and chronic pain, seem to feed on stress and it will just
>hurt more.
>
>As far as Lupron, I have been on it for the past 3 months and it didn't
>ruin me or anything. A few side-effects, which I gritted my teeth and
>had to bear with (like sweating, swelling, mood changes) but in the end
>it's worth to try it. You can't know whether it will help you unless
>you try. If in your case it doesn't help and it gives you horrific
>side-effects then you can stop. When I'm in pain I'll try anything they
>offer, just to give me some relief. So don't be afraid, there are many
>cases where Lupron helps a lot.
>
>Here are some websites that deal with men, and their coping with women
>with Endo:
>
>http://www.geocities.com/hotsprings/spa/8449/
>
>http://www.jenniferlewis.com/men.htm
>
>Good Luck!! If you ever need to vent or talk, my email is my username,
>feel free to write as much as you want.
>
>Inny.
>
>At Wed, 26 Jul 2006, Lisa wrote:
>>
>>I am just looking for someone to respond or talk to. I was told 5 years
>>ago that my pain was from scar tissue from my first child(i had a
>>c-section), 2 laoroscopies later, I had a doctor tell me I was making up
>>the pain. When I got pregnant with my last 2 children it went away
>>while I was pregnant, then just like after the surgeries it came back 3
>>months later. Personally I am tired of not being able to play with my
>>kids, laying on the couch in pain all the time, being tired, fatigued,
>>and taking pain meds. Next month I am starting the Lupron treatment &
>>was wondering if anyone has taken that & how it helped or not helped. I
>>am tired of my husband forcing the issue on sex, when he knows it is
>>painfull, or better yet telling me that I am using my medical issues as
>>an excuse not to make love to him, or him telling me I am making it out
>>to be worse than it really is. Is there any online support groups for
>>husbands? Maybe if he heard from other men, he would seem to understand
>>more. Cause me telling him every day what I am going through is getting
>>old. It is like he asks me everyday what is wrong & everyday it is the
>>same answer, but it seems to be that he is not even trying to understand
>>or even listen when I tell him. Please HELP!!! How do I cope with this.
>>It is hard being 25 with 3 kids & dealing with the endo & my husband.
>>These past 6 months or so, I have even thought of us splitting up, cause
>>I just can't take the forcing of having sex, or even waking up with him
>>on top of me. I was raped as a teenager, & I have tried to explain to
>>him not only is it painful due to what I am going through, but also when
>>you are sleeping, & you wake up with someone one top of you, it makes
>>you first think that someone is raping you again. You would never think
>>that the person you married & love so much & that is supposed to love
>>you back would do something like that. He does this at least 3 maybe 4
>>times a week & personally I get more & more discusted with him each
>>time, to where I don't even want to show any affection to him, even if
>>it is not sexual. I NEED HELP - ANY SUGGESTIONS ON HOW TO HANDLE THIS?
>>
>>--
>>Lisa - Painfull in Kansas City
>>
--
Lisa in KC
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