Re: No Sex With Endo
From: K (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Sun Jan 29 17:16:52 2006
i am embarrassed to say this but since my last lap last year we have not
had intercourse.
I can't totally blame it on endo, but i think since i just found out i
have stage 4 with prob endo since a teen i can then understand my whole
life sex life. I always thought it was mental, but it always hurt and
until someone performed oral sex on me in my 20's, i had never had an
orgasm. I think i have only had a intercourse orgasm 2 times.
i love my husband. After marriage we decided after a few years to try
to have a baby, it took one time! Well after birth at 32, my sex drive
went down drastically. Tired exhausted working etc.. it was all i had
to get horny again. Sometimes after relaxing with friends and some wine
i would have a good sex night. Other than that now 39, the pain is too
bad to even get horny.
Like you i try to just be held, cuddle, sleep like spoons, but he
instantly gets touchy on the boobs and putting hand there, which i don't
blame him because we never have sex. I think he does the same with the
computer, but i rather him do that than go out and i really don't blame
him. It is a shame we can't be affectionate without signaling a sex
response. Oh he doesn't like oral sex so that is why that is a dead
issue.
After my total hysto i am hoping that improves, but i am reading it gets
worse! Guess i will have to take some testosterone and grow some balls!
Let us know!
At Sun, 29 Jan 2006, Kristina wrote:
>
>Sorry to get so personal, but does it only hurt on normal or deep
>penetration? If he can make it in about 2 or 3 inches without it hurting
>and clitoral stimulation doesn't bother you, then I have some ideas that
>might be able to help you. My husband and I manage to have a great sex
>life without the pain. If you are interested, let me know and I'll
>email you.
>
>-Kristina
>
>At Sun, 29 Jan 2006, Angie wrote:
>>
>>OK, here's my newest problem...(well it's not new, I was just too
>>embarrassed to talk about it)
>>
>>With severe Endo sex is intensely painful for me. I am hoping after my
>>next surgery I can get back to a normal 30 year old woman's sex drive.
>>My hubby and I have not had sex in 6 months. He is very understanding
>>of the fact that it hurts me too much right now. My problem lies with
>>his masturbating. Ocassionally I will perform oral sex on him which
>>only leads to sex because we both get so excited. And of course I am in
>>horrific pain for a few hours.
>>
>>Last night I went up to bed around 10:00. Around 11 I was out of Diet
>>Coke and going through withdrawal (lol) so I went downstairs to grab a
>>soda. As I got downstairs I "caught" hubby in the act of pulling up his
>>pants and he was in front of the computer. I knew what he was doing
>>(this is not the first time I walked in on him in "the act"). I
>>proceeded to ignore it because he felt he had to hide it from me.
>>
>>I understand that he has his "needs" but at the same time it hurt my
>>feelings...1) because I always had a very high sex drive and love having
>>sex with him...I want to "get off" and can't in fear of the pain...but
>>he can!! and 2) I also feel hurt because he's trying to hide it from me.
>>
>>I don't know how to approach him on it because I've acted like I didn't
>>see anything for so long and don't want to embarrass him.
>>
>>Of course I would rather him masturbate then go get sex somewhere else
>>but I get angry because he gives me no attention since I can't have sex.
>>If I sit with him on the sofa and just want to snuggle and hold hands he
>>thinks I am showing interest in sex. He'll then start trying to fondle
>>my boobs and I get mad because all I want to do is cuddle. I feel if I
>>am not having sex with him then nothing else is good enough (except for
>>his hand). I wouldn't mind so much if he wasn't trying to hide it from
>>me and if he would give me "cuddle time". I just want the same cuddle
>>time as he has hand time.
>>
>>He isn't hiding his masturbating because he thinks it's "bad". He's 51
>>years old and knows it's part of life, he just feels he has to hide it
>>from me. Why? And what can I do about my cuddle time? Please help me
>>understand this. Thanks for listening and sorry this is so long.
>>
>>--
>>Angie
>>
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