Re: About having surgery or not ... take a look ...to nicole
From: anonymous@obgyn.net
Wed Feb 22 16:58:31 2006
Nicole,
I can relate with you on the pain meds. I've worked in nursing for 7
years
and in my experience I've seen many an addict come through the door
looking
for pain meds. Most of them, if you can believe this, are people who
cannot
get things like Medicaid, can't work because of the pain they are in, so
they use the pain meds to cover up the problem to get through each day.
Not
all people that take a pain pill are self-addicts, most are what I like
to
call "conditional addicts", meaning that they never became addicted to
the
pill for recreation, they just became addicted by masking the pain with
the
pill. It doesn't make them a bad person at all and for anyone who has
never
been there, it's easy to lay blame and cast out judgment.
As for how we are looked at at our age... I could not agree with you
more.
I am 29 and I have been struggling with endo and ovarian cysts for 4 1/2
years undiagnosed thinking that my pain was ovulation and nothing more.
I've been to several doctors and ER's about the pain only to be treated
like
some sort of junkie and pushed away with Tylenol or Aleve. It wasn't
until
I left for work doubled over from the pain and demanded that someone
take a
look that I found out what was going on with me. Now Doctors are
patting me
on the shoulder saying things like, "No wonder you're in so much pain."
Yes
I am in pain. I function a little better than most people I know around
me
because I have built a tolerance for it as its grown worse; but there
are
days that I can't stand it and I do take something strong to ease it.
At first I thought I wanted surgery so that I could go on with my life,
but
after talking with other women around me whose doctor's talked them into
surgery at such a young age, it made me want to know all the options.
Fortunately for me, I found a doctor that agreed with my decision. I'm
not
saying this to freak you out, but like you I wanted to scream surgery
from
the highest mountain top because I wanted the pain over with. When I
talked
with a friend of mine that is 44, she told me she had had a complete
hysterectomy when she was 30 and she wished she had waited until she was
35.
Not a big stickler on pain meds, she said she'd rather have lived 5 more
years taking them and then had the hysterectomy rather than have the
surgery
so young. She said her body went through dramatic changes after
surgery.
Her desire to have sex faded; her face and skin became dry; her bones
became
thinner and more brittle; her breasts began to droop; she developed
facial
hair; and she aged faster. At 44 she looks like she's about 53. Another
friend of mine is the same age as me, she's 29, and she had a complete
hysterectomy. To look at her you would think she's 38.
It is your body and you have every right to make the best decision for
yourself. No one knows the pain you are in or what the troubles are
like
for you dealing with this. I understand this is a big decision for you,
as
it will be for me too if the options I am trying right now don't prove
successful; but either way we are all going through this with you and we
are
here for you. Your decision is yours and yours alone and the only
person
who knows what's right for you, is you. I wish you the best on whatever
you
decide and please keep us updated on how you're doing.
JoCee27
At Wed, 22 Feb 2006, kirsty wrote:
>
>Presume it my post that offended you Nicole it was directed at noone in
>particular and just wanted to let people know docs aint always right i
>in excruciating pain on loadsa pain meds often faint pain is that severe
>it is agony docs says my insides are now 1 big mass of lesions but i
>would rather struggle on didnt mean to offend anyone sorry
>At Wed, 22 Feb 2006, falacia wrote:
>>
>>Hi Nicole ~
>>I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with everything. It really is
>>unfortunate. I don't recall reading that anyone has told you not to
>>have surgery but I could be mistaken. I have decided to have a
>>hysterectomy myself but do not have nearly as many problems as you have
>>described yourself to be having. I have received lots of replies and
>>advice since I posted my decision on this forum but don't think anyone
>>has meant to offend or upset me in any way. I think everyone just wants
>>to make sure that you are aware of all of the options and have tried
>>everything before having such a serious surgery. We are all different
>>and have different experiences, even if they are identical, we still
>>experience them in different ways. Did that make any sense?! :) lol!
>>I'm kinda loopy.
>>
>>I think what I'm trying to say is that everyone here is very supportive
>>and only wants the best for each other. In the end, we all deal with
>>pain and having to make difficult decisions about what is best for
>>ourselves. And what is best for ourselves is not always what someone
>>else would choose for themselves given the same options. I don't think
>>anyone is trying to tell you what you should do, only trying to give
>>information and ideas to make sure you have covered all of your bases.
>>Since we don't always know everyone's full history we just try to bring
>>up points that someone maybe hasn't thought of yet. I hope I'm right,
>>guys. This is how I see things anyway. :)
>>
>>I'm sorry to hear about your experiences with your daughter. I can only
>>imagine how heartbreaking that is for you to go through. It is sad when
>>people shut out a biological parent from a child's life. I don't know
>>your whole situation but I feel no matter what it is that the child's
>>best interests should come first and you are her mother so shouldn't be
>>shut out of her life completely. All I can say is, don't give up and
>>hopefully one day things will get better. Maybe once you have taken
>>care of yourself and are feeling stronger you can focus more of your
>>energy on repairing relationships with your family or extended family.
>>
>>I hope this has helped in some way. I haven't intended to offend in any
>>way if I have (I don't think I have but who knows since I'm kinda out of
>>it). I hope you can find some peace of mind soon and can feel better
>>soon. Best of luck to you and lots of (((hugs))). You seem to need the
>>support. :)
>>Falacia
>>
>>At Wed, 22 Feb 2006, Nicole wrote:
>>>
>>>I know about thinking twice or not about having surgery. Hell, I
>>>thought about it a long time ago because I was giving up, but I found
>>>women on here that told me success stories that were in the same boat as
>>>I was. Plus my doctor is great and told me not to jump ahead. He has
>>>done everything he could, and thought of other options, talked to other
>>>specialists about me racking his brain, I know him so well and his
>>>office, it's almost like a second family....ha ha. He told me a long
>>>time ago that he never wanted to turn to surgery since im so young
>>>unless it's the absolute last resort. So I tried all the tests, was on
>>>Synarel, been on too many pain meds for a 23 year old that most people
>>>are frightened since they would knock out a horse, and I'm runnin out of
>>>options. Well, unfortunately I was unlucky. I told doctors for years I
>>>was in pain and the problems I had. Always told I was too young, and
>>>probably just searching for drugs. I even found notes on my own files
>>>saying "liar" "pit tp get drugs" "Calls too much about pain problems"
>>>and "do not schedule her for at least another 2 months". So by the time
>>>I was finally taken seriously, I was 22 last year. So I lost alot of
>>>chances I might of had might someone of taken me seriously. I never
>>>gave up hope tho. I tried different IVF/Endo Specialists all over. But
>>>it's too late. It's taken over my body too much. Trust me, I knew I'd
>>>have to face surgery one day, but two weeks ago when I finally had to
>>>sign papers to start the surgery procrss, I just froze and cried and
>>>felt like the world was collapsing. I'm only goin to be 23 for about 13
>>>days before I have to go through all this. Not something I want. If I
>>>could wait and see, and go on for a few years until I met someone or
>>>could even just do it myself, I would. But I can't. I do have a
>>>daughter that I had when I was 17, but I don't have her. I had to turn
>>>over custody to his parents since I had no support from anyone, and
>>>tried to work to get her back, but she'll be 6 and never got on my own.
>>>Not even government help. So this is twice as hard. Not only will I
>>>never have the feeling of another child in me, but my daughter is just
>>>like a friend to me. They've taught her to call me by my first name,
>>>them mommy and daddy, and have started to keep her from me. For all of
>>>you who are looking at surgery, I say go buy your circumstances. If you
>>>have the chance, and want it...do all you can to hold off the endo until
>>>you get it. If not, there's sometimes nothing you can do like in my
>>>spot. Or there are those of you who don't want children and either way
>>>it works out. So for the people who had other chances and got another
>>>child after bein told they need surgery, I am envyous of you and wish
>>>you luck. But for some people, we have no other choice, and need
>>>support for the surgery we have no option to. I'm sorry if I sound like
>>>a complete bitch. I'm just in horrible pain, having nightmares and
>>>screaming, lost my husband, have no support from practically anyone, and
>>>I'm just scared. I need support, not to tell me not to have surgery, or
>>>that i'll regret it. That just makes it worse. I'm sorry....just my
>>>thoughts.
>>>
>>>--
>>>Irish Baby Doll
>>>
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