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Re: Family Pain Management

From: Angie (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Mon Feb 27 21:09:48 2006

JoCee,

With the day that I have had I might not be the best to give you any kind of advice so take it with a grain of salt.

My fiance and I have our problems with my Endo sometimes but when I am going through severe pain he is my angel. He comes upstairs when I want him (we use baby monitors lol) and he'll do anything for me that he thinks may help me. He brings my drinks if I want them, he brings my meds to me, he holds my hand, he'll rub my tummy...anything I want, even leave me alone when I tell him to get out. He'll do absolutely anything.

I know some men just are not like that. I'd think of something that cause men a tremndous amount of pain (like passing a kidney stone...real painful for men) and tell him that the pain you have can sometimes be worse than the that. And I believe that is one of the most painful things for men. Tell him that you need those days to yourself and he needs to be there. And if he wants to take a three hour trip to the store, take the kids. You just can not be "mommy" on those days. If he doesn't start to help out on these days then i would check into a motel for the day/night. Force him to take control of the children when you can not. Or go to your parents or something. Rest somewhere else.

Oh, who takes care of the children when you are at work? If a babysitter, have hubby drop them off even though you are home. Just some ideas.

Hugs to ladies who need them. 

--
Angie


At Mon, 27 Feb 2006, JoCee wrote:
>
>How are most of you dealing with your kids when your endo flares up?
>Knowing how my pain medication knocks me out or makes me loopy I try not
>to take anything while I am with my kids and if I do it's half of the
>pill.  My husband acts like my being home is a vacation day instead of a
>sick day.  I end up here alone watching the kids when my reasons for
>being home is to rest and get through the flare up; but he acts like my
>being here is a sign for him to hit the pavement.
>
>My kids seem to take advantage of the fact that mom doesn't feel well
>and that mom can't get down the hall fast enough or move about the house
>keeping an accurate check on things.  If I am confined to my bed because
>I am hurting, I can feel the house rocking, I can hear them fighting, I
>can hear them arguing, and my little one constantly rummages in things
>she shouldn't.
>
>When my husband returns 4 or 5 hours later rather than what should've
>been a 30 minute trip to the store, he looks at me and says, "What's
>wrong with you? Why do you act like you're mad?" Those are the moments
>in our sweet marriage that I'd like to run him over with the car and
>laugh like some psychotic nut and back up and do it again and say, "I'm
>sorry...  Is there something wrong, honey? You sound a little upset.  I'm
>sorry...  Did you say something, honey?"
>
>And asking someone to watch my kids because I am hurting is a joke.  I
>always hear, "Where is your husband at?" or "Where is their father?".  To
>get someone to watch my kids for me for a couple of hours at their house
>or even just come over and sit here with them so I can take something
>for pain I'd have to pay them to do it and to bring up how many times
>I've helped them out when they've had the flu or some other problem is
>not even worth mentioning.
>
>--
>JoCee
>



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