ENDO Messages for April, 2006: Re: 'DEAR LORETTA'

Re: 'DEAR LORETTA'

From: loretta (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Wed Apr 26 15:26:04 2006

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In reply to: Shell: "'DEAR LORETTA'"

At Wed, 26 Apr 2006, Shell wrote: >
>SORRY IF I HIT A SORE SPOT.I TOO KNOW HOW IT FEELS.THE WORST FOR ME WAS
>RECENTLY THERE WAS A MAN I WAS INTERESTED IN,I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE TO
>HAVE A PARTNER LOVE ME.ANYWAYS IT WAS AT A SOCIAL GATHERING.HE CAME OVER
>TO ME AND I THOUGHT WE WOULD START TO TALK,I WAS EXITED ABOUT THE
>POSSIBILITY OF A LOVING MAN IN MY LIFE,AND HE SAID,"OH HOW FAR ALONG ARE
>YOU"I DIDN'T RESPOND OUT OF SHOCK AND BURST INTO TEARS AND LEFT.THE REST
>OF THE NIGHT I WAS UPSET AND CAME DOWN REAL HARD ON MYSELF.EVEN TOLD
>MYSELF I WOULD NEVER GET A HUSBAND.
>SO YOU SEE THE LITTLE BOY INSIDENT WAS A WAY FOR ME TO DEAL WITH IT.IT'S
>CRY OR LAUGH AT THIS POINT FOR ME.I TRY NOW TO REMEMBER THAT PEOPLE
>DON'T KNOW WHATS GOING ON WITH ME AND THEIR NOT TRYING TO BE
>INSENSITIVE.IT'S HARD BECAUSE OUR HORMONES ARE SO WACKED THAT WE'RE ARE
>LIKE ULTRA SENSITIVE.I'M TRYING TO LEARN HOW TO TURN THAT ENERGY INTO
>SOMETHING POSITIVE AND COMPASSIONATE.
>WE DON'T HAVE TO TELL PEOPLE WHAT'S GOING ON,ESPECIALLY STRANGERS,I
>GUESS IT DEPENDS ON THE SITUATION,BUT I'VE BEEN TELLING MORE PEOPLE AND
>AM SURPRISED AT THE EMPATHETIC AND CARING RESPONSES.
>SO OFTEN I FEEL THAT THIS DISEASE RUNS MY WHOLE EXISTANCE.LATELY I'VE
>BEEN FOCUSING ON MY SPIRITUAL FAITH AND IT'S HELPING ME RELAX MORE.
>THANKS TO WOMEN LIKE YOU I DON'T FEEL ALONE.LAST TIME I WENT FOR SURGERY
>I WAS ALONE AT IT MADE ME SOOOO SAD,BUT WHEN I CAME OUT I REALIZED THAT
>IF AND WHEN I LEAVE THIS WORLD I WILL BE ALONE.SO IN A WAY FEELING THIS
>LOW HAS MADE ME REALIZE THAT I NEED TO TAKE SHELTER IN GOD BECAUSE I
>CAN'T TAKE SHELTER IN DR.S OR ANYONE ELSE.I DON'T WANT TO BE SCARED OUT
>OF MY MIND ANYMORE,I WANT TO LIVE WHILE I'M HERE AND I'VE DECIDED THAT
>EVEN IF MY BODY GIVES OUY AND BECOMES WEAKER I WANT MY SPIRIT TO BE
>STRONG.GOD BLESS YOU AND THANX.

--
Hi Sell,
It is so nice to have one who understand.
 I too in the beginning went through all this alone.
My mother was ANYTHING but supportive, even when I had anaphylactic shock and
died. She didn't even come to the hosp all that week I was in ICU,
(she had to work).
Please know that you are not alone now! Even though physically this may be the
 case, (if I could and I knew anyone was alone during surgery's I would do my
 best to be there for each one)!, however, I/we are here this way now.
It only takes a note to have someone be here for you! AND MEAN IT!
I too have great faith in a higher spirit!, My faith and spirituality had been
the only thing that has been there and kept me alive and soothed me while facing
 death. Since I have opened that door I have never felt alone,
(maybe lonely, but never alone), if you can relate. ;)
A faith in a higher power and the realization that NOTHING ever happens without
 some divine reason we may just not understand at that moment, makes going thru
 some things just a little easier.
I can't count the times things have happened that I have been completely lost as
 to the reason something like that would have needed to happen, however,
 sometime down the road it all adds up and I see the wisdom of the lesson.
 Or how something so unbelievably good happens that couldn't of with out that
bad thing happening first! It is a blessing, I now watch open minded to see what
 the result is after some major happening in my life.
 It is kinda fun now!.
I am getting ever so much better in dealing with others when they make their
comments.
 I am sorry that one you spoke to hurt you so. I wonder what Karma is bringing
 to you in place of that? There is some reason that did not work, perhaps the
one you will meet that is your soul mate is a little jealous and wouldn't have
understood your past relationship with that man!, Perhaps somewhere he had 4
kids he abandoned and they are tracking him down for child support and he will
be broke for the rest of his life! WHO knows!! LOL!! :)
Have a great day and hope you are pain free and taking advantage of this
 beautiful spring air!
All the best and prayer's*** Loretta

Next message: loretta: "Re: Just got my records...if I knew then what I know now"
Previous message: kirsty: "Re: Pain All Month - Poll"
In reply to: Shell: "'DEAR LORETTA'"

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