Re: No Sex With Endo
From: Amy (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Mon Jan 30 19:39:58 2006
I found out last week that I apparently don't have endo, but have all
the symptoms, and also cannot have sex due to it being painful. My
boyfriend has been very understanding and helpful with me through all of
this, and when it comes to sex, I know I sound stupid, but I am happy to
know he is still getting satisfied, even though I would LOVE to as well.
The way I see it is this, in my situation, I know that I can't do
anything with him right now, and I know he has a high sex drive, and I
wish I could help more with him (sometimes I do) but most the time I
cant or wont do anything to help. I have caught him masterbating many
times, but for some strange reason, it doesnt bother me. I think if it
were different, and I wasnt in pain all the time, and I wanted and COULD
have sex as well, I would be more upset about the fact that he is
masterbating, but because I cant right now, I'm okay with it.
For me, it isnt just sex, but when I get turned on, my uterus feels like
sharp pains running through it, so even kissing is a no-no right now.
Kinda sad really.
At Mon, 30 Jan 2006, Jennifer wrote:
>
>Angie,
>I understand what you're going through, you see I'm a newlywed and my
>husband just turned 24 years old and has a sex drive like you wouldn't
>believe.
>We had to work with one another to figure out ways to be intimate with
>one another without me hurting for days after.
>Since my surgery I have had some relief and we are actually trying to
>get pregnant right now, so there's not a whole lot of masturbation on
>his part these days.
>But my husband had no problem doing it with me around, thing is he would
>get moody if we weren't intimate and I would get mad because it hurt me
>and I was too tired for it.
>I realized, that although he'd prefer intercourse, if he's taking his
>hand instead, he'd still rather have contact with me than none at all.
>So here's my suggestion, continue doing things for one another, do as
>much as you can. It's much harder if it hurts you to orgasm.
>But, if it doesn't, then you guys can do other things for one another.
>That helps me, because for me it only hurt to have intercourse.
>So I suggest that you guys have sexual activities that pleasure you
>both, followed by cuddling.
>And, let your husband know how you feel. Of course, be gentle, this is
>a delicate subject and easily leads to arguments, but he's your husband,
>you 2 should be able to share your feelings on these types of issues.
>Good luck to you.
>Jennifer A.
>
>At Sun, 29 Jan 2006, Angie wrote:
>>
>>OK, here's my newest problem...(well it's not new, I was just too
>>embarrassed to talk about it)
>>
>>With severe Endo sex is intensely painful for me. I am hoping after my
>>next surgery I can get back to a normal 30 year old woman's sex drive.
>>My hubby and I have not had sex in 6 months. He is very understanding
>>of the fact that it hurts me too much right now. My problem lies with
>>his masturbating. Ocassionally I will perform oral sex on him which
>>only leads to sex because we both get so excited. And of course I am in
>>horrific pain for a few hours.
>>
>>Last night I went up to bed around 10:00. Around 11 I was out of Diet
>>Coke and going through withdrawal (lol) so I went downstairs to grab a
>>soda. As I got downstairs I "caught" hubby in the act of pulling up his
>>pants and he was in front of the computer. I knew what he was doing
>>(this is not the first time I walked in on him in "the act"). I
>>proceeded to ignore it because he felt he had to hide it from me.
>>
>>I understand that he has his "needs" but at the same time it hurt my
>>feelings...1) because I always had a very high sex drive and love having
>>sex with him...I want to "get off" and can't in fear of the pain...but
>>he can!! and 2) I also feel hurt because he's trying to hide it from me.
>>
>>I don't know how to approach him on it because I've acted like I didn't
>>see anything for so long and don't want to embarrass him.
>>
>>Of course I would rather him masturbate then go get sex somewhere else
>>but I get angry because he gives me no attention since I can't have sex.
>>If I sit with him on the sofa and just want to snuggle and hold hands he
>>thinks I am showing interest in sex. He'll then start trying to fondle
>>my boobs and I get mad because all I want to do is cuddle. I feel if I
>>am not having sex with him then nothing else is good enough (except for
>>his hand). I wouldn't mind so much if he wasn't trying to hide it from
>>me and if he would give me "cuddle time". I just want the same cuddle
>>time as he has hand time.
>>
>>He isn't hiding his masturbating because he thinks it's "bad". He's 51
>>years old and knows it's part of life, he just feels he has to hide it
>>from me. Why? And what can I do about my cuddle time? Please help me
>>understand this. Thanks for listening and sorry this is so long.
>>
>>--
>>Angie
>>
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