|
Re: melt down TO ANGELA (and anyone else interested)
For more information on symptoms and treatment of endometriosis visit www.EndometriosisZONE.org.
From: Alyson (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Thu Sep 8 09:37:28 2005
Angela,
Yes exactly! I guess that post was really more about me being baffled as
to why we do this to ourselves than me being upset about myself in
particular. I just find it so amazing that in this day and age we still
don't allow ourselves that freedom. Our men are usually the first to
throw themselves a pitty party if they have a cold, but we apologize to
them (even when they are being so supportive) for being in excrutiating
pain. And even crazier, we post messages on this board that we are
having a bad day and then add an apology at the end for saying it. I
mean if we can't whine to each other without feeling ashamed, who can we
whine to?
I think we are all strong women by virtue of dealing with this disease
and still managing to get through life in general. So, I just really
hate that we do this to ourselves, that we view ourselves as weaklings
for aknowledging that some days its just too much.
I'm feeling a little more put together today...at least I haven't cried
yet! ;-)
Thanks for listening!
Alyson
At Wed, 7 Sep 2005, angela wrote:
>
>Alyson,
>My heart aches for you....quick story....a few days ago I was filling
>out a questionaire for my doc and i gave answers like "the pain is ok;
>not too bad" and I thought my boyfriend was going to come unglued. He
>said "yes it is bad, really bad!! why are you minimizing this?" I
>started to think about the crying fit I had on Friday and I did the same
>things as you. It is the way that we are wired. Somehow saying out
>loud that you feel cra**y is admitting some kind of made up defeat in
>our minds. We as women are programed that we are the glue that holds
>the family together and when we are broken we don't look at it
>realistically to fix ourselves. Prioritize your life. Is the world
>going to end if you don't vacuum this week? can you confide in someone
>at work that you are feeling sick and tired and could use a hand? If you
>are not taking care of yourself...you are not taking care of anyone
>else. Give yourself permission to feel sh**y. You sound like a great
>woman with alot of love for others! Do not feel bad about asking your
>loved ones for some help and support. If you can afford it get a
>massage, pedicure, hire someone to help around the house for a day or
>something like that. Write your husband a short note and thank him for
>his love and support. Hell.....I don't have any answers....this is just
>the stuff I am trying to keep myself sane....it works most of the time!
>I am thinking about you and will be here if you need me! YOU ARE STRONG
>AND WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>At Wed, 7 Sep 2005, Alyson wrote:
>>
>>Hey Ladies,
>>I went home last night and had a good crying fit, I mean a really good
>>one. My husband is out of town alot, which doesn't help-not his fault
>>though, and when he called last night I finally just broke down. I told
>>him how disappointed I get in myself when I start to feel so
>>overwhealmed and that I don't want to seem weak and whiney.
>>I posted yesterday and I've seen a few other posts today that seem to
>>get at the very same thing. Its made me start wondering how many of us
>>are still living this antiquated idea of what it means to be a strong
>>woman, that we are supposed to suffer our pain without so much as a
>>wimper all while holding ourselves, our lover, families, household, and
>>jobs together. I found myself apologizing to my husband this morning
>>for breaking down last night and he kept asking me why I would apologize
>>for such a thing. I don't know. We even apologize to each other on
>>this site.
>>The crazy thing is that we are all strong women. Our guts are on fire,
>>stabbing, throbbing, pulling, kidneys feel like they are exploding and
>>we get up every day and pull ourselves together as best we can and do
>>what we have to do. We can't make love to our mates, we can't walk the
>>dog, we've lost sight of ourselves and yet we can't give ourselves the
>>gift of saying "You know what, I feel like sh*t today. Again. And I'm
>>freakin tired of it." As Julie said to me, we deserve to scream and
>>pound our fists every now and again.
>>I think I'm going to try therapy for a bit so, as Julie said again, I
>>can pay someone to listen to me throw a fit. Maybe they can explain to
>>me why I don't feel like I deserve that.
>>Whew! Thanks for listening and thanks for your support,
>>Alyson
|
|
![[ endo@obgyn.net ]](../../images/endo_at_obgyn.gif)