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A never-ending storyFrom: Robyn (anonymous@obgyn.net)Wed Sep 7 11:51:04 2005
I am new to this site, I just found it while typing in the word endometriosis for the fiftieth time, trying to find some new and fantastic information that will stop this hell. I didn't find any magic, but this forum is actually pretty comforting. It's nice to know there are people out there who know what I am going through. I had a lap three weeks ago, and have had nothing but questions ever since. My doctor called me in to the office, sat me down for a grand total of three minutes, stating that I needed to go on Synarel, listed the side effects, and told me to come back in six months. About a week and a half after my procedure I started bleeding like I never have before, with pain that doubled me over, so I called his office. Seven hours later he called me back, stating that the bleeding and pain were normal, and eventually the Synarel would take care of both. Eventually?? Every day I wake up thinking to myself "Okay....the pain will be better today. And every day I sit at my desk trying to talk myself out of taking yet another pain pill. Last night, while watching TV with my daughter, I said something kinda dumb, and she said, "You took those pills that make you stoned again, didn't you, Mom?" It broke my heart. I don't want to be a "junkie mom". Since my lap, the pain has been worse than ever before. I used to have 2 really bad weeks per month. (The week before, and the week of my period). Now it seems that I am destined to be in pain 24 hours a day, seven days a week. I am gaining weight like there is no tomorrow, because I can't be bothered to fight through the pain long enough to exercise, and then I get bummed out and grab a nice big bag of "comfort food". I realize that lack of exercise and stress, and probably even depression are contributing factors to the amount of pain I am in, but I find myself wondering how in the hell I am supposed to do anything about it. If the pain makes me feel depressed, and depression makes me feel lazy and want comfort food, which makes me fat, and being fat makes me depressed, then how do I get myself out of this?? It feels like a viscious circle. Anyone out there have any advice on how to make myself feel better? How to motivate myself through the pain and off the couch? Is there a light at the end of this freakin' tunnel? Holy cow....usually I hate feeling sorry for myself, but I think I just did a pretty good impression of someone who feels very sorry for herself. Sorry if I sound whiny.....I just needed to vent. thanks
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