ENDO Messages for October, 2005: Re: Introduction

Re: Introduction

From: Alyson (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Fri Oct 28 14:02:07 2005

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Nichelle, I had surgery about three weeks ago. My doctor removed an orange sized endometrioma from my peritoneum and a couple of smaller ones from each of my ovaries. I know it is really hard to deal with all of the "what if's" associated with having this disease. Knowing that there is something growing inside you that you have relatively no control over is absolutely maddening. You can't help but wonder how long you have to have children, how bad its going to be the next time, when the pain is going to come back...and on and on. I have really had to work hard in the last couple of weeks since my surgery to litterally take things one day at a time. If I wake up and its a good day, fabulous. If I wake up and I don't feel so hot I have to really let it just be for that day. We can get so caught up in worrying about what we might lose that we forget to live. I cried for days after my surgery because I couldn't believe how fast my disease had progressed in a year...and I cried because I was terrified that by the time I am ready to have children I might not be able to...and then I decided I can't live that way. When the day comes I have to deal with what life presents me then. Trust me, I don't mean that lightly. Hopefully when you have your surgery you can discuss some other options with your doctor that may help you. I posted an articel about a week ago. The posting si "coping with chronic pain". It is a great article that really helped me get a handle on my feelings about all of this. Maybe it can be of some help to you too. Alyson

At Fri, 28 Oct 2005, Nichelle wrote: >
>Hello. This is my 3rd attempt at posting a message. Let me first start
>by saying i'm glad i stumbled on to this. i have been looking for
>others who are going through what i'm going through. i am 24years old
>and found out last year that i had a severe form of endometriosis. i
>had surgery in march to remove a cantaloupe sized cyst. they ended up
>having to take my ovary and my appendix also. surgery was followed by 6
>months of lupron and let me tell you that was not a lot of fun. i hoped
>that would be the end, but i found out in may this year that i had
>another large cyst growing on my remaining ovary. the news was
>completely devastating. i have not had any children and it is my
>greatest fear to lose the opportunity to have any. i want them more
>than anything and although others try to say things as consolation, i
>truly feel like my life would not be complete without them. i have
>struggled (and still am struggling) with feelings of bitterness,
>resentment, self pity. this is the hardest thing i've ever had to deal
>with. this cyst is smaller but still fairly large (the size of a fist).
>so now i have surgery scheduled for Nov. 22nd. am very scared. just
>wanted to talk to someone cause none of my friends or family can truly
>understand what i'm going through.

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