ENDO Messages for February, 2006: Re: how to tell the new boyfriend.

Re: how to tell the new boyfriend.

From: Jennifer (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Tue Feb 28 16:34:26 2006

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In reply to: Staci: "how to tell the new boyfriend."

Staci, First of all, welcome back. Let me just say, what a difficult position to be in and I understand your confusion over what to do. My husband and I have known each other for about 8 years, but were apart for a few, during that time I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia (another chronic, painful disease). When he and I got back together I explained it to him the best I could and gave him a book to read about it -- the book was actually written by a man whose wife was chronically ill (I believe she had fibromyalgia, but it applies to a lot of things). As soon as I knew he and I cared about one another and may have a future I felt the need to tell him. I also knew that if we had a future he had to know and also had to accept me as I was. I'd hate to say that although this is very heavy stuff to deal with (esp. the kids part), he had to know and accept it all in order to be there for the long haul. I encourage you to print out some info for him, maybe find something written by a husband -- it's better to make him understand how this affects him. Obviously your pain will affect him, but not directly. He needs to see what impact this will have on his life other than taking care of you now and then. Of course, this is all just my opinion and advice. This is alot to deal with. I wish you luck either way and hope to hear from you soon about how it all goes. By the way, I'm also 23. =)

At Tue, 28 Feb 2006, Staci wrote: >
>I have been seeing someone for over 4 months now, very seriously. My
>pervious boyfriend new all about my endo, but I have been dealing with
>it on my own for the last 3 years. How do you explain to someone new
>what this is? I have only told him that I am “not normal”, that I have
>been on the pill since 7th grade because of endometriosis. When he asks
>what that means I don’t really know what to say besides I am “f___ed
>up”, he knows that I don’t have normal periods, that I am in pain, that
>I have had abnormal paps and many drs visits- but I am mostly afraid to
>tell him about the threat to my fertility that this disease causes. How
>do you tell someone that you might want to marry that you are pretty
>sure that you cant have his kids! Is it too soon to bring up these kinds
>of things? I feel like I have a huge secret that I need to tell him but
>I am afraid that its too soon. Any advise? (I am 23 by the way, he is
>28.)
>
>(PS, the last time I visited this forum was in 2001)
>
>-Staci

Next message: Jennifer: "Re: Anyone found that your pelvic pain was from Interstitial Cystisis--To Jamie"
Previous message: Nicole: "Re: A poem for us all"
In reply to: Staci: "how to tell the new boyfriend."

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