Re: Cheese with our whine
From: Amy (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Thu Jun 15 11:44:45 2006
Hang in there Suzie! You are NOT a whiner! I know where you are coming
from, as I also feel like all I do is complain and often just blow it
off when asked just to not sound like a broken record. However, it is
not like any of us are whining for the heck of it. Endo is a
devastating disease that takes over all aspects of our lives and I say
we have a right to whine and everyone else can just get over it! I've
had more than one person doubt I am really as sick as I say and even had
family members (in-laws) tell me they thought I was exaggerating until
they finally realized after 3 surguries that I was serious. I don't
think it helps any of us that many people have no idea what endo is and
just think we suffer from bad periods. Don't I wish that was the only
issue I had!
I hope you can at least find comfort in knowing you have many endo
sisters who understand. I have posted off and on to this forum for
going on 10 years and there have been many days I think I would have
been insane had I not been able to vent to women who really get it. I
am lucky to have a now very supportive family and a wonderful hubby who
is always there for me. I too hate to burden him but he always knows
when I am feeling off so lying about it doesn't do me any good. I don't
have any children by choice, not by the disease, but it must be so hard
to put on a brave face for the little ones.
I don't know how I have gone on with this for so long. I am a lot
stronger than I ever thought I would be and just try to take advantage
of the good days when I have them. The old saying of "what doesn't kill
you makes you stronger" is true for me. Endo has turned me into a woman
of steel! I just somehow manage to muddle through the bad days and
work/excercise/play, etc like a mad woman on the days it is tolerable.
Keep your chin up and feel free to email me direct anytime you want to
"whine". We'll just have one big party! You bring the "wine" and I'll
come up with a cheese plate!
Hugs!
Amy
At Sun, 11 Jun 2006, Suzie wrote:
>
>Do any of you feel like all you ever do anymore is whine? I'm not
>usually a complainer, but I feel like I can't deal with this anymore. My
>Gyn asked me to type up a list of all my symptoms before my appt, my
>list was two pages long using a 12pt font! After the prescriptions he
>put me on, I had to add an additional third page.
>When I see friends, I always tell them I'm fine, then they get mad when
>someone else tells them what's going on with me. If I truthfully answer
>how I really feel, they get that glazed eye look, like "Why did I ask,
>all I wanted to hear was 'fine, and you?'"
>Family is just as bad. My mom keeps getting anxiety attacks if I tell
>her the truth, or upset if I sugarcoat it. My husband really wants to
>know, but I feel so bad complaining to him when he drags in from working
>the overnight shift. He doesn't need the extra burden. My babies don't
>understand why Mommy is popping pills like they're sweet-tarts.
>After my last doc visit, I quit talking about any of it. Then everyone
>was assuming that the pills had fixed me when in fact I felt worse than
>before. I actually had someone say in my hearing "just wait, she'll
>pull that endo card to keep from having to help" Grrrr...
>I started an online diary to put down my thoughts, feelings, emotion,
>pain, symptoms, etc... the idea being that those who cared could read
>it, those who don't can be happy with the "fine" and a fake smile. After
>the first few entries, I cancelled it because I was depressing myself
>beyond belief.
>My pastor actually called to see how soon I could schedule the surgery,
>they have a revival coming up in July and wanted to make sure I was up
>to par in time to work nursery. I explained that finances have pushed
>it back till November. He responds, "Great, we don't have to pay
>somebody if you're available for free." I am really feeling the love
>today.
>My two friends with endo don't seem very bothered by it. They both get
>a little crampy and a little cranky around their monthlies. Are they
>Superwomen? Am I this totally wimpy person who doesn't deserve to be a
>woman?
>Sorry for all the griping, I know you girls truly understand what no one
>else can. How do ya'll deal with all this for so long? I try to keep
>smiling through it all, but sometimes it feels like my smile is broke,
>or lost or something. Only my kids can keep me happy. I pray and feel
>better till the next person starts up. Whine or not to whine? What do
>ya'll do? Please help me to be a quieter endo sufferer.
>
>Dom Perignon or Bartles & James?
>Suzie
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