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No Sex With EndoFrom: Angie (anonymous@obgyn.net)Sun Jan 29 13:47:14 2006
OK, here's my newest problem...(well it's not new, I was just too embarrassed to talk about it) With severe Endo sex is intensely painful for me. I am hoping after my next surgery I can get back to a normal 30 year old woman's sex drive. My hubby and I have not had sex in 6 months. He is very understanding of the fact that it hurts me too much right now. My problem lies with his masturbating. Ocassionally I will perform oral sex on him which only leads to sex because we both get so excited. And of course I am in horrific pain for a few hours. Last night I went up to bed around 10:00. Around 11 I was out of Diet Coke and going through withdrawal (lol) so I went downstairs to grab a soda. As I got downstairs I "caught" hubby in the act of pulling up his pants and he was in front of the computer. I knew what he was doing (this is not the first time I walked in on him in "the act"). I proceeded to ignore it because he felt he had to hide it from me. I understand that he has his "needs" but at the same time it hurt my feelings...1) because I always had a very high sex drive and love having sex with him...I want to "get off" and can't in fear of the pain...but he can!! and 2) I also feel hurt because he's trying to hide it from me. I don't know how to approach him on it because I've acted like I didn't see anything for so long and don't want to embarrass him. Of course I would rather him masturbate then go get sex somewhere else but I get angry because he gives me no attention since I can't have sex. If I sit with him on the sofa and just want to snuggle and hold hands he thinks I am showing interest in sex. He'll then start trying to fondle my boobs and I get mad because all I want to do is cuddle. I feel if I am not having sex with him then nothing else is good enough (except for his hand). I wouldn't mind so much if he wasn't trying to hide it from me and if he would give me "cuddle time". I just want the same cuddle time as he has hand time. He isn't hiding his masturbating because he thinks it's "bad". He's 51 years old and knows it's part of life, he just feels he has to hide it from me. Why? And what can I do about my cuddle time? Please help me understand this. Thanks for listening and sorry this is so long.
-- Angie
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