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Re: Pain, more pain! to Lori D
From: Alyson (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Thu Oct 20 15:32:42 2005
Lori,
I went through the same thing with my in laws after my first lap. They
had me cleaning up hurricane debris on their property a week and a half
after surgery. Its a wonder I didn't bust my guts out. Its hard to say
know to people when you know they are looking at you thinking "She looks
fine" even though they know you don't feel fine. I think it gets back
to being one of the most frustrating things about this disease and
possibly why sometimes our spouses have such a hard time "getting it".
Ultimtely, as hard as it is, we have to learn to say no. Such a hard
thing for us stubborn-i-can-do-it-all women. I'm sure your parents are
wonderful people, as are my in laws, but they are your parents and if
they get ticked because you can't help them I am sure they will get over
it. They may react better than you think....and they may be used to you
saying yes in spite of your pain, so they think its ok to ask....just a
thought. Page 2 of the article is where all the good stuff is (all the
learning how to tell people no stuff anyway ;-)). Take it easy and feel
better!
Alyson
At Thu, 20 Oct 2005, Lori wrote:
>
>Alyson,
>Good site, thanks for the tip! One might think that my parents might
>understand, but unfortunately I don't believe they do. They want me to
>help them work with their business and they have taken on too much work
>and quite frankly expect that I must help. Now, my mom will say that
>she thinks I should figure this out, but yet when I hurt she seems to
>demand more from me and trust me she knows when I am hurting. My dad,
>doesn't know, doesn't care! It is a women issue to him and he doesn't
>seem to understand it. Now, don't get me wrong. My parents are
>wonderful people and I love them dearly and my dad is actually one of
>the most sensitive men I know, but they don't understand endo. I don't
>expect them to get it or know how it feels, but I do expect them to
>understand that this is hard on me and that I'm not crazy, but like most
>people (I say most, not all) it is hard for anyone to fathom the pain we
>endure. Until that day, how do I cope with it? I will have to look at
>the site further. I only looked at the first page. Thanks for sharing
>the site with us! You are a gem!
>Hugs~
>Lori D.
>
>At Thu, 20 Oct 2005, Alyson wrote:
>>
>>Lori
>>I was just reading an article from the Mayo Clinic on msn.com about
>>coping with pain. Its a bit Stuart Smiley (gosh darn it people like
>>me!) but, it makes some really good points. One of them being that you
>>have to start learning to participate in activities on a level you can
>>handle, like telling your parents you'll come by, but you can only stay
>>for 30 minutes (instead of the duration of whatever project they have in
>>store). Your mom wants you to see a doctor and knows you are in pain,
>>surely she will understand if you bow out early. Anyway, here's the
>>link to the article...
>>http://articles.health.msn.com/id/100096646/site/100000000/
>>
>>--
>>Alyson
>>
>>At Thu, 20 Oct 2005, Lori wrote:
>>>
>>>Alyson,
>>>Thanks, the bleeding is bad and the more bleeding I have, the more pain
>>>I seem to have. No pills are helping the pain go away and here I sit at
>>>work, nothing to do about it. I have to be here until 1 pm. and then
>>>my parents need me to help them this afternoon and probably will beg of
>>>my help tonight too. I hate saying no, because I want to help, but I
>>>need some R & R, I've been running myself ragged lately. Thanks for
>>>listening!
>>>Hugs~
>>>Lori D.
>>>
>>>At Thu, 20 Oct 2005, Alyson wrote:
>>>>
>>>>Hee Hee..you never know how someone is going to take something. This
>>>>bleeding sounds terrible. I really hope its something the doc can get
>>>>under control for you and that everything is OK.
>>>>Alyson
>>>>
>>>>At Thu, 20 Oct 2005, Lori wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>Alyson,
>>>>>I didn't take that as tough love, you are very right, but I guess I am a
>>>>>stubborn thing. Just like my parents whom I always say are stubborn. :)
>>>>>Runs in the family. I have decided I need to do something because this
>>>>>morning. I put in a tampon before I left for home, I then had a 20 min.
>>>>>drive to drop off my kids and then when I got out of the car I felt an
>>>>>awful gush. Once I got to work I went into the bathroom to see my pad
>>>>>full of blood and my tampon was completely saturated and I had large
>>>>>clots. There was blood on my pants, but luckily it doesn't show (I was
>>>>>smart and wore black.) Needless to say, something has to be done,
>>>>>because I can't go on each month living this horror. Thanks for the
>>>>>response and you weren't tough, you were sincere. I've had much worse
>>>>>things said to me then that! :)LOL
>>>>>Take care!
>>>>>Hugs~
>>>>>Lori D.
>>>>>
>>>>>At Wed, 19 Oct 2005, Alyson wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Lori D.
>>>>>>I say this with sincerety and care...I know it is easy to let the
>>>>>>process of ridding your debt run your life and influence your decisions.
>>>>>>However, not going to the doctor could prolong a serious medical
>>>>>>situation. You know you have endo and it causes you pain, but you know
>>>>>>as well as anyone that there can also be other diseases, disorders,
>>>>>>concerns that go hand in hand. An initial doctor's visit to ensure that
>>>>>>what is happening to you right now is not some other life altering issue
>>>>>>will not have any long lasting affect on your debt situation. If
>>>>>>nothing else just go make sure everything is alright and then take it
>>>>>>one day at a time from there. Sorry for the tough love.
>>>>>>Alyson
>>>>>>
>>>>>>At Wed, 19 Oct 2005, Lori wrote:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Hi Girls,
>>>>>>>Well, another month has come and the pain is still here. I started
>>>>>>>getting my period on Sunday and since then I have had this pain. It is
>>>>>>>kind of hard to explain, but it is located in the center/right side of
>>>>>>>my lower abdomen. It is almost like I can pinpoint the spot. It is
>>>>>>>very sore and tender. I have more pain with it when I am standing up
>>>>>>>verses sitting or laying down. Does anyone ever have pain like that?
>>>>>>>What is it? I have been struggling with major p.m.s. this month. I
>>>>>>>have many other things going on in my life that are helping contribute
>>>>>>>to the stress also. I have been experiencing a lot of back cramps that
>>>>>>>don't want to go away and it doesn't matter what I take, it just won't
>>>>>>>quit. My mom says, go to the doctor, I say, I can't--just can't afford
>>>>>>>it. My husband is just getting back to work after 2 weeks off, my son
>>>>>>>is having lots of tests done and we just got a loan to clear up all our
>>>>>>>medical bills from when my son died and my husbands surgery and all the
>>>>>>>endo. bills I had from before. I just can't afford to go, I don't want
>>>>>>>to be back to square one. I don't know, I guess I am frustrated and
>>>>>>>can't figure out what to do. Does anyone have any suggestions or
>>>>>>>advice. I'm hurting and could use some friends.
>>>>>>>Thanks!
>>>>>>>Wishing you a good, pain free day!
>>>>>>>Hugs~
>>>>>>>Lori D.
>>
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