ENDO Messages for February, 2006: Re: how to tell the new boyfriend.

Re: how to tell the new boyfriend.

From: Sudsey (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Tue Feb 28 07:54:07 2006

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Staci~ It's never easy to tell anyone yet not easy to keep to ourselves either. People who love us for all the right reasons will find a way to understand and cope with our reality and if not I have to wonder are they worth it then? He loves you for you not because you have or do not have endo. He knows you have it even if he doesn't fully grasp it all and he's apparently still with you..Maybe print up some information and let him read it. even though Endo can mess with fertility don't count the chickens before they hatch. None of us know when the cure is to arrive for this disease and new treatments to combat the fertility aspects are always evolving. I thought when I was first diagnosed with endo it meant instant infertility so was I ever shocked when my labs for pre op came back saying I was pregnant.I called my Gyn a liar on the phone when he told me we had to cancel the surgery b/c I was pregnant, I seriously thought he was kidding me and he wasn't.. Many ladies with Endo have a child. Yes the reality of it being a threat is there but don't give the disease that power until you know for certain it will complicate that. I'd tell him that you do not know at this point but for some women it has meant that while others have had children and leave that door open and then ask if that would be an issue if that came to that or if he would ever consider adopting or other means of having a child. If you don't ask now and go through pre marriage counseling they ask it then at leaste they did when I got married. to some men it's not a big deal to some it is but you wont know until you ask. I certainly wouldn't put the damper on the subject and be all negative in assuming that you wont be able to have children b/c like many of us know miracles do happen in that department.. Some wait what seems like far too long and almost give up on the idea and then it happens so don't set your frame of mind up to ensure that outcome for yourself. Think posative and tell your body you will.. A dear Friend of mine has two children and endo I have endo and 5 children. I wish you all the best in this world in telling your boyfriend.. Sudsey

At Tue, 28 Feb 2006, Staci wrote: >
>I have been seeing someone for over 4 months now, very seriously. My
>pervious boyfriend new all about my endo, but I have been dealing with
>it on my own for the last 3 years. How do you explain to someone new
>what this is? I have only told him that I am “not normal”, that I have
>been on the pill since 7th grade because of endometriosis. When he asks
>what that means I don’t really know what to say besides I am “f___ed
>up”, he knows that I don’t have normal periods, that I am in pain, that
>I have had abnormal paps and many drs visits- but I am mostly afraid to
>tell him about the threat to my fertility that this disease causes. How
>do you tell someone that you might want to marry that you are pretty
>sure that you cant have his kids! Is it too soon to bring up these kinds
>of things? I feel like I have a huge secret that I need to tell him but
>I am afraid that its too soon. Any advise? (I am 23 by the way, he is
>28.)
>
>(PS, the last time I visited this forum was in 2001)
>
>-Staci

Next message: Jenny: "Re: Endometriosis"
Previous message: Jenny: "Re: New Here - a little long...JoCee"
In reply to: Staci: "how to tell the new boyfriend."
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