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Re: can anyone help me...............sorry long postFrom: Leigh (anonymous@obgyn.net)Tue Dec 13 19:53:07 2005
Hi Lindsey, I am truly sorry you are going thru this. This disease is controlling all of our lives in one way or another. Your right it is not fair! Yet, all we can do is figure out the best way for ourselves to deal with it. To control the symptoms as best as possible until a cure can be found. Please do not be offended. I only offer support and my personal experience. I do not wish to add any more pain. Just an outside observation. Reality really sucks. It seems your boyfriend is pretty selfish. If he cannot be there for you now, do you really think he will be there when it really matters later? I know you probably don't want to hear this, but it could be better that he left now, instead of leaving later after you've learned to depend on him more. This disease you will most likely live with for the rest of your life. There will be good yrs and there will be bad. If he truly loved you he would stay and help, love and support you through this hard time you are having, not run away. He would help you fight this, and pick you up if you fall. For him to use that: " when you get better we can get back together" line, either he didn't listen when you explained about this Chronic Disease to him or he already knows you will be dealing with this for possibly the rest of your life. Either way he is copping out. Maybe there is more than just this disease he is running from or to, and blaming it on the disease was his easy way out. Hard to know. I really hope you have family and freinds near by that can help you through this hard time. I totally understand what you are going through. I have been down this road. I should have let mine go after 3 yrs. Instead I kept the selfish ass (mostly cause of his kid that considered me both mom and dad) for 8 yrs in total. Since I made him leave a little over two yrs ago yes there was depression and hard times for the first 6 months but after that, I began dating and having a good time for me (while still caring for his daughter from another marriage) She is now in college and I found my prince. Without even looking. or at least not looking there. I had to learn to love myself, I am now stronger for it. I know what I will and will not except from any man in my life. I had known my current boyfriend for a little over a year before we got together, we have since celebrated our 1yr annaversary. My endo/adheision/cyst problems came back into play hard core over the last 6 months. If he were not supportive or helpful to me I would be forced to let him go as well. Thankfully he is very loving, understandin, patient and as frustrated as I with this disease, but I have no fear he will leave me over it. I have had to take pills or drink or both to be able to have sex with my man for over 5 months. It is a fact of life right now he HAS to deal with or not. He would rather I do that and he get some than not at all. I don't like it either but I am already suffering enough without adding to it. I think we have had actual sex 1 time each month. Some times I take matter's/member's into my own hands just to relieve the irritable B***c he can become with too much testosterone build up, but I don't really like doing that either, What a tease! I know it hurts, I know it is frustrating. Love yourself for a while, heal your heart and your body the best you can and love will find you again. I hope it will be an even better love. I know mine has, though it took many yrs of suffering to get here. {{{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}}}and best of hope and luck to you!
At Tue, 13 Dec 2005, JR wrote:
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