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Re: I cried nonstop when I saw my therapist last night...
From: Alyson (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Tue Mar 21 11:57:07 2006
Brenda,
I am on my way to see my therapist tonight. The last thing she said to
me when I saw her last week is that I need to allow myself to ackowledge
the loss this disease creates and that it is OK to be sad. I always
have such difficulty with this because I don't want to be percieved as
"feeling sorry for myself". And I am terrified of being weak. I am
really glad you are talking to someone. I am finding it helpful in a
way that talking to my friends, and even my husband, can't be.
Alyson
At Tue, 21 Mar 2006, Brenda wrote:
>
>Jenny,
>Hang in there. Your not alone. I feel the same way. Don't give up.
>Email me anytime if you need to talk.
>Brenda
>At Tue, 21 Mar 2006, Jenny wrote:
>>
>>I'm deeply, deeply afraid of the future. The pain, infertility
>>problems, but above all, how will I support myself if the pain gets
>>unbearably bad? The pain is everyday for me now, but if it gets horrible
>>terrible, how am I going to support myself?! Because I looked at the SSI
>>website and endo is not recognized as a disability. Chronic fatigue
>>syndrome and depression are, but not endo. I guess the endo could drive
>>me to fatigue and depression.
>>
>>My therapist suggested that I look online for a job where I could work
>>from home, like transcribing for a doctor. That is a good idea so I'm
>>going to start looking.
>>
>>I have my bachelor's degree, and I never thought with my degree that I
>>would have to live with my dad and think about getting food stamps and
>>other help from the gov't. I'm 33 years old. Who is going to want to
>>marry me. I don't have the energy and ambition to be a normal wife and
>>mom. I feel like a big blob who consumes resources from the earth and
>>those around me and I feel like I don't give back much. Like there is
>>lots of input to me and not a lot of output from me. I feel like a
>>waste sometimes. But I don't look at others this way. Like yall or
>>anyone else who has a disability who can't work. I just feel like poor
>>me right now, I guess.
>>
>>Usually I'm so positive on this forum and otherwise. Thanks for
>>listening. Let me know please if you know of a real legitimate place to
>>work from home.
>
>--
>Brenda
>
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