ENDO Messages for June, 2006: Re: Too tired ~ To: The 3 am Pacer ; )

Re: Too tired ~ To: The 3 am Pacer ; )

From: Dena (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Thu Jun 29 13:59:41 2006

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In reply to: anonymous: "Too tired"
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Dear Anonymous,

I hope you've been able to get some sleep by now. Please try to rest every chance you get so that when nights like that come, you can make it through ok.

Your post brought tears to my eyes. I'm sitting here at two p.m. and in so much pain I can hardly do anything I have to do. My pain keeps slowly creeping... getting worse and worse.... the bad stuff arrives earlier and earlier in the days now... I take morphine for my pain constantly, and usually just a percocet at night for breakthrough pain when the day has taken it's toll. I'm now taking them earlier and earlier, and breaking my pills so I can take one and a half, hoping it will actually help the pain - but it doesn't.

It's so easy to let this disease bring us down. I can feel myself becoming more and more depressed lately as the pain gets worse again and I can't help thinking that another useless laparotomy is in my near future. We have to try to snap out of the "why me?" thoughts and stop thinking we're being punished for something. I've asked myself that for years. Finally I have come to terms with thinking that I am not being punished for anything. I am a good person who is just being tested. I'm not sure of the reason I'm being tested, but I'm confident that the answer to that question will come some day. :)

For now, we have to send out as many ((hugs)) as we can to our fellow sisters who are suffering with us. We stay here on this forum to help each other and be there for each other, because that is all we can do. (That and, of course, helping to educate others about endo.) This is my therapy.

I will keep you in my thoughts, anonymous. I hope you find some relief somehow soon. Until then, maybe try cuddling up with my 3 am friend.. the heating pad. My cats like to stay close by when I use it too! They like the warmth. ;)

At Thu, 29 Jun 2006, anonymous wrote: >
>I am awake at 3am. The pain is so severe that I am pacing the floors. I
>am crying quietly so that I do not wake my husband or the kids. My cats
>pace with me, my only company. I am too tired of the pain, too tired of
>the drugged feeling, too tired to go on. I cannot seek medical care
>that I cannot afford. The pain-killers do not help, the diet makes me
>ill. I pray, but the answers are not forthcoming. Am I being punished?
>Am I meant to be in this living hell of constant misery? I hurt so bad,
>I cannot take much more. The pain keeps getting worse. Now I must pace
>some more, and hope to exhaust myself.

--
Dena

Next message: Kris: "Re: How many here suffer endo after age 50? How old are you? poll"
Previous message: Alyson: "Re: How many here suffer endo after age 50? How old are you? poll"
In reply to: anonymous: "Too tired"
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